girl came over for 10 mins and left

[tony-montana]

well that was pointless. she text me today after i decided to stop talking to her like three months ago. so she wanted to catch up.. we went to the shops, she bought an energy drink, and she wanted to go sit somewhere in her car but i said lets go to mine instead. so we did... she sat down on my bed and i was on my chair puttin music on the pc (its right near the bed) and we just started talking boring crap. she doesnt really make it easy for me to make a move. she wasnt really in kissing distance to be honest so i didnt bother. everyone keeps saying she wants a fuk otherwise she wouldnt of text me. but she didnt seem like she wanted one.. it was just a quick visit. she just kept talking about ghosts again like last date. the other dates i had to force myself on her shes really hard to get. shes never tried to kiss me once. she let me make out with her last time but just didnt feel 100% natural. when a girl wants you she lets you know. the way she text me saying "wanna meet now?" like she wanted a fuk. but oh well :/ - when she left she opened her car door and drove off i just walked away and went inside. she said "text me again!"

she was standing and talking to me before she got in the car but yea i didnt do nothing. hate forcing myself on girls. feel sleazy. i like when they do some moves on me. arrrgg. hate going on dates.

 

[Taste]

well that was pointless. she text me today after i decided to stop talking to her like three months ago. so she wanted to catch up.. we went to the shops, she bought an energy drink, and she wanted to go sit somewhere in her car but i said lets go to mine instead. so we did... she sat down on my bed and i was on my chair puttin music on the pc (its right near the bed) and we just started talking boring crap. she doesnt really make it easy for me to make a move. she wasnt really in kissing distance to be honest so i didnt bother. everyone keeps saying she wants a fuk otherwise she wouldnt of text me. but she didnt seem like she wanted one.. it was just a quick visit. she just kept talking about ghosts again like last date. the other dates i had to force myself on her shes really hard to get. shes never tried to kiss me once. she let me make out with her last time but just didnt feel 100% natural. when a girl wants you she lets you know. the way she text me saying "wanna meet now?" like she wanted a fuk. but oh well :/ - when she left she opened her car door and drove off i just walked away and went inside. she said "text me again!"

she was standing and talking to me before she got in the car but yea i didnt do nothing. hate forcing myself on girls. feel sleazy. i like when they do some moves on me. arrrgg. hate going on dates.

She may have wanted a **** but if she was boring, why bother? Plus who talks about ghosts like that She's really hard to get because to me she sounds low quality. With low quality girls, they tend to be more insecure and they'll try and powerplay with you. They won't ever reach out to you, unless you care less or emotionally compel them. But there is no use in trying to **** or even go out with the low quality girl, because after the sex is all over and done, what is there left? Talk about more ghosts?

That feeling that was telling you it wasn't 100% was your gut intution, it means that something is up. She was expecting you to seduce her and do all the work. She wanted you to force yourself on her, because she wanted the validation. Unfortunately that's what it is like with some low quality girls.

Don't ever lower your standards for no one. Don't feel bad about this. Feel proud that you stood with your gut feeling. Not many guys would have.

Just to add onto it. When I say low quality, I mean low quality for you, not universally. (One man's rags is another man's riches.) It doesn't make her bad or anything. But she's not your type. Why pretend that she is ? I don't know about you but when I'm with an high quality girl, I'm addicted, I want to taste her and **** her. If theres no passion and connection, as Ziniath said; going further would be going against your own boundaries. Put it this way though, she may make a good friend who can introduce you to her hot friends.

 

[Ziniath]

I'm not in the same boat as Taste here, so I'll offer a different perspective.

What happened means nothing. You couldn't possibly derive any meaning out of what she did and how she behaved because you can't read her mind.

That, however, doesn't help you at all.

Here's the kicker: you know EXACTLY what you're thinking, and how you're being with this woman.

Were you being open to her?

If something doesn't feel right, or if you're not feeling a connection, I've discovered with many men that it has nothing to do with her not "being able to have a connection", it has everything to do with you not letting down your own boundaries.

I would suggest that you need to figure out exactly why you don't like "forcing yourself" onto women.

The fact that you use the phrase "force yourself" when referring to making out with a girl is a little bit of a concern. If you're going to kiss her, and she doesn't tell you to **** off, I don't think you're forcing anything. You can't MAKE her kiss you, she's the one who has to allow it to happen.

What exactly aren't you comfortable about? Have you had some negative experiences in the past that have lead you to the conclusion that a man shouldn't kiss a woman unless she makes it blatantly obvious?

Here's what I would suggest: get in touch with your balls, your own emotions, and exactly what it is that you desire (and specifically what you desire from this woman).

Are you actually attracted to her? If you are, then really FEEL you're attraction to her, and let it drive you wild.

If you're not attracted to her, why are you even comprehending hooking up with her in the first place?

Do you just want the validation? Validate elsewhere, brother.
I'd personally deal with your validation issue though, otherwise you'll keep repeating the same mistake, over and over again.

Maybe this question will make it easier for you:
if you knew you were 100% accepted by anybody, and everybody, you were completely satisfied with who you were as a human being, would you still want to play with this woman?

And if you did want to play with this woman, how would you be with her, knowing that you were 100% accepted, and completely satisfied with who you were as a human being?

