girl delaying sex...

[pyros]

I met this 26 years old HB7.8 single mom a month ago. The thing is she lives 40 mins away from me in a small town. We've been on five 'dates', and I'm getting kind of annoyed because I have not banged her yet. She always texts me, sends me kisses, asks me if I miss her etc...
The thing is she lives with her children and I dont have a place of own so it is complicated to have privacy...

Here is in short what happened:

date 1: small kiss
date 2: makeout (she tells me she is pretty shy in public...so we have to look for a place with more intimacy), she hugs me a lot.
date 3: hugs, makeout plus I caress her boobs, she stops me after a while (in my car)
date 4: we go to dance, then she takes me to her female's friend apartment and we go to the bedroom. We are pretty tired because we danced for 4 hours and she had to get up early in the morning so we just make out plus I suck her boobs. She tells me she is exhausted and is on her period. Anyway I say lets go to my place eventhough my mother is there. We get there, get in my bed but we almost fall asleep since its 5:30 am.
date 5: I go to pick her up, and we go for a walk around a nice valley. She wants to take some pictures together. Kisses me a lot, hugs me etc.
I say that we should go somewhere more comfortable...like a bed (suggesting to go to her place since the kids where at school) she agrees and says that I should not take her to bed at 6 in the morning (like the previous time) cause she in that case she feels too tired...
She ays that she has to go pick her children from school, so I leave.

Today she sends me a picture that says 'I miss you', ok.
I tell her that next Tuesday I could go to her place in the morning (kids are in school) to watch a movie together, but she says that she has to go to the gynaecologist at 10.
She also says that she could come to the city after she is done, and we could go for a walk or something. (...damn it, what about the movie thing?!)
I say that's fine...

When the heck am I gonna bang her? Im getting the feeling that she is trying to build a 'relationship' before we have real sex!

For next Friday Im gonna tell her to go to dance and then go back to my place BEFORE we're too tired, and see if she puts out.


Ideas? Opinions?

Thanks.

 

[Big Nuts]

Single mom = date 2 bang at the most

Paralysis of analysis.....imagine waiting for a single mother...wow....society has lost all hope.

 

[El Payaso]

I don't think she is delaying per say. It's just the circumstances you find yourselves to be honest. 5am/6am is just way too late and 40 mins is a pretty long distance between the two of you.

You need proper timing and isolation for a good bang. I guess you could do it in the car but I find it uncomfortable plus I don't want to stink up my car or have sex stains all over.

 

[Willard]

Sounds like you haven't had the right time and place for sex. Tell her you are going to take her out dancing and then to a hotel after, you're both adults I'm sure she wants sex too. I'm assuming you like her a lot and It could go somewhere. Don't listen to anyone telling you not to date single mom's, I do If they have their head on straight and I'm really attracted to them.

 

[IndeedSir]

Sounds like circumstance to me too. Wouldn't read too much into it.

 

[pyros]

yeah but she could have suggested to to back to her place after her appointment, instead of suggesting a mere walk around the center....right? :|

 

[El Payaso]

If she suggested a walk, fine. It doesn't matter what she suggests. Pick her up and take her someplace else. Like a secluded park or something. Make out then bang her.

 

[VladPatton]

She wants a relationship and is looking for Mr. Father Husband for her and the kid, what else? Not that this is bad, or wrong, but this is what she probably is looking for. You want a quick bang, so the situation is so far not in your favor. Eventually she will want to suck you into her world so you can start becoming a father figure.

If she wanted to just bang and have fun, she would of done that already. So, it really is your call as to what you wanna do: Go forward, or forget it all. It really is the nature of the circumstances.

 

[Maximus Rex]

And This is Why You Don't Date Single Mothers

I think your window is has or is getting ready to close, SOON. This chick is beneath you, seriously why are you dealing with single mothers that are getting you logisitical problems? If she REALLY wanted to give you some, she'd invited ylu over after the kids where asleep, instead you've fallen into the trap of giving her the benefits of relationship without actually being in one. What you need to do is get a hotel room for the next date and exactly why can't you have sex at ylur place?

 

[YawataNoKami]

Never date a single mom.

