Girl you’ve been seeing ex calls her out of the blue

[2Rocky]

What you want to date girls that don't have options? Comes with the territory man.

They are coyotes on the fringes....be a wolf MAN!

 

[Robert28]

What you want to date girls that don't have options? Comes with the territory man.

They are coyotes on the fringes....be a wolf MAN!

It’s not that. I just don’t want to waste my time on someone who’s hung up on an ex and using me as a placeholder. I could be out with someone else that was ready to move on with someone else, not waste my time with someone who’s looking to go on a few dates to make her ex jealous and drop the “oh me and my ex are going to work things out” bomb on me.

 

[2Rocky]

That's on you man...be irreplaceable, or have other options. Those are your choices. both with women and career....

 

[Robert28]

That's on you man...be irreplaceable, or have other options. Those are your choices. both with women and career....

A guy with other options isn’t going to keep seeing a girl that pulls that though. Look, she has no clue if you’re irreplaceable or not, she’s only known you for a few dates, she’s known her ex for months or years.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

LOL, I am a woman and calling 100% BS on that!

This is why you need more women on this forum, to give it to you straight from the "horse's mouth."

As a woman who has played games in the past, employed various shyt tests, I will tell you honestly that you do not want a woman like this.
A "quality" woman with high interest, a woman secure within herself, does not do things like that. Even assuming it's true, why tell you? To elicit a reaction, that is the ONLY reason.

Since I have grown up and away from all those games, I have had ex's contact me when I am in a new RL and I have no need or desire to mention this to my boyfriend. None whatsoever. I handle it.

Same when men approach and/or hit on me, I have no interest or desire to tell my boyfriend, there is no reason for it, other than to elicit a jealous response.

Best to not give her one and change the subject. Just my opinion from a woman who's BTDT but grown out and away from all that contrived silly BS.

@Robert28 this ^^

I would ignore it, and act if she hadn't mentioned it in the first place. But keep in mind this is a red flag as far as her thought process and behavior.

Modern Man Advice

 

[2Rocky]

A guy with other options isn’t going to keep seeing a girl that pulls that though. Look, she has no clue if you’re irreplaceable or not, she’s only known you for a few dates, she’s known her ex for months or years.

You should change your handle to "Yeah But..."

 

[Robert28]

@Robert28 this ^^

I would ignore it, and act if she hadn't mentioned it in the first place. But keep in mind this is a red flag as far as her thought process and behavior.

Modern Man Advice

I was just wondering if guys usually kept seeing the girl or if it would be smarter to just be like “nope, fvck this, I’m getting out NOW before it goes further because I know she’s going back to him eventually.”

 

[Alvafe]

just gonna put what I think

a interested woman will not pull this sh!t on you if is true, because that could put a bad mood on the whole thing, and if is true she would "forget" him, and wouldn't put the whole thing on a bad term.

understand, woman will manipulate and push for reactions, hence why we say to ignore her if she don't behave.

want a example of woman manipulation? she post a photo of flowers on her FB KNOWING her BF at time would see it and would be pissed just to see what he would do, that is something I saw happen, she ven confessed later she did it on purpose even when her BF at time called her she said it was not her intention

what I would do on this case of the OP? I would take a piss, and ask for details, and check her reations, but know this I would be skipping her pretty soon anyway

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I was just wondering if guys usually kept seeing the girl or if it would be smarter to just be like “nope, fvck this, I’m getting out NOW before it goes further because I know she’s going back to him eventually.”

I think that's pretty case by case. To me, it is a red flag and speaks to her mindset as @catsmeow stated.

Is it a deal-breaker?

That is ultimately such a personal decision. Because while others might find it disrespectful and distasteful to attempt to arise jealousy in you and decide to move on (and rightfully so as no one has time for someone playing games), some might find it simply immature and not pay too much attention. I do think you have to take other characteristics about her into consideration and make a decision holistically.

To simply walk away in the fear that she will dump you because she can potentially get back to him will only speak volumes about your character and mindset. It speaks, at least for me, weak. But to walk away because you value your time and have really high standards in your life is highly respectable and honorable. So it really depends on your true reason for walking away.

Her ultimate goal is to trigger a reaction, your path as a man is to walk the Earth unfazed by others' actions knowing your ultimate purpose and direction. Do not give her what she is ultimately childishly trying to accomplish.

Hope this helps.

Modern Man Advice

 

[Bokanovsky]

Ignore it, it was most likely some sort of "shyt test" to gauge your reaction. Not proud to admit but I have played games like that myself in the past (20ish). They are silly and childish and reflect insecurity.

Honestly let it go one ear and out the other, as well as any other attempt to provoke jealousy, like mentioning other guys who approached/hit on her that day.

Do not respond, do NOT react, pretend you didn't hear it and immediately change the subject.

EDIT: If it does turn out to be true (massive IF), and she leaves you for him, so be. Leave them to it, hopefully you have other options.

I agree with this advice, except for the bolded part. Ignore the sh!t tests but draw appropriate conclusions. A woman who does stuff like that is plate material at best. Do not even consider a serious relationship with her.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Something I’ve had happen to me several times and never knew how to handle. Say you’ve been out with a girl a few times and things seem to be going well, then she drops the bomb on you “my ex called me today”. And it’s always 6-7 months after they’ve broken up. Always. And the ex always seems to call as soon as it seems like things are going well. The girl plays it off “it means nothing! I blocked him! I like you!” but you know it’s the beginning of the end. Do you ghost her? Make her a plate even after she wasn’t plate status before (and how do you even do that?). How do you handle this situation?

I pull back. Ex or guy friends means downgrade to booty call.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Men are told not to ask “what are we” though. Makes us look weak and needy. And I’m not about to be exclusive with anyone I’ve only been out with 4-5 times. One of the girls, we even had the “what are we” talk and we were both on the same page. Then not two weeks later she pulls the “my ex called me yesterday” crap.

I 100% leave it to women. Modern women tend not to pursue ltr. Good riddance. Got mine. Any mention of ex is grounds for disregard. #next!

Go get more girls. It's screaming liability.

 

[bat soup]

Something I’ve had happen to me several times and never knew how to handle. Say you’ve been out with a girl a few times and things seem to be going well, then she drops the bomb on you “my ex called me today”. And it’s always 6-7 months after they’ve broken up. Always. And the ex always seems to call as soon as it seems like things are going well. The girl plays it off “it means nothing! I blocked him! I like you!” but you know it’s the beginning of the end. Do you ghost her? Make her a plate even after she wasn’t plate status before (and how do you even do that?). How do you handle this situation?

I'd say "Oh really?" and ask what he said. If she's telling you, it's probably not a bad thing. If she was interested in getting back with him she'd just meet the guy in secret without telling you anything about it.