Girl tells me she needs time to heal from a previous relationship, bs or the truth?

[Scion]

The girl I asked out through an email (I talked about it in my so-called FR) send me a message back. She didn't want to go out. She did thank me for the offer a couple times (though that doesn't mean anything, she could just be nice). The one thing I'm not sure of is when she said she needs a little healing time (hanging out with her girlfriends, working on herself and her career). What do you guys think? Either way I'm not gonna pursue this girl for now. I may flirt with her a bit and otherwise be friendly. Thanks for your thoughts guys.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Don't flirt with her. She basically rejected you at the party, then just rejected you again in the E-mail. You can't keep trying bud, you're probably starting to come off as clingy to her.

If you do stay in touch with her, just be friendly. But I'd wait to contact her again for a little while.

It seems as if you need some things to occupy your mind away from the ladies so you don't feel so compelled to contact her so often.

If I may ask, what are your hobbies? And how much time do you dedicate to them?

 

[Scion]

I'm not planning on contacting her again for a while. But I do see her semi-regularly, though I don't think I'll run into her for a couple weeks (a week and a half at the earliest).

As for hobbies, don't have tons of time or money for hobbies. I used to practice martial arts but eventually I didn't have the time for it anymore. Now most of my time not spent working (both school and work) is just spent relaxing. Hanging out with friends once or twice a week, reading a book, watching a movie, etc. I think you get the point.

I don't actually spend tons of time concentrating on the ladies, usually I approach while out with my friends or just when I'm going about my day to day life.

Edit: Went over my 10 posts. Maybe your right horaholic. I don't know, I do know her boyfriend broke up with her less than 2 weeks ago so maybe it's not total bs. And I know she did take it hard. That's the only reason I'm not sure if she's not interested or she just has her own **** to deal with. Obviously my actions would be slightly different in those 2 situations.

 

[horaholic]

Its BS. It always is. There may be a grain or two of truth to it, but if Brad Pitt asked her out, I'll bet the farm she will be magically healed, and ready.

She means she isnt ready for anything with YOU, so dont think about 'giving her time' and all that crap.

 

[F!DELITY]

Its BS. It always is. There may be a grain or two of truth to it, but if Brad Pitt asked her out, I'll bet the farm she will be magically healed, and ready.

She means she isnt ready for anything with YOU, so dont think about 'giving her time' and all that crap.

exactly! don't be suprised if you see her with some other guy in the not so distant future!

 

[jophil28]

I don't know, I do know her boyfriend broke up with her less than 2 weeks ago so maybe it's not total bs. And I know she did take it hard. That's the only reason I'm not sure if she's not interested or she just has her own **** to deal with. Obviously my actions would be slightly different in those 2 situations.[/B]

OK so lets suppose that she did take it hard. That means that she is still hurt and angry and is in no condition to shift her affections over to you ( even if she wanted to )
So your reactions to her should be exactly the same in both scenarios.
Why? Because she is saying and acting in ways that indicate LOW interest level in you - very low. And it may never increase- never .
You guys need to quit trying to figure out WHY some women act with indifference toward you. Shift your thinking a little - it does not really matter what petty drama she is going though or WHY she is not reacting well to your mighty "game" (there be always be drama with women and there will always be women who just do not like you )
What matters is that she is not climbing mountains to be with you.

Now lets convert all this into a strategy ....here it is -

"Only pursue, contact or date women who are showing strong signs of interest in doing the same with you.."

BTE, read the last part of my signature.

 

[Nutz]

Its BS. It always is. There may be a grain or two of truth to it, but if Brad Pitt asked her out, I'll bet the farm she will be magically healed, and ready.

She means she isnt ready for anything with YOU, so dont think about 'giving her time' and all that crap.

Bingo. You don't make her gina tingle enough. That's all there is to it. She could honestly think "she's not ready", but if some guy comes around like Brad Pitt or whatever I guarandamntee you she'd be all for it and over the ex in a heartbeat.

 

[Scion]

"Only pursue, contact or date women who are showing strong signs of interest in doing the same with you.."

Well, I have an issue with this because for the most part no woman shows any interest in me.

 

[DonGorgon]

BS she just does not like you.. women F who they want..

