Girl Agreed to Lunch Date and then Coming to My Place Tomorrow. Keys to Success?

[Nu Vision]

So this chick I met at a bar a week ago texted me inviting me to go out to lunch tomorrow. Tried to make it into a night outing but she says she can't. She has all day for free but has some commitment at night. I'm off work and so is she.

Told her ok and said we can come to my place after lunch to chill and watch a movie or something. She said why don't we go to the movies and out something good that's out now. I said Nah ... there's nothing good. We can relax at my place. She said yes but I can sense hesitation.

Any tips on how I should plan this date to facilitate the lay. I'm thinking watching a movie on the couch can lead to touching and then escalate from there.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Haha, she can read you a mile away. Don't be surprised if she cancels the lunch date altogether.

 

[Nu Vision]

She seems interested in seeing me. But I think she wants it to be a get to know him more kind of date and not thinking sex. But she has agreed to come to my place so anything can happen.

I'll just chill and let things fall where they may.

 

[spiegel549]

So this chick I met at a bar a week ago texted me inviting me to go out to lunch tomorrow. Tried to make it into a night outing but she says she can't. She has all day for free but has some commitment at night. I'm off work and so is she.

Told her ok and said we can come to my place after lunch to chill and watch a movie or something. She said why don't we go to the movies and out something good that's out now. I said Nah ... there's nothing good. We can relax at my place. She said yes but I can sense hesitation.

Any tips on how I should plan this date to facilitate the lay. I'm thinking watching a movie on the couch can lead to touching and then escalate from there.

Most broads when you invite them over to your place especially on a 1st date have a very high flake percentage. Reason being is because you only invite a girl to your place when your gonna fuk.

Unless you got the vibe that she is down to fuk, you should of stuck to doing something out. First few dates should be light and fun. You don't HAVE to try to bang them on the 1st date. If you do great, if not who gives a fuk.

Also when your talking with her text or phone keep it light and fun. When she said lets go to the movies, that was her saying "hey I don't feel comfortable coming to your house yet." that's when u flip the script and say "you know what, lets go try xyz out they got great dessert." boom.

 

[Nu Vision]

Spiegel,

Great tips man.

You are right. She would probably give me lots of resistance if I end up bringing her home after lunch. But the movies seem like a bad idea. She mentioned liking art a lot. Maybe take her to art museum instead? What would be a good date idea for during the day?

 

[spiegel549]

Spiegel,

Great tips man.

You are right. She would probably give me lots of resistance if I end up bringing her home after lunch. But the movies seem like a bad idea. She mentioned liking art a lot. Maybe take her to art museum instead? What would be a good date idea for during the day?

How old are you and this girl?

Keep the first few dates inexpensive and FUN. It depends how/where you meet the chick. I meet girls at clubs and bars a lot because my friends are promoters/bartenders. Those type of girls are usually down to bang after a few drinks lol.

If you meet a girl through work, group of friends, someplace where you aren't around alcohol then first dates should be a cheap $10-15 thing. Ice cream, happy hour food spot, beach etc. If she likes art that's great but not for a first date.

You never want to take a girl to the movies. You sit there for 2hours with a stranger and you can't talk. bad idea.

Be creative. Dessert is usually the best bet.

 

[Nu Vision]

Ok. I'm early 30. She is late 20s. We agreed to lunch. I'll suggest going for desert somewhere.

 

[bukowski_merit]

So this chick I met at a bar a week ago texted me inviting me to go out to lunch tomorrow. Tried to make it into a night outing but she says she can't. She has all day for free but has some commitment at night. I'm off work and so is she.

Told her ok and said we can come to my place after lunch to chill and watch a movie or something. She said why don't we go to the movies and out something good that's out now. I said Nah ... there's nothing good. We can relax at my place. She said yes but I can sense hesitation.

Any tips on how I should plan this date to facilitate the lay. I'm thinking watching a movie on the couch can lead to touching and then escalate from there.

You're trying to push the sex frame (that's what "come to my place", "watch movie on my couch", "have a few drinks at my place", etc. means.)

But, she's trying to push the dating frame.

I personally don't even deal with women like this, and it doesn't surprise me she's in her late 20's. She doesn't trust herself to not mess around with you (or doesn't want to), so puts up walls to do it. If that's because she's trying to be "good" with you, or because she has a date after yours and would feel like a s!ut if she fed him sloppy seconds - I don't know.

If you're going to accept the dating frame.
If you're going to do this during the day.
If you're going to take her out for desert or to a museum.

That's fine. Even if she came over after - you probably don't have much chance to lay her on this date either way (if she shows).... She's just putting up too many obstructions. Just have fun with her and leave her wanting more.

 

[Nu Vision]

Well ... she already said she may not be able to come to my place after lunch. She's flaking already. Something about her wanting to meet a girlfriend in the afternoon. What BS.

Anyways I'll go on this date but I think this will be the last one. She's putting up too many obstructions.

