Girl hints at branch swinging to me... I act like an a$$hole?

[Argyle]

Girl sends me a text while hanging out with her ex (she's single right now; but obvious they still have feelings for each other)...

Says the past few days that they've hung out have been horrible. That she's bored. He's rude, selfish, etc. She can't stand him anymore.

My natural DJ reaction was that I didn't want to be the nice guy who was her emotional tampon while the boy she was with was a jerk while (physically) around her... so I wasn't in the best of moods, didn't give her that beta vibe.

In fact, I was a bit of an arse to her. She was insulted. I do not supplicate. How much would this impact a girl's decision to branch swing / branch FLING?

After analyzing it in my head now... maybe I pushed that branch swinging Jane away from my Tarzan?

Doubting that decision to be a bit of a jerk now. In hindsight, maybe I should have shown her some beta traits, the exact opposite of her ex?

Any input from you master DJ's would be appreciated. I think I'm so scared to show vulnerability that I put on a jerk facade a majority of the time. At the same time, I don't like showing that nice side via text. Too much room for misinterpretation.

 

[SecondHalf]

Hey Argyle,

I've read your post and my impression is ... way to calculated.

Game works on the weak (lacking grey matter, or arrogant), but for the bright woman, you need ... real confidence and indifference (must be natural, hard to fake).
I.E. If she doesn't like you, it's because she's lacking, or truly wants something different (a 4'3" pigmy perhaps ... who knows, who cares!).

Since I've went on sabbatical, and have worked on my interests, the women I have brushed up against, have went a little loco at my indifference. They smell they have no power over me and it makes them crazy. Fact is, this phase in my life is really interesting

In summary ... my gut says you're not being yourself, and the women needs "yourself" to be ... quite together.

SH

 

[blindnowisee]

I second that SecondHalf (pun not intended ;-)

Your use of the phrases "natural DJ reaction", "emotional tampon", "to be a bit of a jerk" etc implies that you're always acting a part. You're either acting like a jerk, acting like a don juan, acting like an alpha and contemplating whether you should be acting like a beta.

Stop acting.

Life is too short for acting.. being interesting, being aloof, being XYZ.. it's not like you're actively thinking to yourself "How can I portray myself to be interesting/aloof/XYZ?" You just are..

Once you hit that point it will all come to you. Focus your energy on getting to that point.

On topic:
Why would you want a branch swinger anyway? Set some boundaries.. tell her that she needs to sort out her issues with her bf. Whilst she has a bf you're not interested ORRRRRRRRR you tell her you're not interested in her troubles and that she should just come over and bang her silly..

 

[Aristippus]

I mentioned this type of "ex" in another topic yesterday. He isn't a regular ex. He's one of 2 different classes that are separate from a regular ex. He is either an ex where things either ended on friendly terms or where they were open to friendship later, or he is the on-again-off-again boyfriend. This is the situation where they break up and then get back together, then break up and get back together, and this continues over and over.

The on-again-off-again boyfriend can be in the breakup PHASE of the cycle, and can be temporarily referred to as an ex, but then they get back together. You're putting him in the same class as an ex that is completely cut off and has no social contact with her. If this were the case, they wouldn't be hanging out at all.

Also, I think this woman is a waste of time. You shouldn't be hanging around waiting for a woman to "branch swing" as you put it. Just find women who have very high interest and can't wait to spend time with you and be around you.