 

[RagingBalls]

On the 4th date, i hope you asked her for some oreos while you sucked those milk jugs ei' :rockon:

 

[pyros]

On the 4th date, i hope you asked her for some oreos while you sucked those milk jugs ei' :rockon:

hahahahaha...

she has nice boobs I have to say.

 

[Cremasta]

but she says that she has to go to the gynaecologist at 10.

Jesus! Find out what this is about first before trying to put your d*ck in it!

 

[Greasy Pig]

"Sex first, then relationship" - Old jungle saying (for fans of The Phantom).
This rule must never be broken.
You're in a tricky situation where you've invested a lot of time and effort into this woman and you still haven't banged her.
I'd be escalating hard from now on. Flirty, sexy texts; nude selfies; suggestive comments etc.
As someone else said, you're giving her the benefits of a relationship and she has given you close to nothing to earn that reward.
If she doesn't ride your pole on the next date, I'd be seeking a new furrow to plough. Fast.
But you have to maximise the chances of this happening by being flirty, getting a hotel room and adding booze to the equation.
Good luck.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

The disadvantage of dating a single mom is that, if they've learned from their mistakes, the smarter ones are more cautious about hooking up with a guy right away. Think about it: she's a MOM and she's SINGLE. That means whoever she made the baby with is no longer in a relationship with her. I've lived with a friend of mine who was a single Mom and the day-to-day regret they have about making a baby with someone who ended up leaving them makes them feel terrible.

I say that to say: if you're just in this so that you can bang her, get out while you can. However, if you're actually seeing this woman as someone you could be with long-term, you need to give her time to build up that trust with you. It's only been 5 dates - what's that, 20 to 30 hours with you at the most? It takes longer than that to become comfortable with a person, especially if she's seeing you as long-term potential and wants to make sure she's not just a fling for you. I don't personally see it as a bad thing that she's wanting to wait (though I'm sure most of the people on these boards will disagree based on their past bad experiences) - as long as she's still accepting dates with you and/or planning out times to see you, her like for you is still there. Don't fall for the belief that just because she's not having sex with you right away means she doesn't like you or is hooking up with other people - sometimes it's just a woman making sure she doesn't set herself up for another hurt.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Interesting Analysis

The disadvantage of dating a single mom is that, if they've learned from their mistakes, the smarter ones are more cautious about hooking up with a guy right away. Think about it: she's a MOM and she's SINGLE. That means whoever she made the baby with is no longer in a relationship with her. I've lived with a friend of mine who was a single Mom and the day-to-day regret they have about making a baby with someone who ended up leaving them makes them feel terrible.

I say that to say: if you're just in this so that you can bang her, get out while you can. However, if you're actually seeing this woman as someone you could be with long-term, you need to give her time to build up that trust with you. It's only been 5 dates - what's that, 20 to 30 hours with you at the most? It takes longer than that to become comfortable with a person, especially if she's seeing you as long-term potential and wants to make sure she's not just a fling for you. I don't personally see it as a bad thing that she's wanting to wait (though I'm sure most of the people on these boards will disagree based on their past bad experiences) - as long as she's still accepting dates with you and/or planning out times to see you, her like for you is still there. Don't fall for the belief that just because she's not having sex with you right away means she doesn't like you or is hooking up with other people - sometimes it's just a woman making sure she doesn't set herself up for another hurt.

Next podcast, Harry?

 

[Maximus Rex]

15 Reasons to Avoid Single Mothers

The Infamous 13 Reasons To Avoid Single Mothers has been revised. There are now 15 Reasons To Avoid Single Mothers, here's the link to the original thread http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=97081

I've noticed a disturbing tend on this board and that is a lot of you guys bother with single mothers. Single mothers have created the problem emasculated males, in addition to other societal ills. When you give a single mom the time of day, you condoning her bad behavior and poor decision making skills, thus exacerbating the problem. I will enumerate 15 reasons as to why single mothers should be treated as if they have the plague. Starting from the superficial to the serious.

15) Baby Damage

Child birth has a traumatic effect on the female form. Pregnancy leaves stretch marks, saggy breasts, and c-section scars. I've also heard that the nookie is even stretch out and it isn't the same anymore. Then there's the weight gain, some chicks NEVER LOSE IT, and their former girlish figure is forever gone.