 

[Scion]

BS she just does not like you.. women F who they want..

fine, she doesn't like me, I'll break all contact with her. So now I'm back at square one, which is figuring out why women don't like me, help with that would be great!

 

[Brighty]

Well, just because a girl says she needs time to heal from a previous relationship doesn't always mean its just an excuse. My current girl was hesitant about getting involved with me, despite consistently hooking up with me, because her last boyfriend was a horrible person. Like, abusive. I pray that I get a chance to meet him one day and he gives me one little reason to beat the living **** out of him. Better yet, I'll videotape it and put it on SoSuave. But it ended up working out and now we're together.

Anyway, the point is is that it's all relevant. Is she still giving you IOIs? Have you guys been hooking up? Flirting? You have to look at the big picture, not just the fact that she says she needs time.

 

[horaholic]

Read the DJ bible. Problem solved. Tomorrows friday. Go out, have fun, talk to women, be flirty, and expect NOTHING. You're problem with women is likely caused by neediness due to a scarcity mindset, so go out and play the numbers game. All it takes is a couple women flirting back to give you a much needed confidence boost.

And trust me, its better to be back at square one, than wasting your time pursuing unavailable women. Also, you'd be surprised at how fast they come running to you after you cut contact sometimes.

you'll be fine. The more you realize you dont need women, the more attracted to you they are. I know thats easy to say, but its really is true. Wake up every morning and be thankful for the life you have, and pursue your own interests.

And Brighty, if you read Jophil's post, your point is covered. Excuse or not, its a red flag to get away. The OP will likely get too attached even if she gives up some rebound poon anyway.

 

[Scion]

Read the DJ bible. Problem solved. Tomorrows friday. Go out, have fun, talk to women, be flirty, and expect NOTHING. You're problem with women is likely caused by neediness due to a scarcity mindset, so go out and play the numbers game. All it takes is a couple women flirting back to give you a much needed confidence boost.

And trust me, its better to be back at square one, than wasting your time pursuing unavailable women. Also, you'd be surprised at how fast they come running to you after you cut contact sometimes.

you'll be fine. The more you realize you dont need women, the more attracted to you they are. I know thats easy to say, but its really is true. Wake up every morning and be thankful for the life you have, and pursue your own interests.

And Brighty, if you read Jophil's post, your point is covered. Excuse or not, its a red flag to get away.

Yeah, I've read the DJ Bible (said so in my introduction post, don't know if you read it, in which case here it is http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=167227).

I wish I could go out tomorrow night but unfortunately I'm working, it's **** I know but I need the money. I am going out Sat night, albeit I'm going out with a girl to catch up. Could always approach and meet women then, I doubt the girl I'm with will mind too much seeing as she has a boyfriend (though I shouldn't ignore her either; and don't ask me why I'm going out with a taken girl, it was her idea to go out drinking alone).

And yeah, my problem is probably because I don't have any other women in my life. But it kinda sucks that to get a woman I need other women already in my life, kinda like how to get a job you need experience but you can't get the experience without the job.

 

[DonGorgon]

fine, she doesn't like me, I'll break all contact with her. So now I'm back at square one, which is figuring out why women don't like me, help with that would be great!

You need 7 numbers to get at least 1 lay.. so each week you need to get 7 new numbers and work on them. as you build up a team of women you will stop obsessing over 1 and begin to attract more cause you will have confidence and indifference which is what women love..

 

[Scion]

You need 7 numbers to get at least 1 lay.. so each week you need to get 7 new numbers and work on them. as you build up a team of women you will stop obsessing over 1 and begin to attract more cause you will have confidence and indifference which is what women love..

dude, I've gotten MUCH more than 7 numbers from women in my life yet I'm still a virgin. Not saying anything your saying is wrong, because it sounds solid. But that's obviously not the answer for me.

 

[DonGorgon]

dude, I've gotten MUCH more than 7 numbers from women in my life yet I'm still a virgin. Not saying anything your saying is wrong, because it sounds solid. But that's obviously not the answer for me.

call them after 11 and ask them to come chill at you r house.. 10% of them will do it..