Actually, I may be stealing this from a post that I read on this subject, so I should probably reference it (plagiarism and all haha): http://www.attractioninstitute.org/to-become-liked-dont-try-to-be-liked - I think that's the article, they have some other pretty cool stuff on there too.

Anyhow, to wrap this up: sort out who you are first, brother, before you go on to figure out, or change the world. It always helps to know where you're coming from first.

Good luck with it.

 

[tony-montana]

thanks for the comments. made me think a bit... to be honest we don't really have much in common. she smokes and i don't. she even wanted to go to the strip club :S - shes not into computers much and im very much a computer/internet gamer person. i think she just see's me as a friend by the looks. someone to just hang out with and rant to. she kinda bores me with her conversations. shes good looking and all but thats about all i see in her. there was a few times where we just sat there wondering what to talk about. i didnt even feel like it. i either just wanted her to go or fuk her and then she'd leave. but it didnt even get to the point where we kissed this time. worse the worse date out of all three. felt i had to try too hard to get something happening, thus not the girl for me. but what do i do when she keeps asking me to catch up. i always catch up with her in hopes we might fuk (dont really know many girls and its been a while for me. probably why i give in to her stupid dates)

 

[Jay Dee]

You got her as far as your bed?

Should have gone for it anyway - you were inches away from ner nakked a$$.

If she tried the 'ol last minute resistance shyte, should have froze her out for a few minutes and tried again - but too many times you stop and ask why is she there? Any answer other than sex or kiss and you tell her you're gonna take her home, she'll either stall or let you, the stall means try again with her.

You should get what YOU want out of the opportunity and if she ain't giving out she's effectively wasting your time.

 

[chrisgoodrich25]

You got her as far as your bed?

Should have gone for it anyway - you were inches away from ner nakked a$$.

If she tried the 'ol last minute resistance shyte, should have froze her out for a few minutes and tried again - but too many times you stop and ask why is she there? Any answer other than sex or kiss and you tell her you're gonna take her home, she'll either stall or let you, the stall means try again with her.

You should get what YOU want out of the opportunity and if she ain't giving out she's effectively wasting your time.

next time you get her on your bed..brake out with a strap on and you and your fiance can run a train on her:kick:

 

[Ridingthelightning]

The next time a woman sits on your bed, you sit next to her. Hands back behind you, back straight, and you chat. You make her laugh. How, it doesn't matter, but you do it. Then you go for the kiss. If you get denied you kick her out. If not then keep pushing till she goes for whatever. If you don't get the kiss then there is no longer a point.

 

[Warrior74]

thanks for the comments. made me think a bit... to be honest we don't really have much in common. she smokes and i don't. she even wanted to go to the strip club :S - shes not into computers much and im very much a computer/internet gamer person. i think she just see's me as a friend by the looks. someone to just hang out with and rant to. she kinda bores me with her conversations. shes good looking and all but thats about all i see in her. there was a few times where we just sat there wondering what to talk about. i didnt even feel like it. i either just wanted her to go or fuk her and then she'd leave. but it didnt even get to the point where we kissed this time. worse the worse date out of all three. felt i had to try too hard to get something happening, thus not the girl for me. but what do i do when she keeps asking me to catch up. i always catch up with her in hopes we might fuk (dont really know many girls and its been a while for me. probably why i give in to her stupid dates)

She's a hot cool chic, and you are a nerd. You are awkward. You are not in touch with your physical self. You are smart but judgmental. She feels all of this. She's just being nice when she asks you to catch up...or she's waiting for you to come out of your shell. Eventually she will stop being nice about it.

You need to leave the computer for a while. You need to connect to your body. Play a sport, hit the gym, learn to dance. Learn how to take an active interest in the girl. How to hold a conversation. You should be able to hold a coversation with a homeless person or Bill Clinton, a supermodel or a fat single mom of three. Not just for seduction, but being comfortable enough with who you are, to be able to talk to anyone. It's time to put in some work. Are you ready?

 

[Joe Stud]

Keep letting her seek you. meanwhile spin other plates. let her know you have other women. rome wasn't built in a day, but what do you have to lose, except a few hours of your time. money in the bank... wait and maybe it will pay off. step it up when you feel it... start by gentle kinoing

 

[Nutz]

The next time a woman sits on your bed, you sit next to her. Hands back behind you, back straight, and you chat. You make her laugh. How, it doesn't matter, but you do it. Then you go for the kiss. If you get denied you kick her out. If not then keep pushing till she goes for whatever. If you don't get the kiss then there is no longer a point.

Agreed! If a chick is sitting on your bed and the two of you are alone, HELLO MCFLY! She's there for a reason. She may never admit it, but on some level she is hoping you A) have balls and B) are smooth. They want you in their panties, but they also don't want to seem easy. It's this internal conflict most women have becuause of how our society has groomed them to think sex is bad, despite how much they want to fvck.

 

[dj_china]

try some kind of escalation to see how far she wants to go
maybe something like Mystery's kiss test
or something like

"lets play a game"
"?"
"its called the questions game. I'll start. hmmmm....how many bfs have you had?"
"x"
"your turn"
"uhhh blah blah"
etc.etc. escalate
"would you like to kiss me?"
*answers*