Girl with bf is into me in public, but cold in private, what does she want?

[hop On hop Off]

About her: HB8, bf in another state, wears make-up, spends 20 min getting ready to go out. We live in a house, nobody messes with her, if she sets the heater at 72, don't try to change it.

About us: We are roommates, living together for a month now. There are 2 others. Her bf came over twice, they slept together.

When her bf is around, I feel she acts aloof to me. Trying to draw the line. When he is not here, she acts like she's my gf in front of EVERYONE in the house. Nobody can talk to me, except her.

She cooks for me. Always singles me out for help. Always fight for front seat of my car with my housemates. Initiate conversations with me in my car and look down on other housemates.

Rumors are spreading that we should go out. But, she's with someone, not gonna do it.

She's got my IL pretty high lately. I started talking ot her, giving her attention. In public, she still acts like she's my gf, fight for attention, don't let others talk. But in private, she now cuts our conversation short, nods and yes, eats in her room.

What does she want? Is she just an attention wh*re? Trying to block me from dating others? I don't get it, she doesn't get anything out of this.

What should I do?

 

[YawataNoKami]

She is an attention ***** just move on. And get rid of toxic people in your life.

 

[Speculator E]

You're analyzing way too much. If she's interested, ask her out for a one-on-one date/activity. If she decline or make excuses then withdraw attention.

 

[thatfeel]

Mhm. Bf is in another state dude. Make some moves. No girl is going to straight up tell you they want to dump or cheat on the guy. It's your move to man up and get her in the mind to do it "on accident". Meaning, once she knows you mean business she might openly talk to you about what her game plan is.

 

[Skyline]

She only takes 20 minutes to get ready? My sister spends around 2 hours.

 

[El Payaso]

Attention wh0re.

 

[SgtSplacker]

This girl already thinks you're desperate because you are willing to be led along by a girl with a man that's getting piped by him regularly. She might see something she likes about you but this probably has her thinking you're a little beta right now. If you receive too much instruction, requests and orders from her she thinks your beta for sure. You're an orbiter man sorry to tell you this, you are only there for her validation. I'd cut her off immediately and go game other women, this is a mess you live with a girl that is gaming you successfully. You have to stop this crap immediately, take the attitude that if she's not on your balls then she's not worth a moment of your attention.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Had a similar situation few years ago, I believe she pretty much considered me a pet, not even an orbiter.

She hugged me near her boyfriend or made joke about how she was gonna invite me for dinner or some other bull****, needless to say it was plain attention whoring.

It needed many days for me to realize then one day she said something like "too bad Im taken otherwise you would have a shot" then laughted heavily, I replied that her bf was my friend and I dont steal STUFF from my friends.

Being considered an object helped to bring her back to earth and stop her games.

So yeah, she has probably zero interest in you and an even lower consideration of your worth, she probably didnt even acknowledge you as a sexual being, so I suggest you listen to the guys above.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Idk guys. Y'all are saying she's an AW, but the crazy broad does cook for him. What woman cooks for a guy who isn't hers? Sounds like interest to me.

I personally think that she is getting tired of you not making a move. Fvck her already, then again, and then some more if you want to lol. Then leave her whenever you feel like doing so.

 

[hop On hop Off]

Thanks to everyone. I see a lot of Master DJ, Senior DJ, Mods are here to help. That's one thing I appreciate about this place.

I often hear a girl is acting cold to a guy in public, but nice to him in private. She doesn't want him, she is playing games. I am dealing with the opposite.

I am confused what she wants from me. Be her bf? She's got one, we know. Be her slave? I already drive everyone in the house everywhere, I don't even care about. There's no need to manipulate me, I'm pretty chill to people I live with.

Tonight, she singles me out again to drink soup that she cooked while not offering other roommates. This morning, I didn't have to cook, I asked to give me something from her fridge, she did it without a second thought.

But yes, she wants me to help her car shopping this weekend. I would help a friend, guy or girl. She should know that I'm a chill roommate by now.

For now, I won't ask her out in any way or by any means. Even if things work out, it's not legit dating. However, I will continue flirting along, just have fun. See where it takes us.

 

[hop On hop Off]

Maybe my question "What does she want from me is silly?" is not a good one.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/girl-change-mind-so-fast.229503/
This thread tells me:

"Don't try to make sense of out woman...By the time a girl breaks it off with you, she has already thought about leaving a hundred times. Just accept it, and move on."​

Instead of analyzing what she wants from me, why not stop analyzing, keep on flirting, and have fun.

 

[gravityeyelids]

"Into me in public, cold in private?" It sounds like literally the exact opposite is true. She's doing what any normal girl would do when her BF is over by NOT hitting on her roommate when he's there. And when he's gone she's being a little flirty and doing whatever because she doesn't have to worry.

My 2 cents? She has a good time with you and maybe is attracted to you but more than likely just sees you as a fun roommate/friend. When a girl treats you like a friend when she has a BF that she cares about, then you're not in the friend zone, but you effectively are while they're together. Ive been attracted to girls while in a relationship but I treat those girls as friends because i respect the relationship and won't cheat. Basically IMO you're probably in the friend zone even if she's attracted to you because she's not going to cheat with you. If she hasn't been touchy feely with you then you're probably reading too much into it and have a crush on her.

What are you looking to get out of this? If you're looking to get laid than all you have to do is what college kids have been doing for decades: get drunk with her and make it so you are within two feet with her and then a makeout may occur. But I wouldn't advise it.

If you go for her, the most likely scenarios are as follows:
1) you DO hookup and it causes: mad drama and/or a punch to your face courtesy of the BF
2) she rejects you and it causes anything from moderate awkwardness to a destroyed friendship

Just play it cool, be respectful, and maybe if there's something there, you can explore it down the line when you two are in possibly the worst circumstances for getting into something (I.e.: living together and her having a BF)

 

[nismo-4]

AFAIC She's an attention wh0re. Loves you like crazy when her bf is away. Why? Because she needs her attention from someone. And she's roping you in. You are deep in the friendzone. While she cooks for you, she is fantasizing about what position her bf will bang her in when he gets back.

The above post is pretty good. If I were the bf, and you tried your luck, I might knock your ass out if I don't get tamed.

Oh, if you get rejected, she will be taken back because she only saw you as a beta friend/ orbiter/ attention provider.

Go for another girl that has actual interest in you. Sexually. For your own sake.

Case closed.