Girl i'm with talks about ex....

Legend

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Alright heres my situation. I met this girl from school, everything has been going well for the past couple of months. We dated and hung out a lot. Got close. School has just ended and we both are back home. We are only like an hour apart, which sorta sucks in a way. I still want to talk to her and see her. She feels the same way. I just feel like if she does'nt see me anymore she's going to lose interest.

I dont know how to play my cards now that school is out. I have no clue what to do. I called her today and it seems like her ex bf which she has'nt dated for the past 2 years is still in her life. He helps her out and is always around. For example, shes getting a new car and he has a friend that sells cars. So shes getting the car thru him. So they are constantly talking to each other now....i dont know what to do. I felt like i'm going to lose her. She tells me its totally just friendship because she has known him her whole life. I'm still mad jealous though.....i try not to show it though.

What do i do? I dont act jealous but it really is starting to hurt. Should i just break things off and tell her i'll talk/see her in the fall? I dont want to lose this hot chick. Because i know if i tell her things should be over with, she will never let me get another peice of her.

-Any comments are welcomed. Thanks
 

Charm

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OK.

1. If you really want to see this girl, telling her you want to wait until the fall until seeing her is doing the opposite of what you WANT to do. DJ's live life the way they want to do, without fear of needing to conform. If you do the opposite of what you want because of fear of losing her then you have slipped into the world of the AFC.

2. There is nothing wrong with her having her ex-bf in her life. It may seem awkward, and it will require you to be ontop of your game, but it doesn't mean you can't have a good relationship with her. Get out of your mind that he is even an obstacle and focus on her. If she really likes you, she wont even consider him as a potential mate in the future as you will be all she can think about.

3. You need to spend time with this girl in person ASAP. Set up a date the next time you speak with her, watch a movie at your house and get close to her. Some KINO is going to be necessary here to rekindle any lost flames.

4. You can do this if you truly desire to and follow through on it. IF you make excuses for yourself, they will only lead you down the AFC path. Be a DJ and step up the plate and make this happen if you really want it to.

Good Luck.
 

sustainable007

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Next Her

You have to move on and forget about her...or she is going to burn you if she hasnt already...Girls who hold onto X's have issues...its an indicator that she is not sure of herself...Go find a HB land her number and spend time on women who are sure of themselves...

Heres the bottom line: What you're doing is AFC...Shes got the upperhand in this one and will continue too...Dont fight a losing battle...Move on...there are much finer women out there who are not dwelling on there past.
 

Quick

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I remember writing in your last post that pretending you were willing to leave her wasn't enough. You still aren't willing, so she has way too much control over you. The problem isn't her ex bf, although it's a distinct possibility that at least one of them is secretly hoping they get back together. The problem is that you're so focused on just her that every doubt is maximized and your fears control you. If you don't feel that you can trust her to stay true, then you need to look elsewhere for a relationship. If you have one-itis and stay true while watching her do questionable things, you'll be the victim until she finally leaves you for someone else.
 

pilot0001

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Next her:
But before that you might as well try some reverse psychology.
Except don't give'm the breakup song. Brag a little.
Then next them.
 

Legend

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Things were going so well too...i'm just not sure how to handle the whole summer thing with her. We both are working and have our own lifes. I'll play things by ear and see how they go i guess.

I dont want a relationship over the phone with her...thats very AFC. I dont like talking on the phone longer then 10 minutes. I dont know what is going to happen. I could see the both of us ending it.

We hung out Thursday and its only Saturday and i feel like things are over. The summer has'nt even begun and i already have negative thoughts.
 

bp1974

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You need to start listening to your gut instinct:

I just feel like if she does'nt see me anymore she's going to lose interest.
So you know she really isn't that interested. Or if she is and it's just your imagination that she's going to wander off, then your insecurity is going to make her less interested as time goes on.

If this is the same girl that you said was f*cking someone else as well as seeing you, then I'd get rid of her coz you have severe oneitis.

bp1974
 

Starman

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just a note..exboyfriends..are ex's for a reason...and its very rare that a ex..sparks the fire again with a girl..so I wouldnt worry too much about the ex..besides..the ex boyfriend sounds AFC..he is still clinging on to her , doing her favors, in hopes of winning her back

I mean think about it..would you redate any of your ex's? I know I dont ..its played out

I have no idea why you cant continue talking to her if she is only 1 hr away?

I had a 3 year relationship with a girl that lived 1 hr away from me..we would hang out mostly on the weekends and talk on the fone during the week..then she eventually moved to the city near me..

Just dont act jealous, or push her away by hinting at relationships..make her a bit jealous..keep phone conversations short, and just say lets hook up sometime..
 

Legend

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thanks for all the tips again. I'm going to give her a couple of days. I called her yesterday and talked for like 15 minutes. Got her laughing and then ended it. If she contacts me.....then i'll ask to hook up again with her. If she does'nt give me a call...then i'm moving on.
 
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