Girl flaked out on me TWICE but still shows MAJOR interest

[The Great One]

Okay fella, I am a bit lost on this one. Here is the story:

Met this girl from work. We chat a bit and I find out she lives a few towns over from me, about 25 minutes away. Leaving work two fridays ago I ask her what she is up to for the night and she says nothing. I tell her about a party my friend is throwing and invite her to come along. She seemed really excited about it and said she would call me when she got out of work (I left an hour before her). As the night goes by no phone call, no text, nothing. I don't text/call her and just enjoy my night.

I see her at work a few days later and she is EXTREMELY apologetic and says she got caught up doing something (I don't remember the exact excuse) and totally forgot. Then she tells me that we "have a date" for the coming friday and that she promises she won't forget this time. Last friday rolls around and SHE ASKS ME what we are doing. I tell her that I am throwing a party at my house and want her to come. Again she says she is definitely coming and will call me when she gets out of work. The night rolls by and nothing. No call, no text, nothing. Again, I don't bother texting her and I just enjoy my night.

Then the night after (Saturday) I was in her area and decided to shoot her a text to see what she was up to but got no response.

So yesterday I see her at work again and she apologizes for flaking and says that she just totally forgot again because her sister kept bothering her about some other plans for the night, but that I should go over to her town for some party that is going on this coming weekend. I told her that it's all up to her now cause I gave her two chances, and I won't be going out of my way anymore to hang out with her. She actually got pretty pissed when I said that and said "so what is the point of us even talking then?" but calmed down a few minutes later and we were all good.

So. It is obvious that she has some sort of interest, but it is getting pretty annoying trying to get her to hang out and I refuse to completely chase after her to spend some time with her. What should I do my fellow DJs??

 

[Jitterbug]

Flaking isn't showing "MAJOR" interest! Get your head straight!

This sounds familiar. She flaked on both occasions when the date was on your turf (your friend throwing a party, you throwing a party) but then invites you to hang out on her turf.

You've been here a while and probably read heaps. What do you think she's trying to do here?

 

[Four_Aces]

I have a 3 strikes policy. So if this happens again, drop it like it's hot.

Keep gaming her. Play through it. Then pull the plug if she continues to flake.

 

[slickaz]

i think this has to do with her coming your ways.

why dont you go over to her area and give it a shot?
she may be the shy type, or feels more comfy in her turf.
some girls get like that, they dont feel comfy coz they self conscious and feel like if they go over to a new place theyd be out of place.

maybe you should go over, check out her area get her comfortable around you,kclose or more and then have her come over.
whats even better is if you go pick her up and drive her to your place.
that way she'll know you're trustworthy enough to keep her happy and relaxed all night at a new place.

picking someone up or going over to party with them is not you showing her too much interest or putting her on a pedestal so its not AFC.
its just being open to new experiences and being friendly and courteous.

also you never know, you might go to her party and find her gf;s are HOTT and maybe get something from them instead..make her chase you more.lol

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Well, she apologized for not seeing you. Then, gets a little mad when you make it sound like your done trying to hang out with her. Could be a good sign or she is just a Attention wh0re...

I'd just wait for her to ask you now to hang out. If she is really interested in you she will make the date next time.

 

[bornyesterday]

Considering her past behavior it's not probable she will show up at the party herself. Second, you haven't established contact via phone yet. So if you get in the area or at the party you are still not sure you will be able to contact her.
If you're still interested and like to go to the party make sure you have her full commitment and not just some vague promise. It's not just about trying to get a date, it's about decent human behavior. Also make her pick up the goddamn phone.
It would suck to drive over there, you cant find the party, or cant find her at the party and she wont pick up the phone.

ps. How is she showing interest btw? Making apologies profusely or getting mad aren't IOI's afaik.

 

[TheRealSupreme]

Maybe since she obviously has the only brain between the two of you, she is smart enough to know the dangers of getting involved with people at work.

Obviously nobody on this board has educated you on the stupidity and folly of getting a crush on a attention ho at the job.

I realize it is hard for a symp at work when there is a female who knows how to get dummies all riled up and in love with them but your better than that.

The funny thing with this situation is that it has kind of backfired on the girl cause now your asking her out.

But she gets the pleasure of flaking on you -which builds up her attention hor ego even more.

If you get even more frisky towards her she can claim stress and sue the company for lots of money because she can lie and say you were sexually harrassing her and she is now afraid to go to work-that is if she starts to document you behavior and management doesn't do anything about it.

One of the girls that I knew from my past who actually had a legitimate case (she was 15 and a 30 something arab was buggin at her job for sex) and won over 100,000 dollars of which she bought me 2 cars, a trip to LA (disneyland) and clothes, food, apartment just to name a few. She was also given money for school (retraining) and some other perks just cause that guy tried to push up on her when she was working at Lyons resturants.

**** if I was smart I would have a group of females whom I could send to a job just to do shyt like this to rubes on the job, so that they can later sue and we can spend the doe...now that would be a fabulous con. But I am not into illegal things..oh well.

You keep chasing after a female at work and see what happens there fella. Not all women are scandalous but you should wake up and pay attention just to be safe.

 

[The Great One]

Considering her past behavior it's not probable she will show up at the party herself. Second, you haven't established contact via phone yet. So if you get in the area or at the party you are still not sure you will be able to contact her.
If you're still interested and like to go to the party make sure you have her full commitment and not just some vague promise. It's not just about trying to get a date, it's about decent human behavior. Also make her pick up the goddamn phone.
It would suck to drive over there, you cant find the party, or cant find her at the party and she wont pick up the phone.

ps. How is she showing interest btw? Making apologies profusely or getting mad aren't IOI's afaik.