14) Babies Interrupt Nutbusting

I've had this happen to me. I was banging a chick and her kid interrupted my sex. Needless to say I was pissed. If some kid is going to interrupt the meanest head you've ever gotten, that kid should have your last name.

13) Scheduling and Logistical Problems

Chicks will use this as an excuse to get out of date with you or they may legitimately can't find a baby sitter. Either case it isn't your problem. By avoiding single mothers you effectively eliminate to excuse from ever being used.

12) Is He The One?

This is only a problem if you're trying to pursue something other than a booty call. Wanting to spend time with you, but not wanting to bring strange men around her kids, you find yourself only seeing this chick after 10 or 11 PM. You want to move forward, but she has to make sure your the "one." This could take months. It's bad enough these chicks are "interviewing," you to be a potential boyfriend, but these chicks are now gauging your fathering skills? AH, HELL NAW!!! F*CK YOU AND THAT!!! I suggest dealing only with chicks that are readily available to hang out.

11) Rent-A-Daddy

Realizing her mistake, realizing that kids (especially boys need fathers,) The chick gets desperate. Any and every guy has the potential to be "daddy."

10) Double Heart Your Break

Your with the chick then everything falls apart. You not only do you have to deal with losing the chick, but you've formed a bond with lil' Jimmy. You and Jimmy play HALO together, watch the A's game, toss the ball around, go to the zoo, and things dads do with sons or daughters. On top of maybe missing the chick, you miss the kid. The cold part about it is, you may miss the kid more than you the chick.

9) Unnecessary Expenditures

Contrary to that nonsense women spew about "not needing a man to spend money or take care of their kids," guess what's going to happen if relationship moves forward, YOU'RE GOING TO BE SPENDING YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY ON HER KID!!! You're six months to a year or year an half into a relationship with this chick. You mean to tell me NOT EVEN ONCE, you're not going buy this kid a video game, this month's issue of Batman, a cake for her birthday, some school clothes, or a Christmas present? Or course you will, especially if they father isn't around. Also, early in the relationship, if your feeling the chick, if she can't get a sitter, either you or she will suggest bring the kid along. Suddenly, those romantic evening you had planned for that fly little lounge get tossed for family outings at Chuck E. Cheese.

8) You Know What She's Going to do if She Gets Pregnant

There's a school of thought that says single mothers are easy to to get know carnally. The irony is that the same chicks that believed in premartial sex, when they get pregnant, suddenly have an epiphany, find Jesus, and won't have an abortion. Knowing this fact, do you really want to be this father of this woman's child?

7) Her Decision Making and Judgment Skills Are On Display

This chick got knocked up by somebody that she was "supposedly in love with." Not only is she a bad judge of character, she's GROSSLY irresponsible. The same guy that's an inattentive, insensate, abusive a$$hole now, is the same guy she thought the world of and had unprotected sex with.

6) You'll Never Be #1

When you're trying to build a relationship with somebody, you should be the focus of the woman's life. It should be about you and her. If she has a kid, you'll NEVER BE #1!!! That's not a bad thing either, but it's something I don't want to deal with. Neither should you.

5) Resentful Little Bastards

I recently experienced this, although it didn't happen to me personally. This chick I'm messing with, her best friend is involved with a co-worker. Thing is baby girl just broke with her "baby's daddy," for good, after eight tumultuous years.

The daughter (though a bright and sweet little girl, is a f*cking brat.) Even though her parents had a f*cked up relationship, (due to her father and his issues,) it was all she knew. Due to her age, (the little girl is eight,) all she want is her mom and dad to be together. Being upset, jealous, resentful, and wanting a return to normalcy, the little girl told her grandmother, (my bed buddy's friend's mother,) that her mom loved her new boyfriend more than her.

If your dealing with a single mother, not only do you have to win over the chick, you have to win over the kid(s), something that may or may not ever happen. When your dealing with a chick, you shouldn't have to worry about a third party trying to sabotage your relationship.

