Girlfriend breaking Promises

[nan3109]

My girlfriend and I agreed that since she has moved 100 miles away to live in a college dorm in a differ state and I am to remain in the Twin Cities, MN than we both will refrain from drinking, going to parties, or hanging out with people of the opposite sex.

Well, tonight I was at a friends with about 5 guys sitting around playing poker and blackjack for quarters. Everyone, except my sober self, was drinking and smoking weed. I just sat there and played cards and didnt even think about smoking or drinking.

Well, about an hour into the game I get a call my g/f of 8 months who calls me up saying "I love you... I love you...." in a VERY drunken tone and tells me she wants to have my babies and other crazy stuff (lol). Well anyways, she says got drunk with a couple of her girlfriends. I told her she was going against her promise and she told me she never promised to not drink with out me.

Then when she realized she DID promise not to drink without me she told me (repeatidly) that she was drinking with ONLY girls and that I shouldnt be mad. I told her I was not mad but she insisted that I was.Then she broke down in tears and her friends had to talk to me on the phone.

Do you guys believe when a woman breaks a promise like this that she is bound to break more promises (aka, is she likely to cheat?). I questioned her about breaking promises and if she would now cheat because she just broke one promise. She replied that she loves me and she wants me to have her kids and marry her someday (remember she was drunk though).

What'd you guys think???

 

[Ice Cold]

I think you just added some drama into your relationship, unwittingly of course.

You made her cry, which is good thing. She will realize she needs you/loves you.

But it's not a big thing. Seems she was truly sorry for this, so don't worry.

Just make sure she will make it up with sex/*******s whatever.


But how can u not go to parties? and not meet people from opp sex?

I'd start breaking the promises myself, cause long distance rarely works...

 

[violator]

Girls who tend to drink alot and get drunk are not trust worthy, period. Alcohol tends to lower a girls inhibitions therefore making it easier for some bum to get her in the sack. I just do not see a girl who drinks or does drugs on a regular basis as LTR material.

That is besides her making promises that she cannot keep.

I would seriously think about reevaluating your relationship with this girl and opening up your options with available women closer to home. There are trust issues that I foresee will cause major problems and heartache. I say so from experience as I have been in similar situations.

 

[DJStudent]

You know what? Don't trip. If she's going to cheat on you, she's going to cheat on you. Don't be paranoid about it. Why worry about something you have no control of?

You started down the wrong path with all the restrictions you have places on each other. You guys are young and need to enjoy freedom. Prohibiting that would make you look more like a adult. Seriously, if she goes out with guy friends, let her. If she wants to drink, go party, whatever, let her do so. As long as it's not so far out there.

You guys are not going to marry anytime soon and she's not going to wait around if something better comes her way.

P.S. Long term relationship does not work unless you see each other regularly.

 

[squirrels]

You now represent rules and restrictions. She sees all her friends going out drinking, partying, dancing every friggin weekend night. And she has to stay at home and play solitaire because of you.

If you can't trust her to go out and party with her friends and still stay faithful, maybe it wasn't meant to be.

LOL..."You can't hang out with any other members of the opposite sex!" How insecure are you?

 

[echo1212]

Do you wanna lose this girl? I think you do because othewise you wouldn't seriously put all of these restricitons on her and yourself if you really wanted to keep her.

I'm really stunned by the amount of afc'ness around here lately. You don't want her to drink, go to parties, or hang out with any guy--WHILE SHE"S IN COLLEGE??!!?? And you expect her to see allllll her friends doing it and going out while she sits in her dorm room playing tiddlywinks?

Dude, have enough confidence in your gf to do the right thing. Let her do what shes gonna do. The more restricitons you place on her the quicker she's gonna cheat-mark my words. Be a confident, relaxed, fun guy and she'll respect your wishes so much more.

Plus, by placing these restricitons on yourself, your denying yourself the fun of being with your friends at parties and what not. What are you..the taliban? My GOD man get some balls.

 

[dietzcoi]

Amen, Echo!!

Nan3109, you are entering the AFC zone! What are you doing, wasting your college years?

Do you have any idea how much I would like to have gone to a regular college (I went to a military academy)?? Why don't you learn from a recovered AFC (me)?