 

[LMFAO]

Inviting her to your place for some drinks or movie or something can work but 90% of girls will resist if it's as a first date. This is just out of not knowing you well enough and not finding it weird to go to a stranger's place. I do sometimes do that myself and it can work. Many people don't have the patience to go through the three date process to bang a girl, especially if you're just looking for some fun.

RSD Todd's advice is to meet a girl outside your place, and walk together or take a taxi together to the bar. Sometimes also "forget your wallet" before the date and just make her comfortable in your places surroundings. Then much greater likelihood for sex.

Either way, always stick to your guns. If she's raising objections before the date then it's usually not good.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Good LORD, dude, why are you rushing her to sex so soon??

You met a girl at a bar ONE time, and then she gives you an incoming invite to do something... and the FIRST thing you're suggesting is that you two go back to her place?? No bueno, man. As always the goal is to get HER to be the one to suggest it first - that way there's no resistance. You don't try to make the sale of "going back to your place" before you do the actual date. When you're on the date, THAT'S when you can start doing/saying things that will make her feel comfortable enough to ask about going to your place or hers.

I've been on dates with girls where I'm able to get the home invite before date #2 happens. I've also dated girls where we went out 5 or 6 times before we finally hooked up. Regardless of the situation, I was able to hook up with the girl with NO hesitations. Why? Because (1) I was patient, (2) I waited for HER to bring up the idea, and (3) I did things on these dates that made HER find excuses for us to be alone together in an apartment. And it's not hard to do, unless you're trying to bring it up as a date idea, which she is instinctively going to REJECT.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Aaaaand I just did a podcast about this for further explanation: http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/slw0221/

 

[LMFAO]

While I generally agree with you, you have to have the patience of a saint to go on 6 dates before sex.

Perhaps he saw her just as a sex buddy and no more than that. Not everyone can be bothered going out on dates with all the games and the will she won't she at the end of it. That said it's usually better to go to a bar and flirt with them before the date to make sure they aren't going to waste your time.

Inviting a girl to your place or to hers is a high risk high reward strategy and it does sometimes work. It's not to be sniffed at. I've got a first date tonight for example at 9pm with one girl, and I set up my backup at 11pm who I said I'll come over to her house for drinks (she's from online dating, not met her before). Either way sex may be on the cards.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

While I generally agree with you, you have to have the patience of a saint to go on 6 dates before sex.

For me, I can generally tell at this point if the girl will be wanting to have sex with me at some point. As long as I can sense that sex WILL be on the table, I'm cool with the wait. Plus there are other factors: (1) I'm not generally trying to get with a girl just have sex since I'm trying to either date them or have a relationship with them as the end goal; (2) for girls that I'm just wanting to hook up with, there's no need to set up dates - but even then, I'll set up hang outs (where I don't pay for anything) and keep it on a FWB level; and (3) sex bonds people quickly (whether guys on here want to admit that or not), and sometimes its worth feeling a girl out to see if you really want to be bonded with her in that way. I hooked up with a chick one time on date #2, and on date #3 I found out about how crazy her life really was (ex in the picture, abused by previous bfs, etc.) and had to drop her. Lesson learned: it pays to KNOW about the chick you're trying to bone.

 

[captain55]

If her IL isn't that high just go ghost. Wait for her to hit you up, may not be next week or even three weeks from now but she will in the next month or two at the most. And when she does at that point you'll have all the power. She should be bending over backwards to make plans to see you,if she's not NEXT

 

[RangerMIke]

I don't think it's a problem inviting her to your place. It let's her know you are interested in sex. That is what you need to do as a man. But if she flakes... don't be surprised. Just take it as a man and don't let it bother you. You're moving a bit fast... but that's okay... She'll push back which is okay as well. Just don't agree to an alternative to coming back to your place. You have told her this is what you want to do... And if you agree to do anything else after lunch other than that you'll look weak in her eyes.

 

[Nu Vision]

Ok. The reason why I invited her to my place or said we could go to her place wqs because I did some good kino escalation on her while at the bar and felt she was open to it. She's obviously seeing me as a guy she wants to get to know and not just bone.

Anyway we met up and she brought her dog to the date. That to me says it all. Cute dog dont get me wrong but come on. The date went ok with a lot of talking about stuff that I feel we bonded over but I see some daddy issues and drama. So I doubt I'll go out with her again.

 

[Nu Vision]

Harry Wilmington,

Listened to the podcast. Good stuff. Thanks for the tips. I clearly made mistakes with this girl. Suggesting we come back to my place made me look desperate. I've read a lot of PUA stuff and the advice gets conflicting sometimes. Some say try to go for the lay right away. Others say build comfort. She was very open to touching and flirting when I met her at the bar. Her inviting me out to me was a sign that it could go down so I suggested we come back to my place. Now I know I should have just gone in the date and build comfort. Lesson learned. Thanks!