Girl tries to make me out to be unreasonable

[Blazing]

Hey all, I kinda took a break from this forum to get my chit together the last few months (and I have!)

But Im super curious as to your opinion on this

So this last week was not only valentines day (who cares) and my birthday. Anyways the girl I've been seeing said she was going to spend the night then at the last second says she needs to help her roommate with homework but it doesn't take a full night to do that christ.

Now I've dated this girl a couple years prior so it's kind of FB situation and she does junk like this all the time she's full of excuses. So knowing this I'm not going to deal with this.

So the next day I see her and I basically completely ignored her as I walked by....told her I gave her a chance and she blew it.

So she sends this huge text about how her life didn't revolve around me (even though this is literally just about her not doing what she said she'd do) and that she didn't blow it I did....(lol).

Obviously I didn't reply but still....

Do I just ignore this chick until she realizes she messed up? I'd like to keep the FB thing going she's a cool chick to have around but I'm not dealing with all these excuses that will inevitably come up if I let her get by with it. If I fukd up feel free to point it out in obnoxious fashion

 

[adam225]

Yep, just ignore her. It's as simple as that. It sound like she has low interest in you. From now, make her put all the effort in. If she doesn't then.... O well, no loss....

 

[Nickface]

Yea I would literally never initiate another conversation with this girl again. Have her reach out to you and let her dictate the terms of any meetup. If she comes up with small talk, act indifferent and give one word answers.

 

[Blazing]

Eh as far as low interest she's the one that wanted us to be "together" I was fine doing my own thing. The whole fb thing is all her.

But either way not texting or contacting I know how she is. She wouldn't reply and be like "I'm in control now"

Oh well have another chick coming down next weekend she isn't the only girl in the world

 

[Bible_Belt]

So the next day I see her and I basically completely ignored her as I walked by....told her I gave her a chance and she blew it.

Doesn't that part sound catty and chick-like?

Having hurt feelings is fine and normal. Showing your hurt feelings is another issue entirely, especially with passive-aggressive behavior like that. You have a right to be mad, but the way you handled it doesn't make it any easier to fvck her next time.

 

[Blazing]

In hindsight you have an excellent point. But there's nothing I can do about that now. Given the text she sent she probably wasn't going to acknowledge she was in the wrong whatsoever. She even had one of those "Nothing I do is good enough for you" parts.

I'm getting better at not showing when Im pissed but alot of the time I'll literally lose my chit if I don't express to whoever how pissed I am. Usually it's string of angry texts but Ive stopped myself from doing that. Sooooo anyone have any suggestions on how to control their anger..meditation...anything?

Like when it happens I literally just feel my heart pounding can't concentrate can't sleep. Still trying to figure out a way to deal with it

 

[DragonBlood]

Sooooo anyone have any suggestions on how to control their anger..meditation...anything?

You dont "control" anger once its already got a hold on you, you have to release it.


Write your angry texts into a word document to get them out of your head. Sleep on it. In the morning read them again from a now neutral standpoint and try not to cringe lol. This is important as now that youve recorded your thoughts you wont be so pre-occupied trying to hold onto them. Much like writing a shopping list instead of trying to hold all that info in your head until you get to the shop. Free your mind of the hamster.

Doing a work out is also a great way to cool off your emotions, I cant express how much of a difference this makes in clearing your thinking before coming to a decision. Meditation is over-rated. The main problem is you have too much stagnate energy and its causing all sorts of problems.

 

[Blazing]

You dont "control" anger once its already got a hold on you, you have to release it.


Write your angry texts into a word document to get them out of your head. Sleep on it. In the morning read them again from a now neutral standpoint and try not to cringe lol. This is important as now that youve recorded your thoughts you wont be so pre-occupied trying to hold onto them. Much like writing a shopping list instead of trying to hold all that info in your head until you get to the shop. Free your mind of the hamster.

Doing a work out is also a great way to cool off your emotions, I cant express how much of a difference this makes in clearing your thinking before coming to a decision. Meditation is over-rated. The main problem is you have too much stagnate energy and its causing all sorts of problems.

Thanks!

That sounds like great advise to me. I'll have to start doing that

 

[devilkingx2]

the way you wrote the story here sounds like an overreaction, but since you claim that she has a history of this that you glossed over then I'd say screw her, next her for good.

 

[Blazing]

Well it happened two other times the same week. Once she was sick and the other time just fell asleep which neither time did I get mad. She did surprise me with a card she made and we ate lunch together for my birthday.

It was more the "I'm helping my roommate with homework the entire night eventhough I told you I'd be coming to see you."

That's not being sick or passing out at the end of the day. That's just being disrespectful

 

[rascal99v]

What's the purpose of a fvck buddy? So, you can fvck her right? If you're not getting the fvcks, then there's no need in having her around.

You should care less about a fvck buddy. She is there to provide you a simple service. If she doesn't perform that service, she should be gone. Why have a fvck buddy who won't fvck you? That defeats the purpose. Doesn't it? You are showing her that you care way too much. Once feelings are shown, these chicks will bail on you.

I have two types of fvck buddies myself. I have the "go to" chicks whom I fvck when I call them. Then I have the rovers who call me when they want to get fvcked. These women I don't have any contact with. I just let them come to me when they want to get laid. These chicks hook up randomly or cheat on their boyfriends. They provide the service I want without any bullsh1t that goes along with it. If I was hitting those chicks up for sex, I would have a situation just like you. To play the game right, you need to play chicks differently. But it's all the same because you're getting what you want out of them.

I would go stone cold with this chick. Let her come to you for the fvcks. You're spending to much time on this chick. Anytime you work more to get laid, you are going to fail. You are working too hard for this chick's pvssy. She knows it. She's giving you the excuses because of it. Fvck buddies don't deserve this much amounts of time to be spent on. Scale it back dude.

Fvck buddies are not your girlfriend. You use them when you can That's why it's always important to have other women in the picture. You fvck the other women too so you don't exhaust the benefits of one of the chicks you're banging.

 

[Thundernuts]

Op you said she did that twice this week before all this happened.

Are you the one doing all the contacting or is this girl saying she is gonna do these things and then she cancels at the last second.

 

[Thundernuts]

So the next day I see her and I basically completely ignored her as I walked by....told her I gave her a chance and she blew it.

That is not ignoring at all. That is called being a titty-baby.

 

[Blazing]

I know I was lol. Not much I can do about it now. Idk the best course of action I'll probably just ignore her until she breaks it. We have class together so she'll break down pretty quick.

Last week it was twice she said she'd be coming to see me. One time she texted that she was super sick. The other time she said she'd be over after her night class then when that time rolls around texts that she has to help her friend with homework.

But as an above poster said she kinda wants to have a relationship so it's not just a standard fb. But it's turning into way too much effort. Not when I have other chicks who require less effort to fvck. I obviously let my emotions get the better of me when I was pissed