GF problem

[zoner25]

Hi,

I am in need of some advice. I am 25 years old and have been going with the same girl for about 2 and a half years now. My gf and I live about 45 mins away from each other. I live in LA and she lives in the Palmdale area. I used to be a jealous guy with her and always be in her business asking her what time she would be home if she was hanging out with other guys and even talk to her friends to keep an eye on her when she went out with them. She would come down and visit me every 2 weeks and stay with me for about 4 days or so at a time. When we were together everything was good and we would hang out and have fun and she would be really into me. I would always tell her that I care about her and that she meant the world to me. We just took a break for about 2 months or so. She initiated the idea saying that she feels like she wants to date other people just to see what is out there but at the same time she told me that she loved me and she was afraid that I wouldnt understand and that I wouldnt take her back. She told me that she knows she wants to be with me and grow old with me. Just recently we started dating again and everything is going well. I have changed my ways and I dont tell her nonsense like the past. She has a guy friend at school and they have hung out a couple of times I presume. She called me the other day and left me a message saying that she got my message and that she was talking to her friend at school and at the end she said that she loves me. He has asked her if she wanted to go out on a motorcycle ride with him and she said ok. She tells me that they are friends and that she loves me. Since I have just started going back out with her and changed my ways I havent said anything about it. I dont feel that it is right and I dont know what to do. Should I tell her and risk her thinking I am a jealous freak or should I be ok with this situation?

 

[NewMan]

There is but 1 question to ask yourself....

Do you trust her?

You have 1 itis for her. Thats is very dangerous.

You need to get control over your situation and your emotions. Yoiur way to dependent on this girl.

she will eat you alive if you are not carefull.

 

[Aresx]

Originally posted by zoner25
Hi,

I am in need of some advice. I am 25 years old and have been going with the same girl for about 2 and a half years now. My gf and I live about 45 mins away from each other. I live in LA and she lives in the Palmdale area. I used to be a jealous guy with her and always be in her business asking her what time she would be home if she was hanging out with other guys and even talk to her friends to keep an eye on her when she went out with them. She would come down and visit me every 2 weeks and stay with me for about 4 days or so at a time. When we were together everything was good and we would hang out and have fun and she would be really into me. I would always tell her that I care about her and that she meant the world to me. We just took a break for about 2 months or so. She initiated the idea saying that she feels like she wants to date other people just to see what is out there but at the same time she told me that she loved me and she was afraid that I wouldnt understand and that I wouldnt take her back. She told me that she knows she wants to be with me and grow old with me. Just recently we started dating again and everything is going well. I have changed my ways and I dont tell her nonsense like the past. She has a guy friend at school and they have hung out a couple of times I presume. She called me the other day and left me a message saying that she got my message and that she was talking to her friend at school and at the end she said that she loves me. He has asked her if she wanted to go out on a motorcycle ride with him and she said ok. She tells me that they are friends and that she loves me. Since I have just started going back out with her and changed my ways I havent said anything about it. I dont feel that it is right and I dont know what to do. Should I tell her and risk her thinking I am a jealous freak or should I be ok with this situation?

1) she initiated the idea of a break-up as space, because she wants to see what's what's out there
translation: i like you but i think i can do better... let me see if there is a guy who likes me as much as you do, but is more attractive

2) she has A guy friend at school. not a few freinds, some of which are guys, but one very specific guy friend.
translation: she is interested in him. either they're already f.ucking or they're going to.

3) she went on a motorcycle ride with him.
translation: she's allowing herself to develop excitement with him. she's interested in him.

4) she wanted space even though she was seeing you every two weeks.
translation: even that much time apart, she's not into you anymore.

dump her. move on.

 

[DJ_Dork]

Can you feel your heart crumbling away? I know man, we're here for you.

Game over man.

 

[Maximus_Decimus]

Zoner25, you have been tested by her multiple times.

What's the number one rule we use to see through their Bullsh*t? Don't listen to their words, listen to their actions.

Maximus_Decimus

 

[zoner25]

I broke into her email and this is what I found.


Hey Eddie,

Thanks for the ride. I didn't really know how to respond to what you said. I just don't want to **** up the relationship that I am in. I know that we have a lot in common and that you can understand better then most people how I feel, I just don't want to lead you on. I'm sorry if I have. I really like spending time with you because you make me laugh and your fun to be around. Oh tonight I just came home and e-mailed the teacher asking her not to drop me. I don't think she will though but just to cover my ass. Thanks again for the ride--Talk to you soon--Blank

His reply was

You did nothing wrong and you did not lead me on. I just needed to say what I did and it need not to go no where. I also really enjoyed kicking it with you. Hope to see you soon.