 

[Scion]

call them after 11 and ask them to come chill at you r house.. 10% of them will do it..

no they don't dude. That's my problem, I can never turn any of these numbers into anything more than maybe a couple of texts. If I ask them to do anything with me they ignore me. And that's the small percentage of girls that will even respond to my calls/texts. Lots of girls just ignore when I try and contact them and all I get is there vmail (or in the case of a text I never get a response). I'm actually surprised I got a response from the girl I made this thread about, I was mostly expecting her to ignore it and act all awkward around me.

 

[DavenJuan]

Yeah, I've read the DJ Bible (said so in my introduction post, don't know if you read it, in which case here it is http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=167227).

I wish I could go out tomorrow night but unfortunately I'm working, it's **** I know but I need the money. I am going out Sat night, albeit I'm going out with a girl to catch up. Could always approach and meet women then, I doubt the girl I'm with will mind too much seeing as she has a boyfriend (though I shouldn't ignore her either; and don't ask me why I'm going out with a taken girl, it was her idea to go out drinking alone).

And yeah, my problem is probably because I don't have any other women in my life. But it kinda sucks that to get a woman I need other women already in my life, kinda like how to get a job you need experience but you can't get the experience without the job.

first off, its NOT the same as needing job experience vs. job before experience scenerio.

IMO, you are your biggest enemy. everything you say and do is self defeating.

Whatever it is that you think you know is WRONG, if you dont believe me, look at it this way... you are still a virgin. and if you really understood WHY, you wouldnt be a virgin anymore.

why are you hanging out with women in relationships? what is it possibly that you could gain from this? better question is, why are women in relationships haning out with YOU?

there are women EVERYWHERE. you cannot go out and NOT run into a woman. The idea isnt to gain female friends brother, so stop being so friendly and go for what you really want

Originally posted by Scion
So now I'm back at square one, which is figuring out why women don't like me, help with that would be great!

you wanna know why women dont like you..?

BECAUSE YOU ARE THEIR FRIEND. they dont need anymore friends brother. stop being nice and worrying about what they think of you. whatever they think of you cannot be any worse than what your left with right now, which is nothing

Originally posted by Scion
I'm actually surprised I got a response from the girl I made this thread about, I was mostly expecting her to ignore it and act all awkward around me.

you are what you think. when this is your expectation with any given action, then you will NEVER get more from it than what you expect. have more respect for yourself. realize you deserve better, you have more to offer than you realize.

the world is truly your oyster. take what you want, and make no apologies. be selfish, because i can tell you, know one else cares

 

[Solomon]

Damn

Jophill I just put that

"Only pursue, contact or date women who are showing strong signs of interest in doing the same with you.."

^^as my facebook tagline as reminder to myself

DG spitting that numbers game venom
Horaholic I'm loving your posts these days keep it up brother
Mr Juan doing his thing as usual

Nothing for me to add on, the vets got this covered

peace

 

[Scion]

first off, its NOT the same as needing job experience vs. job before experience scenerio.

IMO, you are your biggest enemy. everything you say and do is self defeating.

Whatever it is that you think you know is WRONG, if you dont believe me, look at it this way... you are still a virgin. and if you really understood WHY, you wouldnt be a virgin anymore.

why are you hanging out with women in relationships? what is it possibly that you could gain from this? better question is, why are women in relationships haning out with YOU?

there are women EVERYWHERE. you cannot go out and NOT run into a woman. The idea isnt to gain female friends brother, so stop being so friendly and go for what you really want



you wanna know why women dont like you..?

BECAUSE YOU ARE THEIR FRIEND. they dont need anymore friends brother. stop being nice and worrying about what they think of you. whatever they think of you cannot be any worse than what your left with right now, which is nothing



you are what you think. when this is your expectation with any given action, then you will NEVER get more from it than what you expect. have more respect for yourself. realize you deserve better, you have more to offer than you realize.

the world is truly your oyster. take what you want, and make no apologies. be selfish, because i can tell you, know one else cares

well obviously everything I know and do is wrong. But can you tell me how to fix it? Because that's what I need. Anything less than that won't help me.

And I actually have zero female friends, though I do have female acquantances. I used to have an actual female friend but our friendship ended once she got with her current bf, now we barely talk.

Honestly I don't know what to do to fix my problems with women, and that's why I started posting here.