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girl likes me but says she's not ready?

non-toxic

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so i met this girl in my school who is 17. i got her to like me, and we were together for 3 days. but then on the fourth day she says "i've been thinking for a while now... i'm just not emotionally ready for a relationship." what the hell. first thing that came to mind was "ok i did something wrong, this is the classic excuse to break up without too much pain." but then i started second guessing, because she's really small (like 4 foot 10) and just the whole feel of her is that of a 14 year old (like you know that phase in growing up, where sexual jokes become the center of everything funny, and later on it starts to tone down a little? she's still laughing really hard at "thats what she said" or whatever.), and she recently started breaking out in acne which is a clear sign she is starting to grow.

anyway my point is, i'm assuming she was telling the truth about not being emotionally ready, but she still gives me indications of interest which makes me think she still is attracted to me. i've clearly developed a case of one-itis and its screwing my emotions over.

so now i have two options, i can either try to go more slowly with her and make her feel unpressured to do anything until she's ready, or i go through the long process of getting over her. what really ticks me off is that other than her immaturity, she is fricken perfect for me; she's smart, cute, funny, small, takes half my classes, and i just so happen to be moving to where she lives next month. even my best friend lives next door to her best friend. =_=;; i'm afraid that if i let go now, she'll grow up in a few months and then i can never have her. but if i dont let go, i'm constantly being tortured by my one-itis. what should i do?
 

surfdog

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you should do a search on the forum and you'll find your answer...the questions are just getting a lil too repetitive lol...

anyway what you should do is start hanging out with other girls, flirt and have a good time..and let her know about it( best done by flirting with other girls infront of her..but don't over do it so she knows you're doing it on purpose to get her jealous..otherwise let her find out through a person other than you)

This will show her that you have other options, and that if she chooses not to be with you it will NOT affect you in anyway, She is just lucky that she is higher up on your 'long list of girls', and that it is her loss not yours and your life will be good with or without her.

This will also get her thinking...either she could keep using her immature excuse of not being ready and miss out on a potentially good relationship or she could be with you and be the luckiest girl in the world..

and if she still chooses not to be with you then she is not worth it man, move on. Plenty of fish in the sea ;)
 

ChapStick

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She's not ready to be in a relationship with YOU. I hate to break it to you man, but I wanna be straight up honest with you. You have fallen really hard for her and you have been together with her for just 3 days... I know it's gonna be hard for you man, but you're gonna have to let her go... If she comes back, then cool.. If she doesn't, then it won't matter because you will be out improving your life in every other aspect to make yourself an overall better man.

And I totally agree with what surfdog has to say... You are feeling this strong case of one-itis because you are lacking in options.. It is the cause of your disease.. Cure it!
 

non-toxic

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thanks for the great advice, i will definitely work on not being a pathetic heartbroken AFC. i've been self-inducing hypnosis to rid myself of emotions for her and some other hypnosis like six step reframe and screwing with my memories of her. it doesnt work well when i'm around her but it stops me from feeling totally drained when i'm alone, so i think i will be able to live through my one-itis until it goes away. thanks again =]
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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