GF parents staying with her and won’t introduce me

guru1000

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And then -even if they papered over those actions pleas, crying, begging to stay together- they turn around and tell their friends "why doesn't he take a hint?" Lol
I've had many LTRs including--being married once, few engagements. I never had an LTR girl act this way toward me or even end the relation. It's usually quite the opposite dynamic for me.

As RL mentioned, strong frame is key. But what forges a strong frame are boundaries. Boundaries don't necessarily need be overt, but they must be there to effectively lead. As without leadership, women will operate in accordance with their emotional whims, like water without a dam for format.

Women need structure. And men need to lead by setting that structure.
 

flowtheory

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Imagine there’s a room.
Imagine you're a bird.
Imagine there’s a woman.
Imagine there’s a cage; which represents exclusivity.
Imagine you get daily servings of food in that cage.
But imagine that cage door doesn’t actually shut. The lock is messed up. But you’re too focused on the entirety of the cage so sometimes you forget that.

Now, that woman is holding a bird cage and her goal is to get you in that cage to eat.
And every time you pop open the cage door she chases you, tricks you, etc. To try and get you back in.

You, being a bird, your greatest joy is flying and exploring this room and everything in it and even outside of the room, but you need food every once in awhile so you return to her. You could get food elsewhere, however you like her food for many reasons.

So your goal is to explore and chase your dreams of flying far. It nourishes your heart and mind.
However you need to eat. But If you get locked in that cage for longer than a day or so, you lose your greatest your joy and motivation. Flying! Constantly looking outside of the barred cage.

Your joy is what made that woman holding the cage desire you in the first place. Pretty bird can fly and is doing what he loves!
Never lose your joy of being you, because the second you give it up, and relinquish your sovereignty to the captor. Then she will go looking for other birds and care for you less. because you’re okay with being her pet. No mammal wants to be a pet. Treat someone as such and watch their life drain. You chose to be her pet. She merely just did what she has been pre programmed biogically to do. Capture.

Learn from this. Fly free. Watch her come with the cage. You care too much what she wants, while not caring enough what you want.
 

earlkeese

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Thanks to everyone. I actually reached my breaking point before and said I was done with her. And, she started the begging and pleading. Now we are back to the disrespect :(
 

flowtheory

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Thanks to everyone. I actually reached my breaking point before and said I was done with her. And, she started the begging and pleading. Now we are back to the disrespect :(
Because you didn’t draw solid boundaries, and you allowed the disrespect to happen in some ways based on how much you value your own self.
We teach people how to treat us. And that is based on how we treat ourselves.
 

earlkeese

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Because you didn’t draw solid boundaries, and you allowed the disrespect to happen in some ways based on how much you value your own self.
We teach people how to treat us. And that is based on how we treat ourselves.
Well said. Thanks everyone. You have helped tremendously.
 

earlkeese

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Yet if she said;

1) My parents are coming to stay for a few days and you’ll be meeting them
2) Im cancelling game night with my friends because I want to see you
3) You are my forever

You would say “I feel suffocated and need my space
.’

No, I wouldn’t.
 

flowtheory

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No, I wouldn’t.
Maybe not in this specific situation, as you’ve been lacking those affirmations of desire.

If she did that all the time, you would feel suffocated. And then she would try to control and possess you. Believe me. I’ve been there.

Both people need their own lives going on and happening as individuals like they were before they met each other. A relationship is just 1/8th the part of our lives. That’s a small percentage. Allocate the correct percentage.

People lose themselves and a lot of other things when they get involved with someone. It’s sad
 

ohrein

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Seems like you've already figured it out but I'll just reiterate that this woman clearly has no respect for you. Never stay with a woman who doesn't respect you. Her actions are crystal clear. Also, another potential reason for not wanting you to meet her parents is they've already met someone else. Maybe the "friends" she's going to watch games with instead of seeing you.

Either way, I'd never be in a relationship with a woman who didn't have you as a priority. You shouldn't expect to be her only priority, but her actions should say to you, you are a priority in my life and important to me. If you don't get that feeling, the relationship is probably doomed.

And as always, actions speak louder than words.
 

sosousage

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why do you use women for anything else than sex when even below average looking woman all have to do is just to install tinder and could cheat on you with 5 guys during the same day
 

marmel75

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why do you use women for anything else than sex when even below average looking woman all have to do is just to install tinder and could cheat on you with 5 guys during the same day
Here we go...the "new to this stuff" guy that now thinks women should only be used for sex because he has swung from one end of the pendulum to complete opposite end.

Pretty much a sure fire sign somebody has just started learning this stuff... In a year or two once you accept that you were to blame for what happened in the past with the lack of success with women and not them, you'll realize you need to be somewhere in the middle...
 
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greatsnake

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Here we go...the "new to this stuff" guy that now thinks women should only be used for sex because he has swung from one end of the pendulum to complete opposite end.

Pretty much a sure fire sign somebody has just started learning this stuff... In a year you'll realize you need to be somewhere in the middle...
There are people that can only live on opposite ends of things. A middle ground doesn't exist, so he may be that type of person.
 

marmel75

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There are people that can only live on opposite ends of things. A middle ground doesn't exist, so he may be that type of person.
Maybe, but typically this is what happens for the first year or two when they are rigid in their thinking until they start understanding context and fluidity...

I read this so it HAS to be this...instead of interpreting the context and being fluid with their actions...

I was the same way...baby steps...
 

earlkeese

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Another plate I’m spinning just went on a cruise alone with her friends family. A string of bad luck.
 

earlkeese

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UPDATE: I found her on tinder. She has been dating others for a while, but yet she still texts me everyday?
 

earlkeese

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UPDATE 2: I went NC and she wont stop reaching out to me. Like its driving her crazy.
 

flowtheory

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UPDATE 2: I went NC and she wont stop reaching out to me. Like its driving her crazy.
Good. Now; realize your value and walk the eff away, man!
She’s doing that because you’re acting out of her box that she placed you in. Run fast and far to a higher value woman who deserves you
 

Glassguy

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Be a man and dump the bytch......for crying out loud she's fvcking other dudes from tinder and look at her disrespectful track history.

Dont dump her to play games, dump her because you dont want ANY part of this garbage.

Have some self respect man! Its fvcking free for the taking of you still have your balls!
 
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