Girl thinks I'm quiet

[RIDER]

Several girls I've met have commented that I'm "quiet". Should I be concerned by these comments - do women consider this a character flaw?

My honest explanation is just that I dont really like talking about absolute BS, small talk just doesn't appeal to me. If theres a half-decent discussion going on I am always there and contribute significantly

If you're out on a date and a girl asked you why you're so quiet what would you say?

 

[Charm Artist]

Originally posted by RIDER
Several girls I've met have commented that I'm "quiet". Should I be concerned by these comments - do women consider this a character flaw?

My honest explanation is just that I dont really like talking about absolute BS, small talk just doesn't appeal to me. If theres a half-decent discussion going on I am always there and contribute significantly

If you're out on a date and a girl asked you why you're so quiet what would you say?

That's not exactly a good thing, if several girls told you, you're quiet. In my opinion they're trying to open up to you and get you to talk but you don't want to. Pay attention. Listen to her, you don't have to talk about the sun stars and moon. Believe it or not, most of the time the girls will do the talking, all you do is ask questions and listen. If small talk doesn't appeal to you... suck it up cause you're gonna have to do it no matter what. Think of it this way, you're not gonna find a girl where EVERYTHING you two talk about is going to be decent. That's the way females are, and it'll even go as far as you two arguing about what color the sky is one day or somethin similiar.


Open up, talk about BS, besides it's just what us guys do anyway, we shoot the ****. If i was on a date and a girl asked me why i was so quiet, i'd tell her, "i dont like talking about bs, small talk doesn't appeal to me, and i only contribute to a decent discussion" -- sarcasm but you see my point, that'll turn a girl off in a heartbeat. The point is, she shouldn't even be askin you that Good luck...



Charm Artist

 

[medjaun]

I get the same thing and like you I'm not that good with BS talk. I realize though you you do have to suck it up and learn how to, its just a social skill needed if you want success.

 

[RIDER]

Thanks guys

Any tips or links you guys can recommend to me? It probably doesn't seem like a big deal to most of you but I really need help with this.

In my last situation with a girl (first date) I kept the convo around her but she kept expecting me to reciprocate with long stories about myself - I can't talk about myself so I gave out short answers which she then turned around and said makes me "quiet".

You think I should just rehearse some long-winded stories and bring them up next time? The problem isn't with conversation in general - its specific to talking about ME. She keeps digging and I can't think of what to say

 

[isotope]

you dont need to 'rehearse' stories about yourself
if she specifically asks you about yourself, then you have to break the rule (that you focus on her)... because look at it this way: she's really interested in you and she wants information about you to decide how much she likes you.
if you dont tell her anything aobut you, she will never trust you

and if you are quiet because you dont like the BS/ small talk, then YOU be the one to steer the conversation into some area that you do find interesting.

I would suggest reading "Talking the winners way" for basic nuts and bolts of how to hold a conversation. Or read the DJ bible on conversation.

and yeah the other posters were right that it is a necessary social skill. Like beer, you just have to learn to love it.