Eddie


She called me at night when she came home from the bike ride and she was really loving telling me that she misses me and all. Should I still be worried after reading this in her email? Or should I give her a chance because I believe that she loves me.

 

[zoner25]

Even though all this **** happened I am pissed and I want to kick the **** out of this guy. The dude dont even know my past. I bet if he came to know he would back off.

 

[CLOONEY]

The trick is..........well this is not a trick, but something u honestly have to learn for the long-run. There will ALWAYS be guys after ur girl, ALWAYS!! And she will always flatter herself with the attention, ALL GIRLS will do this! I have slowly but surely learnt this.

U cant pretend to not care, u have to honestly and whole heartedly NOT CARE! Once u detatch yourself from the situation (u still make her feel special, withdraw from her, play games with her, just be mysterious in general), but once u truly dont care if she hangs out with other guys, it will not only be easier on u, the relationship and her, but it will make her want u even more!

Good luck, and happy hunting!

 

[NewMan]

Once you break into email - it's over. What's next?

Your not going to be able to keep her with the kind of attitude your displaying.

 

[b's nuts]

she is just using you and will replace you as soon as she finds something better. The time apart thing makes this more than evident. Go out and fvck ten other women and see if you still care.

 

[Hollowpoint]

Looks to me like she LJBFed that guy.

 

[WaterTiger]

I don't belive in "taking a break". Either you're IN the relationship or you're OUT. I would consider this girl a lost cause and start dating other women. Don't call her, don't e-mail her. If she calls you...tell her you're going out motorcycle riding with a cute girl you met at the beach.

Make her EARN her way back to you, if you even want her back. She gets to go date other guys while you have to sit and wait for her to make up her mind????? WTF is that about?????

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Wait a sec....

Perhaps she is young...how old is this girl?

We always say "Oh no, they got married too young, it will never work." But here this girl recognizes the fact that she has some doubts and everyone says dump her.

I believe a person (boy or girl) needs to date a variety of partners with all different qualities to one day make an intelligent decision on which qualities are most important to him/her.


if she wants to take a break, fine, but if and when that happens, you should date around also. If she ever wants to get back together with you, you will have had the opportunity to meet other women and decide if you even want to go back with her.

I'd tell her fine, take break, I won't be sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for you to come back. I can't promise I will take you back if you ever decide to come back. That's just a chance she'll have to take.

As for being jealous... you're just wasting your time. If in fact she is not completely satisfied with you, then the sooner you find out, the better. If she wants somebody else, don't be jealous or mad, instead... help her pack her bags.... no hard feelings.

Live your life as if she didn't exist... if it works out fine, but if it doesn't, you haven't lost any time waiting for her.

One more thing on the break idea..... Nothing wrong with taking a break to help clear her head... but no repeats... tell her not to come back unless she's 100% sure.

 

[NatureGuy]

I disagree with alot of what's being said here. Let's look at this response for example: (my comments after **)

1) she initiated the idea of a break-up as space, because she wants to see what's what's out there translation: i like you but i think i can do better... let me see if there is a guy who likes me as much as you do, but is more attractive
** Sure, she want's to see what's out there (she's young and that is expected) It's common for people to
breakup for awhile before they move to the next stage. That's what I think has happened.
2) she has A guy friend at school. not a few freinds, some of which are guys, but one very specific guy friend.
translation: she is interested in him. either they're already f.ucking or they're going to.
** He read the email from the other guy and the other guy is clearly just a friend to her. There's nothing going on (except in the motorcyle's guy thoughts!)

3) she went on a motorcycle ride with him.
translation: she's allowing herself to develop excitement with him. she's interested in him.
** No, she's just doing something fun. Maybe she had some ideas, but she
doesn't have feelings for motor guy.

4. she wanted space even though she was seeing you every two weeks.
translation: even that much time apart, she's not into you anymore.
** She wouldn't be telling him she loves him and would be avoiding him if she was not into him.
a

Zoner, noone can tell what's going to happen, but I think this girl likes you alot. Keep doing whatever you've been doing but don't overreact, and stay confident about yourself and positive around her.