girl going distant?

[evil_tomato]

Hi guys,
Im new here and have bit of a situation going.

I have been talking to this girl for 3 months and everything seems to be going great. im 24, shes 20. We have a lot in common, great chemistry and both head over heels for each other. We text and chat every day and have met up a couple of times and hit it off. She lives 6 hours away and i work everyday so its hard to see each other reguarly when were not busy with work. Anyway we are not "official" yet i havent asked her to be but am waiting for her to bring it up...

The problem? the last few days she has gone distant on me. Not texting me as much, not being as excited to talk to me as she usually is and yesterday i did not hear from her at all.....im usually the one initiating contact so it would be nice for her to do it for once...however im not sure what is going on or if i should be worried? She always tells me how crazy she is for me and to never leave her etc so i have no idea why she is being distant. i know she works alot but usually she'd still be in constant contact especially since she lives far from me....

What do you guys think? do i message her or wait for her to message me? Thanks so much

 

[RickR13]

Amazing how routine this is. 3 months, goes distant, over texting, if I only knew what I know now. Oh well, live, and learn I guess...

 

[JoeMarron]

A long distance monogamous relationship is always a bad deal so dont even bother with entertaining that. Plus youre the one always initiating which is just slowly eating away at any attraction she has for you. Dont message her at all. Carry on as usual if she initiates but other than that focus on other girls that dont live 1000 miles away. Oh and read your Bible. The link is at the bottom of the page.

 

[Purefilth]

^ in a nutshell
She's getting bored of you, and probably seeing another guy by now.

 

[lamobatsman]

you guys skype and chat or just text?
you should read my thread although different in some ways i think this is not worth it in any way. unless she starts making more of an effort i can see this turning out to be reli bad for you. see wat happens and if she continues to get distant and you can feel somethings not right and something has changed whatever you do DO NOT CALL HER OUT ON IT OR ASK HER WATS WRONG ETC?!!!

PUREFILTH may be right man. spin some plates and find someone closer to home

question: you guys arent offical but im guessing neither party is seeing anyone else or dating other guys? im guessing 3 months of talking and saying u both like each other we can safely assume this?

EDIT: has she said to you she has been busy the last few days hence why shes hasnt messaged u much? she has told you why she hasnt had much time to write you? no explanation from her?

 

[evil_tomato]

you guys skype and chat or just text?
you should read my thread although different in some ways i think this is not worth it in any way. unless she starts making more of an effort i can see this turning out to be reli bad for you. see wat happens and if she continues to get distant and you can feel somethings not right and something has changed whatever you do DO NOT CALL HER OUT ON IT OR ASK HER WATS WRONG ETC?!!!

PUREFILTH may be right man. spin some plates and find someone closer to home

question: you guys arent offical but im guessing neither party is seeing anyone else or dating other guys? im guessing 3 months of talking and saying u both like each other we can safely assume this?

EDIT: has she said to you she has been busy the last few days hence why shes hasnt messaged u much? she has told you why she hasnt had much time to write you? no explanation from her?

At the moment we are just text chatting/phone chatting, she doesnt have a computer. but as i said the last couple of days she hasnt been texting as much and yesterday nothing....i messaged her an hour ago to see how she was and nothing yet.

were both not seeing other people as we both want to be with each other even though shes 6 hours away, she promised me she was going to do what ever she had to, to make us work....however when ever i bring up meeting up again she always makes excuses like she cant get time off work etc which i dont get when she only works weekends and has weekdays free to hang....i dont want to lose her as i really do like her and shes a sweet girl but i dunno what to do?

 

[lamobatsman]

can you send us a link of the conversation the last few days? also for me it would be great help cos i was in a similar position.

 

[VladPatton]

What up, broski, welcome to SoSuave.

Ok, here's the deal. As a veteran and casualty of long distance relationships, I can truly say it is the most hopeless thing I have ever had...hope...for. The guy closest to the girl always wins. You can't compete with a guy who can just swing by and pick her up and go for coffee, or a Saturday night bang-a-thon. Just thought I'd throw that out first.

Now for your question. The reason she is acting distant can be one of many. Most likely, there is another guy trying to woo her into a relationship, and she is distracted by the whole newness of a shiny, glistening penis offered to her.

Let her contact you, don't act obsessive. Things can be on the out. WHat you should do is try and find a local girl for, your own sanity. You don't need this headache, trust me on this one. All you do is wonder what she is doing and why is she acting this way. Where can she be? Is she with someone? Does she not want me anymore? I wish I was closer to her!

