girl flaked on me - showed indifference but she keeps in contact, where to go from here?

[bobafatt]

Ok so I arranged to meet her Sunday but she text me in the morning saying she didn’t think she could make it in time as her mate had broke her wrist moving house – I knew this to be some bull**** excuse so acted indifferent and didn’t react to it just said don’t worry about it – her reply was are you sure, I can still make it if you want?

I replied back with don’t be silly have a good weekend and I’ll catch up with you in the week.

I haven’t been in contact with her since and I don’t plan on contacting her first again but fast forward to last night…I get a call at 21:50, I answer and she’s like oh hey how you doing? I told her that I was fine – she asked me what I had been up to, I kept it brief told her that I went out the night we were meant to meet and had a mad night with friends. She told me that she had done the same and the reason for her calling was she needed someone to speak to.

My answer back to her was that I can’t speak with her right now, that I was busy – she started asking me all these questions like what was I doing and who was I with – my reply was look I gotta go and then she said bye and hung up.

About an hour later I sent her a text and said great to hear from you but I had to run, keep in touch.


What should I do from here?

Should I call her out on what she’s doing , tell her exactly how it is and that im not interested in being an option or even a friend?

Should I just cut all contact and go completely ghost, forget about her and move on?

Do I keep the contact brief until she arranges to meet up and arrange something then?

 

[Serenity]

It would be more effective to just tell her clearly to fvck off, instead of playing unavailable and avoiding all questions. Clearly you're not attracted to her, you're showing no signs of interest and honestly you're a waste of time to her.

I think you should call yourself out on what you're doing, tell her exactly how it is and that she's not interested in being your option. Then cut all contact, go ghost, move on and try not to fvck up with the next girl.

But we all know you won't have the balls to be that honest.

 

[bobafatt]

It would be more effective to just tell her clearly to fvck off, instead of playing unavailable and avoiding all questions. Clearly you're not attracted to her, you're showing no signs of interest and honestly you're a waste of time to her.

I think you should call yourself out on what you're doing, tell her exactly how it is and that she's not interested in being your option. Then cut all contact, go ghost, move on and try not to fvck up with the next girl.

But we all know you won't have the balls to be that honest.

I do want to be that honest though - i have had enough now, it shouldn't be this hard!

She has been like this in the past, I just feel that if i react to her flakiness then its counter productive. Part of me doesn't want to giver her the satisfaction of my reaction

 

[bobafatt]

It would be more effective to just tell her clearly to fvck off, instead of playing unavailable and avoiding all questions. Clearly you're not attracted to her, you're showing no signs of interest and honestly you're a waste of time to her.

I think you should call yourself out on what you're doing, tell her exactly how it is and that she's not interested in being your option. Then cut all contact, go ghost, move on and try not to fvck up with the next girl.

But we all know you won't have the balls to be that honest.

I am ready to move on i just want to do it in a way that my head is held high and i don't look like a chump!

 

[dude99]

I am ready to move on i just want to do it in a way that my head is held high and i don't look like a chump!

Then just move on. I wouldn't say anything to her. It would just be a waste of breath. If she gets bored and looks for attention or "someone to talk to," as she put it, just say hey good to hear from you but i'm in the middle of something right now, and take care. Do not tell her you will call her back do not react if she gets testy just tell her i got to go. When you show her you literally have no time for her and that she means nothing to you then she will get it.

 

[Tictac]

If you have a 'one flake' rule, you have a one flake rule. Follow it.

She was clearly hoping that you'd ask her out.

Your call bud.

 

[Serenity]

I am ready to move on i just want to do it in a way that my head is held high and i don't look like a chump!

That's stupid, fvck your ego.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Stop contactin her and when she does be polite, talk to her the same way someone from the customer service would talk to you, polite but cold.

Learn from uninterested women too, short brief closed replies but always with a smile.

You solve the problem and you dont give her the satisfaction of your reaction.

 

[Maximus Rex]

You do nothing. I do understand you cats that like to give b*tches more than one chance to clown you.

 

[fastlife]

Ok so I arranged to meet her Sunday but she text me in the morning saying she didn’t think she could make it in time as her mate had broke her wrist moving house – I knew this to be some bull**** excuse so acted indifferent and didn’t react to it just said don’t worry about it – her reply was are you sure, I can still make it if you want?

You reply: Don’t be silly have a good weekend and I’ll catch up with you in the week.
Fastlife's reply (several hours later): Can't do [whatever was originally planned] but you can come over for a movie around 10

I haven’t been in contact with her since and I don’t plan on contacting her first again but fast forward to last night…I get a call at 21:50, I answer and she’s like oh hey how you doing? I told her that I was fine – she asked me what I had been up to, I kept it brief told her that I went out the night we were meant to meet and had a mad night with friends. She told me that she had done the same and the reason for her calling was she needed someone to speak to.