You are voluntarily throwing your freedom away for some BS long distance relationship that won't work and BTW you are too young for it anyway?

How AFC is that?? Please do not waste your college years!

Pining away for and trying to contol a girl who is a long distance away, putting restrictions on yourself and having a major case of oneitis is seriously bad news. STOP IT!

Dietzcoi

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Yeah, what are you afraid of, that she would not be faithful to you if you? If that's the case and you can't trust her faithfulness, why waste your time dating her? You might as well just break it off or make her a FB.

Dude, she wan'ts a boyfriend, not a father.
Be realistic in what you ask of your partner and you have a better chance of her respecting it.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

You sound too insecure to me.

You probably are doing the same thing her parents did.

You tell her, NO DRINKING, NO PARTIES, NO HANGING OUT, or this and that,

most people, men and women, GO OFF TO COLLEGE to get away from restrictions, to get away from rules that their parents set for them.

You my friend, seem to be putting all these things on her.

Either you too much of a controlling person, or a very insecure person.

It's college. Everybody is going to party.

As i told a nephew of mine, a college freshmen.

His GF is still a SENIOR in HS and they are about 3 h ours away from one another now.

I respect his opinion and offered him simple advice.

Go out and have fun. It's college. Y ou will never have as much freedom as you will in college. You will never meet as many people as you do in college. Hey you don't have to hook up with anybody, but go out, enjoy life, meet new people(men and women), this is probably the only time in life you will be able to do that. Meet so many different people without even trying.

But by placing all these restrictions, you are only asking for trouble.

Let her be a young COLLEGE GIRL.

Let yourself be a young COLLEGE GUY.

If things still work out in the long run, good for you.

Just don't be one of those couples, who, later in life, blame your partner for not having fun in your twenties.

 

[Chewy Bagel]

I have not heard of a long distance realtionship working out. I wish you luck. I would be jealous has hell and probably go crazy thinking about how my girl was out and could possibly be banging other guys. IMO, most girls (and guys) in a long distance relationship end up cheating - especially if they drink/party/smoke weed. You may flame away boys, but it happens more often than you realize. I've was cheated on by 4 out of 5 long term girlfriends I had through highschool and college - all hot party girls too. I usually found out after the breakup that they had cheated. Oh, and I was Mr. Secure. I trusted them at all times. Stupid me. High school and College aged women who party are the ones most likely to cheat, IMO.

 

[Krassus]

Sounds like a waste of time. Whats your plan, to do this for the next few years? Not party, not drink, not have a girl to have sex with? Its ridiculous. Not to mention there's a 90-something % chance that she'll cheat on you. If it were me, i'd probably leave her and go on to enjoy life.

 

[Julian]

My girlfriend and I agreed that since she has moved 100 miles away to live in a college dorm in a differ state and I am to remain in the Twin Cities, MN than we both will refrain from drinking, going to parties, or hanging out with people of the opposite sex.

O M F G

 

[JohnJones]

This is an interesting theory. I remember when I was in college, I used to meet these girls who would hook up while admitting that they had boyfriends (in some cases, fiances).

The theory was that the girl knew she was in love and that she was going to marry the other guy, so what does it matter if she has a little fun?

 

[DankNuggs]

You are some manipulative piece of garbage. You put restrictions on what your girlffrend can and can't do while going to college!!!

You're also screwed now because her girlfriends now recognize what a psychopath you are, and will be definitely chirping in her ear about how its not right....And it isn't.

She shouldn't worry about breaking a promise because she shouldn't have had to go to this extreme just to sooth your gaping insecurities.

All it will take is one guy she finds attractive to talk sweet nothings in her ear about experiencing life, and enjoying freedom when she can, and she'll be spreading her legs like warm butter....but oh wait, she isn't ALLOWED to hang out with guys. HAHAHAHA, this only makes her want the forbidden fruit even more....

Hey she decided to get drunk in college, good for her. You need to get out of her way until you learn to have a relationship based
on trust and respect....You give neither, and thus deserve neither.


GROW UP

 

[echo1212]

The sad thing is this idiot has posted over 200 times-I'm sure offering such sound advice as like how to buy the right size dog collar for you gf, and proper punishment for when girlfriends "get out of line". Sickening.