Don Juanabbe
Master Don Juan
Hi all,
So, I've been here awhile, learned alot, and really tried to look back at my past LTRs. I had about three, but two of them were 3 1/2 years and 7 years respectively.
For whatever reason, I feel that in my development and growing, it's sometimes good to look back on these relationships. I know alot of people would say, 'move on' and I agree with that.
But I think that one reason I need to look back on my LTRs, is because I need to get a better, positive image of myself in order to move forward, and I feel that, indeed, I've come out from the brainwashed state that society has put me in, but also, I'm trying to come out of the brainwashed state I was in from the women who were in my life.
Remember, I, like many of you, was the nice guy. Too nice. Always worried that maybe what I said or did might upset/anger/drive away the woman I was with.
I was raised in the era of:
Man = evil, abusive, misogynistic etc.
Woman = well, you know, all that Feminist claptrap
For some reason, and maybe it was my attitude, the two big relationships I had in my life have something very much in common: both woman were always trying to make me out to be the bad guy. All the time.
But the truth is, I really am not the bad person they always sought to frame me as. Now, when I say I'm being made out to be the bad guy, I mean:
If I went out a few times too many during the week, I was a sh*t.
If I didn't say nice things, and do nice things all the time, I was a sh*t.
If I neglected her *needs* sometimes, I was a sh*t.
But truth be told, I think the only things I did bad was argue back when they started up, and sometimes accuse them respectively of being a b*tch when they were actually, indeed, acting like b*tches.
Now, keep in mind, I always carried my share of the load with these two women - I worked, made money, and probably paid the lions share of the expenses - yes, I know, I'm dumb.
All around, I think I was a good catch for these women: I'm good looking, have a good job, sense of humour, sensitivity (yuck).
All the sh*t women say they wanted: And it backfired, bigtime.
The one thing I lacked was a spine.
However, I feel that I was unfairly being targeted for small stuff, so look out for these patterns:
Both women would take small things I did and blow them way out of proportion, and the sick coincidence was, both women pulled sh*t on me that was really out of line - buying big ticket items without consulting me, embarrassing me in public, one of them would start an argument with me, and on the odd occasion throw a punch.
So if a woman is constantly trying to magnify your so-called transgressions, it's usually to diminish the sh*t they are guilty of.
Yep, I was the classic chump in hindsight, and I realise that. But what is it with these women that are constantly harping on your small imperfections, whilst doing, and getting away with, way worse stuff?
Well, I think a combination of control, societal programming I.e. - the man is always in the wrong, the man is always the b*astard in the relationship, the man is the abuser, this stuff has been pounded into these young women's minds.
I know this a little convoluted - I'm kind of ranting more, but I think maybe it's something that guys need to discuss in order to avoid sh*t like this.
Because, no matter what these women were like, the bottom line is, this was the end result of my AFCness.
My AFCness, and basically whipped, self loathing behaviour as a man, caused me to put up with this crap. It stopped me from getting out of these relationships, when really, I should have run for the hills. It kind of stole my 20's from me.
Luckily it's not too late, and I'm making up for it in my 30's.
Just some musings on my past, really, now that I can look upon it for what it truly was.
But it's interesting to look at how our PC, feminist, man hating society has screwed things up so much for both men and women.
Any thoughts?
So, I've been here awhile, learned alot, and really tried to look back at my past LTRs. I had about three, but two of them were 3 1/2 years and 7 years respectively.
For whatever reason, I feel that in my development and growing, it's sometimes good to look back on these relationships. I know alot of people would say, 'move on' and I agree with that.
But I think that one reason I need to look back on my LTRs, is because I need to get a better, positive image of myself in order to move forward, and I feel that, indeed, I've come out from the brainwashed state that society has put me in, but also, I'm trying to come out of the brainwashed state I was in from the women who were in my life.
Remember, I, like many of you, was the nice guy. Too nice. Always worried that maybe what I said or did might upset/anger/drive away the woman I was with.
I was raised in the era of:
Man = evil, abusive, misogynistic etc.
Woman = well, you know, all that Feminist claptrap
For some reason, and maybe it was my attitude, the two big relationships I had in my life have something very much in common: both woman were always trying to make me out to be the bad guy. All the time.
But the truth is, I really am not the bad person they always sought to frame me as. Now, when I say I'm being made out to be the bad guy, I mean:
If I went out a few times too many during the week, I was a sh*t.
If I didn't say nice things, and do nice things all the time, I was a sh*t.
If I neglected her *needs* sometimes, I was a sh*t.
But truth be told, I think the only things I did bad was argue back when they started up, and sometimes accuse them respectively of being a b*tch when they were actually, indeed, acting like b*tches.
Now, keep in mind, I always carried my share of the load with these two women - I worked, made money, and probably paid the lions share of the expenses - yes, I know, I'm dumb.
All around, I think I was a good catch for these women: I'm good looking, have a good job, sense of humour, sensitivity (yuck).
All the sh*t women say they wanted: And it backfired, bigtime.
The one thing I lacked was a spine.
However, I feel that I was unfairly being targeted for small stuff, so look out for these patterns:
Both women would take small things I did and blow them way out of proportion, and the sick coincidence was, both women pulled sh*t on me that was really out of line - buying big ticket items without consulting me, embarrassing me in public, one of them would start an argument with me, and on the odd occasion throw a punch.
So if a woman is constantly trying to magnify your so-called transgressions, it's usually to diminish the sh*t they are guilty of.
Yep, I was the classic chump in hindsight, and I realise that. But what is it with these women that are constantly harping on your small imperfections, whilst doing, and getting away with, way worse stuff?
Well, I think a combination of control, societal programming I.e. - the man is always in the wrong, the man is always the b*astard in the relationship, the man is the abuser, this stuff has been pounded into these young women's minds.
I know this a little convoluted - I'm kind of ranting more, but I think maybe it's something that guys need to discuss in order to avoid sh*t like this.
Because, no matter what these women were like, the bottom line is, this was the end result of my AFCness.
My AFCness, and basically whipped, self loathing behaviour as a man, caused me to put up with this crap. It stopped me from getting out of these relationships, when really, I should have run for the hills. It kind of stole my 20's from me.
Luckily it's not too late, and I'm making up for it in my 30's.
Just some musings on my past, really, now that I can look upon it for what it truly was.
But it's interesting to look at how our PC, feminist, man hating society has screwed things up so much for both men and women.
Any thoughts?