You wait like Pavlov's dog for an email, a text, a phone call, just to brighten your entire day and make you feel better. Not good. YOU need to be in control, you're the guy.

All this you can do with a chick 10 mins from you. One you can actually SEE whenever you want.

Distance yourself as well, let this LD relationship fizzle out. I know it's harsh advice, but I didn't listen either, and one day l I got a call that turned my whole world to liquid shıt. Yeah, that call you dread. It's coming, it always does if you don't do it first.

Take caution, and good luck.

 

[evil_tomato]

ME: im doing well thanks, its really cold down here today so im just going to be chilling and watching movies.
HER: i need your cuddles babe, its cold here too.
ME: i want your cuddles too
HER: One day hun <3

ME: hi how you doing?
HER: im alright, ive been sleeping so much and i have work tonight!
ME: sucks! im just out to dinner with mates
HER: aww cute!

They have been my last two convos with her

 

[lamobatsman]

the conversations before im assuming a lot different and a lot more?? cud u possibly send an example of what it was like before?

i agree with vlad patton. im thankful i didnt get into the long distance even though i wanted to cos it wud have been painful. I was talking to this girl from another country and it slowly started to be like how urs was. i was waiting like Pavlov's dog waiting for an email/text to brighten up my day and make my day happy.

when ididnt hear from her from 2 days and she was replying cold messages to me or not even answering my messages properly i was thinking why and what and does she not want me anymore too?! i wish i was there with her too etc! and i wasnt even in a rship with her! imagine if i was?!! would have been too hard for me

you dont need this headache. i can assure you she aint losing sleep over this like you are! i was in a similar position.

find a local girl. listen to vladpatton! he knows wat he is tallking about.

EDIT: has anything physical happened between you two?

 

[VladPatton]

the conversations before im assuming a lot different and a lot more?? cud u possibly send an example of what it was like before?

i agree with vlad patton. im thankful i didnt get into the long distance even though i wanted to cos it wud have been painful. I was talking to this girl from another country and it slowly started to be like how urs was. i was waiting like Pavlov's dog waiting for an email/text to brighten up my day and make my day happy.

when ididnt hear from her from 2 days and she was replying cold messages to me or not even answering my messages properly i was thinking why and what and does she not want me anymore too?! i wish i was there with her too etc! and i wasnt even in a rship with her! imagine if i was?!! would have been too hard for me

you dont need this headache. i can assure you she aint losing sleep over this like you are! i was in a similar position.

find a local girl. listen to vladpatton! he knows wat he is tallking about.

I got fųckin Catfished on top of all that too, man. Never again, fųck that internet or LDR crap.

 

[lamobatsman]

catfished?

 

[VladPatton]

catfished?

Yeah man. When a girl lies to you about who she is over the net. There is a movie called "Catfish", check it out. It is now an MTV show as well. Crazy shıt.

 

[lamobatsman]

haha yes i heard about this. starts monday here in england. will watch it!
you ever meet her?

 

[VladPatton]

haha yes i heard about this. starts monday here in england. will watch it!
you ever meet her?

Hellz no! I went ghost before knowing the term "ghost"! Wanted nothing to do with online relationships after that.

 

[evil_tomato]

UPDATE: so she replied back and has been a bit chatty but still not a lot, not like she usually is....should i just go NC and wait till she initiates contact or should i say something??

no we havent scr3wed...just made out and stuff..i met her through friends and at the time we were just getting to know each other but i want to see her asap

 

[irocknike23]

1 of 2 things happened:
1)She found another dude that she actually gets to see and interact with in real life and she is loosing interest in you as a result. Just imagine if you started seeing a girl you are really clicking with and actually SEEING her on a weekly basis...you would probably loose interest as well in your long distance girl.

2)She came to a conclusion that the long distance thing aint gona work or her friends probably convinced her that long distance relationships almost never work out....in either case her or her friends are right....long distance relationships never work out. You need to actually physically see someone and talk to them face to face at least once a week for it to work. Having a long distance relationship is no different than having a pen pal in prison IMO..

 

[Valentino14]

6 hours away is too far to have a decent LTR.

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is in another castle. A closer castle at that. You're in World 1-4. She's in World 8-4. Sorry.

Case closed. Exit stage left.

 

[Larry Lurex]

Escalate to sexual texting NOW. Purefilth is right, she is getting bored of you.

Just do it. No need to thank me.