Your reply: I can’t speak with her right now, that I was busy – she started asking me all these questions like what was I doing and who was I with – my reply was look I gotta go and then she said bye and hung up.
Fastlife's reply: My phone's about to die. Come over and we can talk

About an hour later I sent her a text and said great to hear from you but I had to run, keep in touch because I really still wanted to **** her and I was pretending to be disinterested, but I was really putting on an act, and was scared I ran her off (EDITED for accuracy).

What should I do from here?

Should I call her out on what she’s doing , tell her exactly how it is and that im not interested in being an option or even a friend?

Should I just cut all contact and go completely ghost, forget about her and move on?

Do I keep the contact brief until she arranges to meet up and arrange something then?

She tried to arrange a meetup twice (as proactively as 95% of girls will arrange a meetup). Twice, you had to put on a front to protect your ego.

Don't call her out--that's pathetic; what does this girl owe you? You haven't even slept with her yet. Just invite her over. You either get the smash (which, by making this thread is obviously what you want), or she's nexted you for acting like a weirdo. Stop with all the wishy-washy game playing.

 

[Trump]

Ok so I arranged to meet her Sunday but she text me in the morning saying she didn’t think she could make it in time as her mate had broke her wrist moving house – I knew this to be some bull**** excuse so acted indifferent and didn’t react to it just said don’t worry about it – her reply was are you sure, I can still make it if you want?

I replied back with don’t be silly have a good weekend and I’ll catch up with you in the week.

I haven’t been in contact with her since and I don’t plan on contacting her first again but fast forward to last night…I get a call at 21:50, I answer and she’s like oh hey how you doing?

I told her that I was fine – she asked me what I had been up to, I kept it brief told her that I went out the night we were meant to meet and had a mad night with friends. She told me that she had done the same and the reason for her calling was she needed someone to speak to.

My answer back to her was that I can’t speak with her right now, that I was busy – she started asking me all these questions like what was I doing and who was I with – my reply was look I gotta go and then she said bye and hung up.

About an hour later I sent her a text and said great to hear from you but I had to run, keep in touch.


What should I do from here?

Should I call her out on what she’s doing , tell her exactly how it is and that im not interested in being an option or even a friend?

Should I just cut all contact and go completely ghost, forget about her and move on?

Do I keep the contact brief until she arranges to meet up and arrange something then?

Bro I don't get it, you have played it perfect and then come in and ask all sorts questions that make you look weak.

Just keep doing what you are doing.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I am ready to move on i just want to do it in a way that my head is held high and i don't look like a chump!

There is a significant difference between 'acting indifferent' and actually 'being indifferent.'

Women inherently perceive the difference. A man 'being indifferent' raises his value in a woman's eyes and increases her attraction. A man 'acting indifferent' generally lowers his value, in her eyes, and decreases her attraction.

More importantly, 'being indifferent' raises his own self confidence, while 'acting indifferent' generally reinforces his own self doubt.

I understand that there is a place for 'fake it till you make it.' Start there, but do not stop there. Learn the ability to actually 'be indifferent.' It is an ability that can serve one very well, in many aspects of life.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Yeah sounds like she's just trying to throw you in orbiter land or make you jump through more hoops.

She made up some BS story but then ends up going out with friends! Yeah captain obvious bro, that's a legit flake. Something similar happened to me last week, oh well.

The broad even said she'd call me and that the next "outing" would be on her. They are expert liers, cracks me up. I'm glad I've stuck with the 1 strike rule, Ghost.

 

[guru1000]

Ok so I arranged to meet her Sunday but she text me in the morning saying she didn’t think she could make it in time as her mate had broke her wrist moving house – I knew this to be some bull**** excuse so acted indifferent and didn’t react to it just said don’t worry about it – her reply was are you sure, I can still make it if you want?

I replied back with don’t be silly have a good weekend and I’ll catch up with you in the week.

I haven’t been in contact with her since and I don’t plan on contacting her first again but fast forward to last night…I get a call at 21:50, I answer and she’s like oh hey how you doing? I told her that I was fine – she asked me what I had been up to, I kept it brief told her that I went out the night we were meant to meet and had a mad night with friends. She told me that she had done the same and the reason for her calling was she needed someone to speak to.

My answer back to her was that I can’t speak with her right now, that I was busy – she started asking me all these questions like what was I doing and who was I with – my reply was look I gotta go and then she said bye and hung up.

About an hour later I sent her a text and said great to hear from you but I had to run, keep in touch.


What should I do from here?

Should I call her out on what she’s doing , tell her exactly how it is and that im not interested in being an option or even a friend?

Should I just cut all contact and go completely ghost, forget about her and move on?

