Girl brings friend to "date" -- am I doomed?

[MrAFC]

So I meet this girl at a bar. She's very excited talking to me, kinos me with both hands, pours her heart out, gives me her work number without my asking. I isolate her from her group of friends pretty quickly and when they come over later she gets them to go away. I could probably have kissed her but didn't because I'm AFC and still not comfortable enough to do that.

I call her up later and we agree to meet for coffee after work. I go down to the coffee place and she shows up with her girlfriend from work and says she has to meet some other people half an hour later. WTF? So we chat, I talk to her friend too, try to be cool about it. At the end she asks for my number to put in my phone, I'd given it to her in a voicemail but apparently she hadn't punched it in yet.

What gives? Is this another conquest in friendland? She wasn't especially good looking, and she's just over thirty, but she's very social and insanely fun to talk to. If she were a DJ she'd get laid all the time.

My life sucks. Oh well, try again.

 

[Jay Jay]

Dude!

You know what your problem is?

Nah, me either...

But I can say you are too down on yourself, that you give up too easily and that you should get a new handle... MrAFC? Cmon dude!

Girls are weird. You are reading too much into that **** and giving up too soon. Just play it cool and persist.

Just make sure that you are chasing other girls too. It sounds like she is fun.

On a couple of occasions I have had first dates where the girlie has said she has made plans with a friend and has to jet in an hour.

1st time that happened I was a bit put off when she told me that and I could tell I failed a test.

2nd time I was like "no worries" and she was like "do you want to come?" "Ah, no thanks, you girls have a good time." I'm still on speaking terms with this girl (she went abroad a few weeks later).

3rd time I was like "no worries" and she was like "do you want to come?" I was like "sure." we had a great night and this progressed satisfactorily.

I think sometimes girls just get a bit scared around first dates and want a freind around to look out for them.

Remember your like a big bear with teeth and claws and she's a scared little rabbit. (thanks swingers!)

JJ

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I would have sarged her GF for the heck of it. Games are fun when you can turn the tables.

 

[rgeere]

So I meet this girl at a bar. She's very excited talking to me, kinos me with both hands, pours her heart out, gives me her work number without my asking. I isolate her from her group of friends pretty quickly and when they come over later she gets them to go away. I could probably have kissed her but didn't because I'm AFC and still not comfortable enough to do that.

I call her up later and we agree to meet for coffee after work. I go down to the coffee place and she shows up with her girlfriend from work and says she has to meet some other people half an hour later. WTF? So we chat, I talk to her friend too, try to be cool about it. At the end she asks for my number to put in my phone, I'd given it to her in a voicemail but apparently she hadn't punched it in yet.

What gives? Is this another conquest in friendland? She wasn't especially good looking, and she's just over thirty, but she's very social and insanely fun to talk to. If she were a DJ she'd get laid all the time.

My life sucks. Oh well, try again.

She was touching you like that ... ? Dude, you could have fvcked her probably. Yeah, it does sound like you hesitated too much. She still might like you, but just note that she might spend alot of time testing you for congruency, which means she could turn into a pesky b1tchy while you date her alot and go through the confort stage. It is no big deal, just be sincere around her. It might be better because you can continue on with the trust building stage and therefore lessen the possibility of her giving off Fool's mate if you do get to stick her. So, it might work out if you get your act together.

The important thing here is to not let yourself see the fact that she brought her friend along as a negitive thing, albeit it might be a positive thing. You could have spent the time busting on both of them, thus increasing her attraction to you and it would be doubled since she has a woman to compete with for you. That is the right way to look at it.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

I'm with Francisco on this one.

Yeah, if this ever happens to you again, treat the OTHER chick like you're really out on a date with HER instead. In cases like that, ignore the attention whorre-user chick you ACTUALLY asked out.

But then again, YOUR goal is to NOT ever let this happen to you again, right?

RIGHT?

Of course it is, so that's why I suggest that you go to the parent site of this forum:

www.sosuave.com

And read through ALL, or as many of the articles as you can. And after that, come back here and read through ALL, or as many of the threads in the DJ Bible as you can.

But if you find yourself TOO LAZY to do all that, the UNAUTHORIZED, cliffnote version of becoming "suave" is to simply emulate the behaviors of any COOL, CONFIDENT GUY you have seen or KNOW of who does well with the ladies.

It doesn't matter if this "guy" is someone you know in real life or in the movies----but a real life guy to emulate is preferrable because you can see PROOF that the guy's shyt actually WORKS. lol

Hopefully, if you ACT like THE MAN enough, pretty soon you will begin to internalize the behaviors enough to where they actually become a part of you. Then, you'll instinctively KNOW when a woman is trying to marginalize you, play you, or USE you.

March on!

 

[dirtysouth]

I agree with some of the posters here. If a chick brings another girl to a date, then you use that opportunity to completely zone in on her friend and show her what's she missed by not isolating you. Guaranteed she starts wanting attention and the next time, she's asking to be alone.

Chicks bring other women to validate their choices. If you charm the other girl, you are indirectly winning the target.

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

Dude - you're thinking too much about this. It's not that big of deal and there could be 1000s of reasons why she did it. She might have made plans with them before she even said she'd get coffee with you. She then probably thought sh1t, well I don't want to cancel on this great guy so just come along.

Or she could have been nervous around such a confident alpha male.

Or X or Y or Z.

The point is - if it bothers you, don't see the girl ever again. It's that easy. You are the only one in control of your life. You don't have to be in situations that you don't want to be. If it really pi$$ed you off, you should have walked away the second you saw her friend.

It all depends on how you setup the coffee thing, if it was done like a date date then I'd say next. But if it was one of those, hey I'm gonna be getting some coffee in a few, meet me. Then who cares.

Set up a real date with her and if she brings the friend FVCK THAT.

Make everything into a positive experience. And yeah, macking on the friend (especially if she's cuter) would be golden.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I would have sarged her GF for the heck of it. Games are fun when you can turn the tables.

Abso-tively right :rockon:

Nothing like pitting two birds against each other for your attention. Let this be a lesson to you and remember it for the future.