4) A Reduction in the Number Of Children You Will Eventually Have

We all have an idea of the number of kids we want to eventually have. If you get involved with a woman with children, you can significantly reduce the number of children that you planned on having. If a chick already has 1, 2, 3, or 4 kids, how many more do you expect her to have? Or what if she's one of those woman that have problem pregnancies and getting pregnancy effects her health or puts her life in jeopardy? Adoption is cool and I'm a big proponent of it, but there's something about having your on kid.

3) You're Not My Dad

You hook up with the chick. Eventually the issue of discipline is going to come up. Some kids being resentful or just being a bratty prick is going to eventually pull the "YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!!!" card. Personally, if I did date single mothers and some dumba$$ kid pulled that stunt on me, I would say, "You're right, I'm not your father and since I have no authority over you and you refuse to listen to me, you need to pack your sh*t and go live with your dad." This would be a deal breaker for me. In addition, some chicks or the dad would have problem with you disciplining their kid. I'm sorry, if some kid broke one of my G.I. JOEs, I'm whooping his a$$.

2) Baby's Daddy

When you're dealing with a chick and you're getting know her, you shouldn't have to deal with kid's father. Some guys can't get over the fact that their ex has moved on. Before he was an inattentive jerk and didn't give a jolly goddamn about her. Now that you've entered into the picture, the dude wants to be the ideal boyfriend and a "father of the year," nominee." The guy starts stalking her and may even want to fight you. Even if the chick and guy are on good terms, the guy feels as if he can always smash. He knows her. He knows what she wants to hear and what makes her happy. The next thing you know, you're having this conversation. "I've decided to try and make it work with Jimmy's dad." Best way to avoid the situation is to avoid single moms.

1) Tag, YOU'RE IT!!!!

This should be the BIGGEST deterrent to EVER dealing with a single mother. In some jurisdictions, I think California is one of them, if you start dealing with a chick with kids, move in with her and things go south. THE CHICK CAN SUE YOU FOR CHILD SUPPORT!!!! She can claim that herself and the child have "become accustomed to you supporting the child." YOU COULD END UP POSSIBLY PAYING CHILD SUPPORT FOR A KID THAT ISN'T EVEN YOURS!!!! Imagine being extorted money because you were doing what you thought was the "right thing." The state doesn't give a rat's a$$ about the relationship being over or you being a "good guy." They just don't want the chick on welfare. So as far as you're concerned, "TAG, YOUR IT!!!"

The only reason why one should EVEN CONSIDER single mom, it's because it's FOR SURE A$$ and she's the one doing the pursing. She's being the aggressor, she asked for the number, she's calling, she's setting up the date. Even then, she's just there until something better comes along. Instead of putting all the time and effort into M.I.L.F.s That effort would be better spent on G.I.L.F.s

 

[pyros]

update:


so, after two more dates I banged her.
But I have to say that it took me around 1h of her being in my bed to just take of her shirt...plus 1 more hour to take off her pants...MY GOD, I had to use all the little tricks I've read here like: being 'aggresive', push push push, pause...push push...pause...putting her hand on my dic-k so she could stroke it...

Anyway, I'm not planing on putting much more effort on this chick because:
1 she has kids
2 she lives 35 minutes away from me and does not have a car.
3 its pretty difficult to plan anything because she needs the babysitter each time etc.

P.S.
After the sex she asked me what kind of relationship I wanted to have with her...and I just said that I would like to get to know her more and see how it goes...
SHe also said that she did not want anything like FWB, that she wanted something serious...and she did not want me to have sex with any other girl now.

 

[pyros]

another update:

she texted me today to let me know that she understands that we cannot have a serious relationship and she doesn't want any other type of relationship...that she likes me and has a lot of fun with me , but she has big responsabilities, she's a mother and she does not want a FWB thing.

wtf?! and she tells me this after banging her...what kind of stupid who-re has sex with you just to tell you the next day that she thinks you cannot have the kind of relationship that she wants?

Well, I guess it is because I told her the previous night I just would like to get to know her more and see how it goes...it seems she did not like my answer...
I have to say that the sex was below average because
1 I had to persist A LOT,
and 2 she was saying each 10 minutes that she had to go back because the babysitter was waiting for her.

And now she says that she does not want me to delete her from fb and that we should remain friends...

 

[Pardner]

Sounds like buyers remorse to me. At least you got a bang out of it.