Do I keep the contact brief until she arranges to meet up and arrange something then?

Such a fragile ego. Have you always been such a sensitive flower?

 

[RangerMIke]

Women inherently perceive the difference. A man 'being indifferent' raises his value in a woman's eyes and increases her attraction. A man 'acting indifferent' generally lowers his value, in her eyes, and decreases her attraction.

Truth. You can not fool women... they always know.

Just accept the fact that flakiness is normal female behavior. They all do this, and EVERY man at some point in his life gets flaked on, and the more you date... the more this happens to you. You really can not let this get to you. You have to get to the point where you honestly do not give a fvck what she does. She flakes on you... no problem... ring up your mates and go do something else.

If you really don't care if you get her or not, no matter what you do, your attitude will come out in your behavior. If you can not control yourself or your emotions, then not being in contact with her is the best way to go. Because the more she is around you, the easier it is for her to figure out where she stands with you.

If she knows you are more into her then she is into you, she will not try hard.... if she doesn't try she will not invest... if she doesn't invest she will not value you... if she does not value you she will not respect you... if she doesn't respect you she CAN NOT love you.

 

[marmel75]

Girl: "Now I'm curious because he handled himself well..he must have a lot of women and know how to deal with them properly. I need to try and get some of that."

You: "ummm...how can I pretend to be cool? Oh, I know, she will call and I'll pretend to be busy and blow her off...I'll look super cool then!"

Girl: "Wow...I tried to make it easy for him but I guess he isn't as experienced as I thought. Or I guess he just isn't interested. Oh well, I'll just focus on the other 15-20 dudes texting me."

Lol...c'mon OP, she was handing you her pvssy on a platter and you decided to "act indifferent" instead of streamlining the process so you could get laid. Then you come on here and ask what you did wrong and how you can fix it, lmao!

This is the height of "try hard" and people who misuse principles wrong --- wrong situation, wrong place, wrong time. Basically everything about it was wrong. It happens. You'll learn when to utilize certain things but for fvcks sake OP, the next time a woman picks up the phone and CALLS you and wants you to lead her to sex, do it.

 

[bobafatt]

I must make it clear that this girl was my ex gf of two years - She has been in a relationship after ours but still ends up coming back to me admitting she misses me, loves me bla bla bla.

To be honest im ****ing done with it, im exhausted by it all - I told her 3/4 months ago that i didnt want anything to do with her anymore and i really meant that, but yet she still manages to get hold of me.

I know i am probably thinking way to into things and i dont even know why i let her back in after saying that 4 months ago - its weak i know!

I just want to do the right thing for me, not her. She is completely blocked off all social networks..

Maybe its time i just change my number.

I have tried way too hard, now its time to just actually stick to what i say - thanks for the tough love tho guys!

 

[bobafatt]

Girl: "Now I'm curious because he handled himself well..he must have a lot of women and know how to deal with them properly. I need to try and get some of that."

You: "ummm...how can I pretend to be cool? Oh, I know, she will call and I'll pretend to be busy and blow her off...I'll look super cool then!"

Girl: "Wow...I tried to make it easy for him but I guess he isn't as experienced as I thought. Or I guess he just isn't interested. Oh well, I'll just focus on the other 15-20 dudes texting me."

Lol...c'mon OP, she was handing you her pvssy on a platter and you decided to "act indifferent" instead of streamlining the process so you could get laid. Then you come on here and ask what you did wrong and how you can fix it, lmao!

This is the height of "try hard" and people who misuse principles wrong --- wrong situation, wrong place, wrong time. Basically everything about it was wrong. It happens. You'll learn when to utilize certain things but for fvcks sake OP, the next time a woman picks up the phone and CALLS you and wants you to lead her to sex, do it.

I dont actaully think she is interested in me like she says...All i am to her is a back up/second option

She bailed on me sunday to go out with her mates instead, then when she is at home alone and feeling down for drinking too much or what ever she picks up the phone to get some attention off me.

If she really wanted to see me she would have - i just need to break from her completely, but its so hard man.

There is nothing worst then having feelings for a girl that you know doesnt feel back but still uses you for her own ego - i use all this energy up trying to mask how i really feel.

Just writing in here has made me realised how selfish she really is, time to change!

 

[Glassguy]

So she has been stringing you long for YEARS and you know that you are her back up plan?

You alredy know what to do: Reach between your legs, see if you balls are still there, if they are tell her to go pound sand up her ass. Go find another one out of the millions of people out there.

I have been there before (put up with it for about a month after a 3 LTR) but realized quickly that I needed to go NC thinking it would change the power. Just like everyone else, I realized during NC that there were many more options out there....told her to go kick rocks when I did finally respond after she reached out.

You know what to do. Do it.