That is why I said I'm not really interested in going out of my way. I would rather be hanging out with a bunch of friends by me and not care if she doesn't show. If I drove all the way over to her and she didn't show I would be pretty pissed.

As for the interest, it's all there. The flirting, kino, laughing at everything I say, always looking/smiling at me, etc. She even invited me out to her house in upstate NY to go skiing for a weekend but I already had made plans for that weekend :kick:

 

[Ganondorf]

The real supreme seems to know what he's talking about

Having dealt with a chick like this before, i can assure you that she's an AW

She shows interests an apologizes just to keep you chasing her to feed her ego or whatever convoluted purpose she has

atleast that's how it was for me anyway. the chick i dealt with, i coulda swore she wanted me nuts, but she never returned calls

she apologized and said she was busy and all that, but still continued to never return calls, WTF?

do yourself a favor. be very carefull with this one

 

[bornyesterday]

If the interest is there you should try a third time. But three strikes is out (its a rule to protect yourself against AW's). Dont know what else to tell you. You seem to be in control. What are you asking?

 

[Mr_Schlong]

Hi great one,

does it matter where you **** her?

 

[Smack]

Okay fella, I am a bit lost on this one. Here is the story:

Met this girl from work. We chat a bit and I find out she lives a few towns over from me, about 25 minutes away. Leaving work two fridays ago I ask her what she is up to for the night and she says nothing. I tell her about a party my friend is throwing and invite her to come along. She seemed really excited about it and said she would call me when she got out of work (I left an hour before her). As the night goes by no phone call, no text, nothing. I don't text/call her and just enjoy my night.

I see her at work a few days later and she is EXTREMELY apologetic and says she got caught up doing something (I don't remember the exact excuse) and totally forgot. Then she tells me that we "have a date" for the coming friday and that she promises she won't forget this time. Last friday rolls around and SHE ASKS ME what we are doing. I tell her that I am throwing a party at my house and want her to come. Again she says she is definitely coming and will call me when she gets out of work. The night rolls by and nothing. No call, no text, nothing. Again, I don't bother texting her and I just enjoy my night.

Then the night after (Saturday) I was in her area and decided to shoot her a text to see what she was up to but got no response.

So yesterday I see her at work again and she apologizes for flaking and says that she just totally forgot again because her sister kept bothering her about some other plans for the night, but that I should go over to her town for some party that is going on this coming weekend. I told her that it's all up to her now cause I gave her two chances, and I won't be going out of my way anymore to hang out with her. She actually got pretty pissed when I said that and said "so what is the point of us even talking then?" but calmed down a few minutes later and we were all good.

So. It is obvious that she has some sort of interest, but it is getting pretty annoying trying to get her to hang out and I refuse to completely chase after her to spend some time with her. What should I do my fellow DJs??

Didn't read all that, but your title is a contradiction: flaking is the biggest sign of disinterest that girls show.

 

[WC2]

She's an attention wh0re who's got her head twisted on the wrong way.

One of those girls who wants the whole world to revolve around her and she lives in lala land.

She flaked twice on you. You did the right thing by not even contacting her. She apologized twice saying she forgot, a blatant lie. This girl is trash.. she's got no sense of real self-confidence and has to make up stories to cover up the fact that she just can't make up her mind. Even worse, she got angry and used the line 'why are we talking then?' as if she deserved the status of 'talking' to you. Ha, what a trip.

I don't even see a reason to have interest in a chick like this. I enjoy talking to chicks who are at least a LITTLE straight forward with you and don't have to lie to cover up their inconsistencies. We call these girls 'chill' girls where I come from. They don't put up a huge facade.

If a chick flakes once, sh!t on them. If they flake twice, they no longer exist in my book.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Now that she knows you´re after her, it´s time to reverse the game. Turn a blind eye on her, imagine she is 70 years old, no more SMS, no invitation, when she invites you you say "yeah, for sure" and don´t show up, don´t give any satisfaction, perharps "Oh, I forgot!!!", lol. Turn the tables. Else, simply walk away!

Let the game begin. :rockon:

 

[The Great One]

Now that she knows you´re after her, it´s time to reverse the game. Turn a blind eye on her, imagine she is 70 years old, no more SMS, no invitation, when she invites you you say "yeah, for sure" and don´t show up, don´t give any satisfaction, perharps "Oh, I forgot!!!", lol. Turn the tables. Else, simply walk away!

Let the game begin. :rockon:

Figured as much. This is probably how I am going to take it from here on.

Like WC2 said, I love the chill girls. I'm down to play a few games with a girl but I am not here to completely chase after some chick.

 

[Vypros]

If you could install a mute button on her, would you still be able to tell she was interested in you by her actions alone?

 

[izza]

I think my post a moment ago may shed some light. This situation "she's into me but not working with me" happens all the time. Let me know if this helps:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1529898#post1529898

Don't worry so much about the guys who are sure she's not into you. Try to figure out, based on some of the blocks to cooperation I mention in the post, what might be stopping her.

 

[nismo-4]

Very contradictory title!

Flaking is not interest at all buddy boy. YOu'd better use reverse psychology.

 

[The Great One]

I think my post a moment ago may shed some light. This situation "she's into me but not working with me" happens all the time. Let me know if this helps:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1529898#post1529898

Don't worry so much about the guys who are sure she's not into you. Try to figure out, based on some of the blocks to cooperation I mention in the post, what might be stopping her.

Thanks. That link was pretty helpful and makes a lot of sense. Like I was saying, I am pretty positive that she is interested, I was just thrown off a bit. We'll see how it goes!

 

[izza]

That's cool. I'm glad it helped. Thanks for letting me know.