Girl got left by her bf, wants to meet me to hug

lizardking82

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She told me about it a couple of days ago, we chatted for about two hours on and off. Today she wants to meet me for a hug, specifically said "I don't want sex, just hugging..." In my experience, this is a lay situation, but how do you say I play this? She looks hurt from her boyfriend leaving her just out of the blue.

P. S - She now added "I turn to you because you seem like a guy with character and integrity that would not exploit a girl's moment of weakness."
 
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ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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I don’t want to like your post and not reply to it, so I’ll give you my thoughts lol.

If you have some really tight game, zero mistakes, and play it perfectly, you can probably pull. Thing is though, that’s incredibly hard to do unless you’ve been in much more difficult scenarios, and if this wasn’t an issue, you probably wouldn’t be asking us. I think it’s still an incredibly volatile situation in the sense that she will be looking to see what you will do—try and be comforting towards her, or play her just for the lay. She’s more aware of your actions since she said:
I turn to you because you seem like a guy with character and integrity that would not exploit a girl's moment of weakness.
It’s pretty funny when you think about it tbh because exploiting her is exactly what we are trying to do. It’s almost like she secretly wants you to...

Like I said before, it’s incredibly volatile. You can’t be regular aggressive like how you would be under normal circumstances, but at the same time, there’s a fine line between being caring & empathizing, and being a ‘nice guy’. You gotta find that sweet spot by just testing it out. And you can’t remain there either. I’ve learned these past few months that with certain women, you have to know WHEN to fluctuate between being in that sweet spot vs being that aggressive alpha male type vs the cuddly type vs the normal dude type vs etc.

You might not even get the lay on the first try if you (pretend to?) care a little, but after the fact she will definitely feel like you aren’t just ‘another guy’ trying to use her. The more I think about it though, the more I believe that some part of her DOES want you. Try to bring that part of her out as well by making her think about you via your words. When you talk to her or ask questions regarding anything remotely intimate (if you somehow happen to be on topic), arrange your words in a way that will prompt her to think about you.

Also, the way you physically hold her and touch her (or any girl for that matter) will have a MASSIVE effect on how they feel about you. Just know this: if you get the lay, she will be really clingy to you for a long time and will love you to a point that you can’t really comprehend as a guy. If you hurt her, you will ruin her for the rest of her life, and she will in turn try to hurt and ruin every guy she ever meets after you. You will have messed up a whole bunch of guys just for one lay, and completely destroyed the life of a girl who just wanted to feel loved. Don’t ruin something that could have been great for someone else. Good luck brother, do your thing.
 

MoreThanSmooth

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Girls who have just come out of relationships suddenly (especially if they were cheated on) are usually f*cked in the head.

I've had girls be outright abusive to me just out of relationships, because they want to vent on me rather than their ex. If you're that desperate to get laid with a bag of crazy you can try it, but I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole until she's over her ex.
 

lizardking82

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Girls who have just come out of relationships suddenly (especially if they were cheated on) are usually f*cked in the head.

I've had girls be outright abusive to me just out of relationships, because they want to vent on me rather than their ex. If you're that desperate to get laid with a bag of crazy you can try it, but I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole until she's over her ex.
The implying some people here do...do you even follow my threads and posts? I have 5 girls on rotation, two being stable. Not desperate for anything, but doesn't hurt to ask.
 

MoreThanSmooth

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The implying some people here do...do you even follow my threads and posts? I have 5 girls on rotation, two being stable. Not desperate for anything, but doesn't hurt to ask.
It was a turn of phrase mate, I wasn't accusing you of being desperate.

In any case, if you have 5 girls, adding a girl with a powder keg for a brain is not your smart move here, that's all.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Repeat after me:

"Women are the real players, not men." x100

This is not some virgin girl with no experience, this is a girl looking to use men to dull the pain from the breakup.
Lol no. This is where your cynicism is kicking in. The real players ARE men. Always have been, always will be. There’s just less of said men. The best in the world are always men, no matter what. Women just commit to manipulation in ways that most men don’t. But world leaders are always men for a reason.
 

lizardking82

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I told her this "Hugging is an intimate situation. It might happen that I get turned on." She said something in the lines "No no no, we let it be. I should not have told you...."
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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There are much less of said men, while almost any woman with experience is capable of being a very severe player.

How can you not see how manipulative she is being towards him right now?
Yeah, because Albanian women are just as bad as US women. Totally.

Not all women are as bad as the ones here. You forget that.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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You're making everything really broad which shows that you don't really have the experience to diagnose this situation. I mean all the facts are right there in front of your face.

Do women use men as emotional tampons after a breakup or not? Do women enjoy sexually teasing men to get validated or not?
You look at things too linearly and cannot comprehend women much at all which is why you are so cynical and negative. I on the other hand actually can.
 

RangerMIke

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She told me about it a couple of days ago, we chatted for about two hours on and off. Today she wants to meet me for a hug, specifically said "I don't want sex, just hugging..." In my experience, this is a lay situation, but how do you say I play this? She looks hurt from her boyfriend leaving her just out of the blue.

P. S - She now added "I turn to you because you seem like a guy with character and integrity that would not exploit a girl's moment of weakness."
Anytime a chick mentions 'sex' even if she says "sex will not happen", all that it means is sex WILL happen if you don't screw it up.

Always assume when a woman reaches out to you she is expecting you to do something. The chick the OP is feeling vulnerable and uncertain. Depending on what you want you could make something happen. For me.... man.... I don't know what I would do about this because it all depends on what is going on in my life at the moment, how much I like her, and where I want the situation with this particular chick to go.

