Girlfriend doesn't want to pay me rent.

[andy87]

Hi folks, my current situation is have had my own place for a few years now, I don't rent, I bought the property I have a mortgage. My girlfriend has mentioned that if she was to ever move in she wouldn't be happy about paying half my mortgage as her name isn't on the mortgage but would pay half the bills, I said I think she should be paying me a rent fee as she would be staying in the property, Am I being unreasonable as she doesn't agree. Anyone been in this situation where they have a house and girlfriend moves in but doesn't pay rent? Andy

 

[Bandolero]

In my opinion it is your duty, to provide for the roof over your head .

She can cover the groceries.

 

[kavi]

Its up to you. I wud never pay for a woman but a lot of guys will.

Becuase so many men pay for women now your girl wants you to pay her rent too.

Most men are willing to pay. Others want to be paid. Some are happy to pay their share.

Wealth and money is the biggest corruptor of women.

For the benefit of women and humanity it is better men stop paying for women.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Replace her with a girl who´s more than happy to pay

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The logic is flawed. She has no issues paying rent to help pay off her landlord's mortgage.

However, I also think it is weird to allow a woman to live with you and expect she pays rent.

If you lived with her you wouldn't expect to pay rent.

I think her offer to pay bills every month like electric/gas/food is a fair compromise. It's not like those don't exist and you somehow wouldn't be paying those if she wasn't there.

I don't see why this should be a hard compromise to make.

IMHO, if you need the money that badly you should focus on getting a better paying job.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Hi folks, my current situation is have had my own place for a few years now, I don't rent, I bought the property I have a mortgage. My girlfriend has mentioned that if she was to ever move in she wouldn't be happy about paying half my mortgage as her name isn't on the mortgage but would pay half the bills, I said I think she should be paying me a rent fee as she would be staying in the property, Am I being unreasonable as she doesn't agree. Anyone been in this situation where they have a house and girlfriend moves in but doesn't pay rent? Andy

I think that your position is reasonable. Having said that, check your local laws. After paying you "rent" of a while, she may be entitled to an equitable interest in your property if she can spin it as mortgage contributions.

If you're going to live together, why not buy something together as well (with each of you contributing an equal amount to the downpayment and mortgage payments)? If she's not cool with that, tell her it's 2023, not 1923.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

her comment of not paying rent was kinda salty. Her true colors kinda peeped out homie. Keep tabs on that.
She must be paying rent where she at so why not?
If she isn’t chippin for half of the rent then she ain’t staying here. Stay where you at paying for somebody else’s mortgage then

forking over for “half” of the bills ain’t sh1t compared to splitting the rent especially here in Cali where im from. Not even all the bills homegirl said halfies…
That comment from her would definitely disturb my calm.
Technically she wants to be living on your dime.

If she ain’t a virgin or a girl ima marry then she breaking bread and even then I’m reaching.

A girl who really likes and respects you wouldn’t have no issue splittin the rent even if satan’s name was inked on the contract.

I wouldn’t even want that kind of girl living with me.

The best relationships with longevity that I have had was when the girl was not shady with her cash and didn’t flinch one second in spending some on me no questions asked.

 

[The Duke]

I've had two live in girlfriends. They both paid.

And you better believe a chic isn't sleeping under my roof for free. The only girl that is sleeping under my roof for free would be a 24yo dime piece that gets replaced every 3months.

My first live in gf paid me about half my mortgage. She also wanted a $7000 fence for her dogs. I paid for half and she paid for the other half. I didn't have to ask her to help pay for anything. She came to me and said she wanted to help out, and asked what was fair.

My second live in gf was the one I have now. We have a $1,000,000 property. My name is on all the legal documents. I created another personal document that says she is a 30% owner. She cussed me every single step but finally agreed. I never caved. She has financial skin in the game as a down payment and monthly mortgage to me. I told her she could be a silent partner or I would own 100% and if she didn't like that then she could pay rent.

Set your terms, be fair, if they don't like it they can hit the road.

It really serves as a test to how much they trust you, how submissive they are, are or are not taking advantage of you, and believe in you.

Modern day woman needs to stop picking and choosing what best suits her and what doesn't.

Never be afraid to cut one loose that doesn't accept your terms.

It's Comply or bye! Plenty of them out there.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

her comment of not paying rent was kinda salty. Her true colors kinda peeped out homie. Keep tabs on that.
She must be paying rent where she at so why not?
If she isn’t chippin for half of the rent then she ain’t staying here. Stay where you at paying for somebody else’s mortgage then

forking over for “half” of the bills ain’t sh1t compared to splitting the rent especially here in Cali where im from. Not even all the bills homegirl said halfies…
That comment from her would definitely disturb my calm.
Technically she wants to be living on your dime.

If she ain’t a virgin or a girl ima marry then she breaking bread and even then I’m reaching.

A girl who really likes and respects you wouldn’t have no issue splittin the rent even if satan’s name was inked on the contract.

I wouldn’t even want that kind of girl living with me.

The best relationships with longevity that I have had was when the girl was not shady with her cash and didn’t flinch one second in spending some on me no questions asked.

It wouldn't be half the bills it would be the full bills including food or at least that is what I would tell her.

 

[hoadr3]

I would have her go half on everything. You are not married, make sure she’s invested in the relationship.

