girl always arrives 30 mins late

[pyros]

Hi.

This is not a fwb or anything, it is just a female friend of mine that always arrives 30 minutes late.

What can you do in this situation? Ive told her many times, Ive made her wait for me 20 minutes two times, but she keeps arriving late, way to late for me.
I like the girl, we have fun together, shes nice etc, but this is just damn annoying.
Tonight we're going to a party, I said to her to come pick me up at 23:00 thinking she would come at around 23:30, now she's arriving at 23:45....


Tips? Ideas?

 

[usernamedox11]

If it bugs you enough, maybe the relationship isn't worth it for you. I think there are some people who are ALWAYS late. It's just how they operate. My ex's friend was always late. Didn't matter if she was going to see her BF, friends, or family. She might be one of those types.

Don't think these type of people change unless their job is on the line at work. Even then it might not matter.

Personally, if people are slow to text back/never calls or asks about you, late to events, cancel, and just seem apathetic about relationships in general (whether platonic or romantic), it's either they're just not relationship material and don't understand common courtesy or they just don't care that much about you. Either way that person is not worth the investment, IMO.

 

[GS750]

Is she a Latina? You could just tell her you plan to leave at 11:30 when in reality you plan on leaving at 12:00 that way if she arrives late she'll still be on time. Sort of. Sounds to me like this person doesn't have much regard for other peoples time. I'm the type that always likes to be early so that would annoy me too.

 

[Cremasta]

Yeah, two...

1. Always tell her a time half an hour earlier.
2. Never rely on her for transport.

 

[Vice]

Yeah:

Tell her to arrive 30-45 minutes earlier than what is really needed. Then later on bust on her that you do that.

It's usually a difference in culture combined with poor personal time management that causes these things.

 

[cgr68311]

this is a sign of major disrespect. if she is doing this to you know, what will she do after if you let it go unchecked? let her take it to the next level of disrespect? either check her or charge her to the game.

 

[abe0]

this is a sign of major disrespect. if she is doing this to you know, what will she do after? charge her to the game.

People who are always late, IMHO, is showing signs of disrespect as if to tell you that their time is more precious than yours....and that is how I was taught to interpret that. That said, however, they do not see it that way and I would not even suggest to her that she is disrespectful. SHE WILL ALWAYS BE LATE>>>>ALWAYS!!! I am always early...so is my dad..so is my son....its in the genes. I do not agree that this means she will disrespect you in other ways.

The only way to deal with it is to tell her to be there 45 mi before you expect her....nothing else you can do about it.
Abe

 

[Maximus Rex]

Give her (or anybody else for that matter,) a fifteen minute grace period. If the person doesn't show after fifteen minutes, bounce.

 

[pyros]

Ive already used the strategy of telling her to meet me 40 mins before the actual time, but that is not the point and I do not like it.
I think if she can arrive on time to catch a bus, she's on time for her lectures and she's on time when meeting guy X she bangs, she should be on time to meet me, period.

So last time we were suposed to meet she arrived 45 minutes late. SHe was suposed to come to my place to pick me up and then go to a club with some friends. She lives 30minutes away from me so when she was already 35 minuts late I decided to give her a lesson. When she finally made it and texted me she was at my building I did not reply to her text and I went to party with some other friends without telling her.

Next morning I read her multiple messages, in short she said:
"im at your building already, where are you?. Hey Im here! what are you doing?. Yeah Im late sorry , sorry, lets go, shall we? Hey what the heck you doing??? lets gooooo. Are you trying to punish me? WHAT ARE YOU DOING PYROS?! I DO NOT DESERVE this!! you're treating me bad, like a piece of ****!! heeeeeeey Im sure you're at your place!!! heeyy!!!!!! you moron!!!!

(some hours later): Hey listen Pyros Im really sorry. I know you're right Im a piece of **** for always arriving late...Im reall really sorry, I understand why you're upset and I deserve it...I hope you're not gonna stop talking to me... I really like our friendship, I swear Im sorry..., XOXO"

Well, next day after I read all this I called her and well, we're still friends but I said to her that Im not gonna wait for her more than 15 minutes ever again, and that if she cannot make the effort to be in time, Im just asking some other friend to hang out and Im not calling her ever again, its her choice.

We'll see...

P.S.
I like the girl but damn bratty girls with their entitlement issues, princess syndroms....and everybody accepting their ****, guys mainly.

 

[TheGambino]

Call her out on it.

 

[Cremasta]

Ive already used the strategy of telling her to meet me 40 mins before the actual time, but that is not the point and I do not like it.
I think if she can arrive on time to catch a bus, she's on time for her lectures and she's on time when meeting guy X she bangs, she should be on time to meet me, period.

So last time we were suposed to meet she arrived 45 minutes late. SHe was suposed to come to my place to pick me up and then go to a club with some friends. She lives 30minutes away from me so when she was already 35 minuts late I decided to give her a lesson. When she finally made it and texted me she was at my building I did not reply to her text and I went to party with some other friends without telling her.

Next morning I read her multiple messages, in short she said:
"im at your building already, where are you?. Hey Im here! what are you doing?. Yeah Im late sorry , sorry, lets go, shall we? Hey what the heck you doing??? lets gooooo. Are you trying to punish me? WHAT ARE YOU DOING PYROS?! I DO NOT DESERVE this!! you're treating me bad, like a piece of ****!! heeeeeeey Im sure you're at your place!!! heeyy!!!!!! you moron!!!!

(some hours later): Hey listen Pyros Im really sorry. I know you're right Im a piece of **** for always arriving late...Im reall really sorry, I understand why you're upset and I deserve it...I hope you're not gonna stop talking to me... I really like our friendship, I swear Im sorry..., XOXO"

Well, next day after I read all this I called her and well, we're still friends but I said to her that Im not gonna wait for her more than 15 minutes ever again, and that if she cannot make the effort to be in time, Im just asking some other friend to hang out and Im not calling her ever again, its her choice.

We'll see...

P.S.
I like the girl but damn bratty girls with their entitlement issues, princess syndroms....and everybody accepting their ****, guys mainly.

 

[pdx1138]

I think there are some people who are ALWAYS late. It's just how they operate.

indeed.

My best friend is like that. Annoying as all hell.

He'll be late to his own funeral.

 

[_sideways_]

Yea....I dated a girl who was 30 min. Late because of "traffic".... I couldn't get mad at that. Then I day I made a date....and arrived an hour late. She was never late again.

 

[abe0]

Pyros...I was wrong...you did good!!!!