If you just want to keep her as a friend, then go ahead and meet her.... listen to all her problems... give her a hug... tell her everything is going to be fine, offer to introduce her to guys that she can date.... become a gay male girlfriend. There is nothing wrong with this... I have a few chicks that are 'friends' as much as a man can be a 'friend' to a woman. They are always nice to have around.

If you want to make this a relationship, then don't meet her. Tell her you like her and really don't want to meet her because you don't trust yourself. That you would be too tempted to take advantage of the situation... that she needs time to heal. Then thank her for reaching out and to reach out later when she thinks she might be ready to get back out there. There is no guarantee that she will reach out again, in fact... there is a better chance she won't then she will... because what will most likely happen is she'll go to the next number in her contact list and the next dude will just bang her and she'll find herself emotionally drawn into the same situation she just got out of.

If you just want to bang her, well this is easy. Get her out, tell her you just want to have fun. Let's forget about problems. Don't let her talk about her ex or relationship problems. Then read the situation, and if the opportunity comes up... go ahead and seduce her. Then see what happens if this develops into a FWB situation or casual dating. You might get her out and she won't go along with your agenda... if this happens just move onto the next one.
 

sazc

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I told her this "Hugging is an intimate situation. It might happen that I get turned on." She said something in the lines "No no no, we let it be. I should not have told you...."
IMO she wanted you to be her emotional tampon, during which she would have organically gotten validation.

She's thinking with her emotions and trying to feel good but she's being selfish about it. She's trying to get some attention and validation so she can feel better. She's not considering the fact that you are a man and, any physical contact is going to have an affect on you.

If she needs a hug, she needs to call her mom.
 

Who Dares Win

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Well a guy which bullet proof "game" and possibly jedi type powers could get laid out of that.

Dont know about you but Im not that good and given that scenario, I would drop it.

I believe she just needs validation to restore her self esteem and a guy that not only cuddle her but does it with the open idea of not getting anything out of it, simply does the trick.

In my life all the girls that said to me "we are not gonna do X" were not interested in doing X with me, wheter it was a one night stand or a walk in the park...also keep in mind the real golden rule that matter more than any trick or whatever game.

"An interested girl wont do anything to confuse, piss off or push away a man if she wants anything to do with him".
 

Macaframalama

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Something for nothing, nope. If you want to just be a genuine dude and empathize with her, expect nothing and do it for yourself. That is your reward, but sex may still be a possibility. I've got several women, from way back in the past, that will still turn to me after being in long relationships, because I keep it real with them and tell them what they don't want to hear. They've got a million girlfriends and chump dudes that will tell them exactly what they want to hear.

Don't be another one and coddle her ego. This is key to maintaining her respect of you and leaving the lane open for sex later. Keep sex in your back pocket and lead, from the front, even if it means blowing out the possibility of sex completely, by telling her the chit she doesn't want to hear. Relationship faults are NEVER one sided, so there will be plenty of opportunity to emphasize her mistakes, as well as emphathize with her. It's just the reality of the situation.

"Break her down, to build her up". I'm not saying bash her and be a d!ck, nor go digging for her faults. You are there to listen first. Normally, they will have been beaten down verbally, insecure and want to be reassured they are still found attractive.

Again, there are a million other dudes out there, that will do this at the drop of a hat for nothing in return. The man that prevails, is the one who isn't afraid to lead. Worst case scenario, you have lived aligned with your principles, been as good of a friend as you possibly could, while attempting to lead and have kept it genuine in the process. There's a whole slew of emotions here at play, as well as the opportunity to create positive ones.

Ranger Mike's plans of progression are good and I realize they are goal specific, but ime a man can be more diverse and you should take the opportunity to sharpen your teeth and be all of those things to her. Be her daddy, be her whole family.

"I'll be your daddy, I'll be your whole family." -Sir Too Short
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Has nothing to do with negativity at all, but actual practical advice from experience being in OPs position. You are using empty feminine shaming words to try to distract from your lack of experience. Btw when I was less exprienced and younger I probably would have gone for it because I didn't value my free time as highly... I have turned down far better offers these days because of the possibility of weirdness abd LMR going down.
No, you’re just rationalizing your cognitive dissonance that anything other than your reality cannot be a possibility. Hence why you’re using the same MGTOW/RedPill narrative that if you aren’t as cynical on women as someone else, that their arguments use ‘feminine shaming tactics’. Or bc I’m younger, I have ‘less experience’. Yeah okay buddy. When I was younger, I used to think like you currently do. But not anymore. Maybe there’s a reason for it? Food for thought
 

lizardking82

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She took it a bid badly saying "I think it's better we don't see each other bla bla bla" and then I told her "Hey, relax, chill out. I think you should have a good time in the way you like to have it" and then she turned the plates and said "OK, we see if me and you both have the time to meet one of these days" so she's up for it and now she knows my natural intent openly. I won;t force anything, but if I feel like it, I will go for it. If she holds back, I will not dump the situation right away, I wanna make it an example to learn, use it as an experiment.
 

flowtheory

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Never would I hangout with a woman just to hear her vent and use me after her ex broke her heart. There’s So many better uses of ones time; especially if you have 5 other women who are more fun waiting in the wings.
 

lizardking82

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Meh, fack her. Too much fuss, make me lose all the little desire I had so scratch it altogether.
 
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