 

[The Duke]

Hi folks, my current situation is have had my own place for a few years now, I don't rent, I bought the property I have a mortgage. My girlfriend has mentioned that if she was to ever move in she wouldn't be happy about paying half my mortgage as her name isn't on the mortgage but would pay half the bills, I said I think she should be paying me a rent fee as she would be staying in the property, Am I being unreasonable as she doesn't agree. Anyone been in this situation where they have a house and girlfriend moves in but doesn't pay rent? Andy

Tell her only sugar babies live rent free. Hahaha. If that's what she wants to be.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Tell her only sugar babies live rent free. Hahaha. If that's what she wants to be.

Copy dat. No run down high mileage beezy over 25 should live rent free under your roof. Speaking in parables here

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

It wouldn't be half the bills it would be the full bills including food or at least that is what I would tell her.

Negative. Half of everything is the ultimate investment she can do to show her respect and commitment for you.
I would just get my own food.
You gotta keep girls investing in you in the highest form for them to feel committed and scale your worth or else she is gone
you don’t even gotta cut the cards on the table if she is submissive and puts stock of faith in you she will willingly trust you with breaking her bread to what is fair.
Her actions in this situation is the juice

 

[BeExcellent]

Agree with @Howiestern 1000% on this.

My fiancé moved in with me. We split the housing costs (rent) straight down the middle. I buy the food (that way I don’t catch crap for buying more expensive organic food, which I have always done, and I have 2 teens under our roof who eat said organic food). He actually doesn’t eat lots of groceries at home and I keep the beer he likes on hand (expensive craft stouts typically), which he appreciates.

He also pays 1/3 of the bills. That way he is contributing but again, I’ve got 2 teens using water & power, plus I don’t want him to be the HVAC police if I want to run the AC or heater. His utility amount is consistent and I cover overage to account for my kids and preferences.

He pays 100% of TV costs and his own cell phone, I pay 100% of Internet costs plus cell phones for myself & the kids. He pays for 80% to 90% trip costs when we travel for his sporting events, we generally split costs on vacation travel & we wing it on going out. Sometimes he pays more often, sometimes I do.

If/when we buy a property together, I’m going to require an equity arrangement like Howie based on financial contribution. If I am getting the loan and putting up the entire down payment then he will not get a 50% ownership interest, even if we split the mortgage. That is too much financial risk to me. I’d go 25-30% and expect him to pay more of the mortgage so over time he gains equity. We can always adjust ownership share.

He will sign a prenup and will have zero interest in my business endeavors and income real estate assets. And I shoulder all expenses there as well.

And if he wouldn’t do the above? C’ya.

The person with the gold makes the rules. Howie is that person in his relationship, I am that person in mine.

No way you let someone freeload. Nope.

 

[2Rocky]

My situation (without revealing too much) was there was a disparity in income at the start. Now her career has taken off so in short:

She does the regular "big Shop" for groceries, while I will fill in with some fill ins from the grocery store on my way home from work.
I totalled last years "Joint" expenses. Internet, TV, Electricity, Gas, Garbage. Most were monthly but some are intermittent. I averaged them across 12 months and she pays half that each month to me. I take care of half the animals she does the dogs. She pays the Warehouse club membership, I pay for roadside assistance. She does the gardening and buys the plants and soil supplies. I mow and spray. We do our own Laundry

We each pay our own mortgage (she rents out her place), and our own car expenses.

If she has her "Own room" you could conceivably ask she pay a roommate rate if you would normally rent that out.

If you are Renting then paying half the rent is a definitely required. If you own and will be benefiting from the equity increase then you don't have as much of a leg to stand on. In that case I would want her to bring more value to the living arrangement in terms of domestic duties. Cleaning for a start.

 

[Murk]

I own my place too, I had a girl rent my spare room and made her pay about 70% of my total bills. Ex gf wanted to move in I told her if that ever happened (it didn't) she would pay X amount (60% total bills).

Ain't no free rides, if I'm giving up my space you are paying MINIMUM 51% of my total bills. I never tell anyone what my total bills are, I give them a figure and they accept or not. It still works out cheaper to rent alone or in a house share with randoms here in London.

That's how you need to operate. They pay YOU.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Slippery slope OP. My mate is literally moving in to a new flat this weekend having initiated a very messy divorce from his head case soon to be ex wife.
You guessed it, he paid for everything (simp), and literally, everything, save a bit of spending money I guess. And, as he went to empty the old flat, she had taken everything worth taking. Massive TV, kitchenware, almost everything of any value. Even cohabitation can be a tricky issue nowadays, depending which country is in question.

If there is a reasonable exchange going on, great. But mixing finances up like paying the whole rent needs to be thought through very carefully, and discussed thoroughly, whether she likes it or not.

 

[EyeBRollin]

This all seems tacky to me. I do not understand why move a broad into your place that you aren’t married to or have a biological child with. What is the rationale?

Re: equitable distribution of rent- “Fair” is she either pays an equitable percentage of local market rent or an equitable percentage of your mortgage + property taxes. Equitable meaning combine your gross incomes and allocate proportionally:

Example: You - $100K, Her - $50K

Housing costs/Rent $2,000 monthly. You pay $1,333, she pays $667.

Those 50/50 splits are crooked.

 

[member160292]

OP, are you considering her for the long run?

if so, living together will test the waters on if you are compatible. I was with an ex for 3 years before we moved in and had to ask her to leave within 6 months of living together.

If long term is not your Intent then just not have her move in at all

I have a 2br/2ba condo and I took the other room for myself. It was fair having her pay 40% of the rent while I covered utilities/internet

 

[f(x)]

Don’t charge her rent. Keep her name off any documents and make sure she cooks, cleans, and folds your laundry. She should be available sexually at your discretion. Otherwise, send her packing.