Gf's beta orbiters - how to handle current situation

[smurfs]

Gf of 6 months has several beta orbiters, few have confessed so far since I begun my LTR with her and have somewhat withdrawn although kept in contact...

There is however one particular one whom goes out of his way to ensure her happiness. These acts goes from purchasing goods for her, visiting her at her workplace with food, home visits (insert excuse to help her with something), to buying drinks for her when we out at a party etc.

Now I've been somewhat happy to let it slip - hey it saves me from spending money. However a part of me remains insecure about these situations...

When she brings up the topic of that person visiting and doing deeds for her, she mentions that he must have a lot of time on his hands to which I play towards his side... "hey i'd be happy to get free delivered food, he sounds great etc" *insert bf destroyer game* though i'm the bf

Wanted to reach out to the community to gain an understanding of how i can handle this particular beta orbiter better. Any suggestions welcome

 

[adam225]

Take him with a pinch of salt - honestly man, you know she isn't interested in him and just likes him as a friend. Try and have some fun with it (manipulate her to manipulate him) - try getting some stuff out of him through her. You could also try and rub in his face the fun sex you have with her.

These betas make me laugh, they are just so deluded it's unreal. It's like everything they do just goes against them. It's like they well and truly believe ass licking is the way to go :crackup: .

 

[Odisseo]

Couldn't this also be a **** test on her part to test his levels of jealousy? On one hand he's weak if he shows he is bothered by the orbiter, on the other hand he might have to show he's the one in charge by making clear he won't accept orbiters coming too close?

 

[Greasy Pig]

If a girl's gonna cheat, she'll cheat pretty much no matter what you do.
Is this guy really a threat? You're the one fvcking her, right?
I laugh when guys try to chat up my GF.
If you get all butthurt and protective, it shows neediness and weakness.
If she fvcks the beta, well you just next that bytch and get back in the game.
As I said, you can try to shield her from other men, but if she strays, she's actually doing you a favour by showing how unworthy she is of you.

 

[Dgwizdal]

If a girl's gonna cheat, she'll cheat pretty much no matter what you do.
Is this guy really a threat? You're the one fvcking her, right?
I laugh when guys try to chat up my GF.
If you get all butthurt and protective, it shows neediness and weakness.
If she fvcks the beta, well you just next that bytch and get back in the game.
As I said, you can try to shield her from other men, but if she strays, she's actually doing you a favour by showing how unworthy she is of you.

THIS.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Very common for women to fvck their orbiters even when in a relationship. A orbiter, beta or not, speaks to an attention wh0ring sh1t testing low quality manipulative user woman.

You can try setting an ultimatum about guy friends and lecture her on using men. It never worked for me. Dumping her for a higher quality woman is preferable.

so. what have we learnt from this site so far?

1) to win the woman and get her in the sack you MUST be an alpha male or she will disregard you. no woman wants a beta.
2) If you are a beta orbiter you will also get to sleep with the girl you are orbiting despite her seeing an alpha male.

 

[zekko]

Very common for women to fvck their orbiters even when in a relationship. A orbiter, beta or not, speaks to an attention wh0ring sh1t testing low quality manipulative user woman.

I'm glad you said this, because I agree. Even if they will not fvck the orbiter, they will often let them engage in makeouts or share the cookies in other ways (use your imagination).

If you go by what is commonly said here, the orbiter is portrayed as some harmless teddy bear to be laughed at who never gets a sniff. But I agree they can often get a piece of something, it just may not be as often compared to the "alpha" who can get it all the time.

 

[sylvester the cat]

If you go by what is commonly said here, the orbiter is portrayed as some harmless teddy bear to be laughed at who never gets a sniff. But I agree they can often get a piece of something, it just may not be as often compared to the "alpha" who can get it all the time.

To conclude - the beta and the alpha will both get the girl.

end lesson.

 

[TheCWord]

Glad I'm an omega male. I get all the girls plus their hot sisters.

 

[teddy]

Threads like this do me no favor. I'm a recovering afc and the girl who drove me to this site had a bf of a long time. I said adios to her because I was too attracted to her being her friend. I felt I was gonna go into friend zone so I eject perhaps prematurely.

So now you're saying there's a chance if I stuck around? Hell, a makeout or fooling around sounds good to me.

So basically the action I took was wrong.

 

[TheCWord]

So now you're saying there's a chance if I stuck around? Hell, a makeout or fooling around sounds good to me.

So basically the action I took was wrong.

Don't zone in on the (rare) advice that justifies your beta instinct. Pay attention to the consensus formed by many successful men on here over the course of many years.

The friend zone is exactly what it's purported to me. You did right by getting out.

 

[smurfs]

Couldn't this also be a **** test on her part to test his levels of jealousy? On one hand he's weak if he shows he is bothered by the orbiter, on the other hand he might have to show he's the one in charge by making clear he won't accept orbiters coming too close?

That's the exact dilemma and thought I have!!

I am currently taking Adams advice and attempting to manipulate both parties for my own gain.

I also touched on the subject passive aggressively last night which in retrospect felt weak on my part. Basically the phone conversation was heading to a close when the gf decides to re-mention that she had received a gift from the orbiter that day (attention whoring at this point?). To which I once again responded in an amused way - "love to get free food and gifts... What a great guy to go out of his way for you" etc

She pushes the subject and the conversation evolves to speaking about her latest now defunct orbiter whom confessed. From there I brought forward and mocked the many beta acts that the now defunct orbiter did eg drove her around, visited her a lot, gifting etc. Acts that drew obvious lines to identifying the current friend to current orbiter with his actions. This was the passive aggressive part which I'm not sure if I've handled correctly. However it does seems like she understands that the orbiter is an orbiter now without me being direct - choice words for the defunct orbiter

My aim so far is to react by treating her orbiter storytelling with amused mastery.

 

[Siragoos]

That's the exact dilemma and thought I have!!

I am currently taking Adams advice and attempting to manipulate both parties for my own gain.

I also touched on the subject passive aggressively last night which in retrospect felt weak on my part. Basically the phone conversation was heading to a close when the gf decides to re-mention that she had received a gift from the orbiter that day (attention whoring at this point?). To which I once again responded in an amused way - "love to get free food and gifts... What a great guy to go out of his way for you" etc

She pushes the subject and the conversation evolves to speaking about her latest now defunct orbiter whom confessed. From there I brought forward and mocked the many beta acts that the now defunct orbiter did eg drove her around, visited her a lot, gifting etc. Acts that drew obvious lines to identifying the current friend to current orbiter with his actions. This was the passive aggressive part which I'm not sure if I've handled correctly. However it does seems like she understands that the orbiter is an orbiter now without me being direct - choice words for the defunct orbiter

My aim so far is to react by treating her orbiter storytelling with amused mastery.

Why was she talking about the defunct orbiter? How did she feel about his confession? Did he go ghost after this?

 

[smurfs]

Why was she talking about the defunct orbiter? How did she feel about his confession? Did he go ghost after this?

I basically lead the conversation into that direction with the goal of drawing lines of association with the current orbiter.

His confession occurred during the first month of my relationship with her and her reaction was to ask me for advice as she had seen him as a friend moreso.

He did go ghost after and now another orbiter replicate has taken his place

 

[zekko]

Threads like this do me no favor. I'm a recovering afc and the girl who drove me to this site had a bf of a long time. I said adios to her because I was too attracted to her being her friend. I felt I was gonna go into friend zone so I eject perhaps prematurely.

I firmly believe that it is possible to get out of the friend zone, although it helps if you don't really give a fvck (ironically). From the sound of it, your problem is that you are too stuck on this girl, and that stacks the odds against you right there.

Generally speaking, I think it's okay to care a lot for a girl, but only as long as she cares for you more.

To conclude - the beta and the alpha will both get the girl.

Not sure what you're on about sylvester. But this site has always taught that the girl will eventually settle with and marry the beta (usually after she hits the wall). So maybe you're right.

But the alpha often gets first choice, although (if this site is correct) he is not usually the type to choose commitment.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Dont let the androgynous creep sylvester twist the message. The point is that women that entertain orbiters are trouble.

ALL women entertain orbiters Einstein.

 

[Bokanovsky]

so. what have we learnt from this site so far?

1) to win the woman and get her in the sack you MUST be an alpha male or she will disregard you. no woman wants a beta.
2) If you are a beta orbiter you will also get to sleep with the girl you are orbiting despite her seeing an alpha male.

The world is not black and white and there are no universal rules. Most girls will not sleep with beta orbiters, some will. Most girls prefer alpha males, some do not. One thing is certain though. The fact that the OP's girlfriend allows this guy to do things and buy stuff for her speaks poorly about her character, even if she does not actually fvck him.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Threads like this do me no favor. I'm a recovering afc and the girl who drove me to this site had a bf of a long time. I said adios to her because I was too attracted to her being her friend. I felt I was gonna go into friend zone so I eject perhaps prematurely.

So now you're saying there's a chance if I stuck around? Hell, a makeout or fooling around sounds good to me.

So basically the action I took was wrong.

Yes, sometimes it's possible to get out of the friend zone. But it's simply not worth the effort. Your time would be better spent going after other girls as opposed to trying to win over your oneitis.

 

[smurfs]

Not true. Most, yes. All average and above women HAVE orbiters. That doesn't mean they entertain them like the OP's GF does.

This. I've had past gf's who had orbiters but were not entertained to on a regular basis i.e. contact only acquainted via social gatherings.

 

[teddy]

I firmly believe that it is possible to get out of the friend zone, although it helps if you don't really give a fvck (ironically). From the sound of it, your problem is that you are too stuck on this girl, and that stacks the odds against you right there.

Generally speaking, I think it's okay to care a lot for a girl, but only as long as she cares for you more.


Not sure what you're on about sylvester. But this site has always taught that the girl will eventually settle with and marry the beta (usually after she hits the wall). So maybe you're right.

But the alpha often gets first choice, although (if this site is correct) he is not usually the type to choose commitment.

See this is something I don't get and am trying to reconcile. How can you not give a fvck if you have to be upfront in your intentions? Seems like just accepting the situation would put you in friend zone.