~~ GF Broke Up with me Because Im Leaving For College....~~

[guambombO]

Hello everyone,

Well, recently my GF left me because Im leaving for college in August. heres the story:

For the past 8 months ive been off and on with my GF, we fight a lot over stupid insecure crap. But, ive come to really really like her a lot, not sure if its love, but close to it. She was the one who told me she loved me about 3 months ago. Sometimes she can be a cold hard ***** but when shes normal, happy, theres no other person id rather be around. Im leaving for college in August and its about 4 hours away. She broke up with me because shes afraid ill cheat, find someone else, or wont have time for her. Ive tried to reassure her otherwise but its no good.

The same thing happened to her about 3 years ago, her BF (first love*) left for college and she stuck with him. He called her one day and asked if he could see her and other girls as well. Broke her heart and she could never forgive him.... Guess shes not willing to do the same for me and shes telling me if I truly loved* her, I wouldnt be doing this. Ive told her I can still visit, maybe even transfer next year, dunno what to do.

Also, is it a good idea that we still go to prom? Im still talking to her, ****y+funny, alittle attention, trying to be a friend but also ignoring at times. I still wanna be with her. Im a senior shes a junior.

Help!

 

[picard]

How far is your school from home? if it isn't far then you can visit her on weekend.

 

[guambombO]

Around 4 hours, problem is transportation though, I think ill get that covered before I leave. My Ex keeps sayin girl find my *ONE* when I get there and ill forget about her. She keeps trying to create this emotional wall to block me out, shes trying to forget we ever existed.

 

[backbreaker]

it should have been the other way around

 

[guambombO]

Yea well its a bit to late for that.

 

[Mr. Anderson]

Yo, I'm in the exact same situation...

So I just had to put my two cents in.

I'm going off to college as well this year in the summer and it's about two hours from here. Sure enough, my girl and I broke up (after two years btw... and yea there were some other issues behind it but this was one of them). After being around two months without her and finding this site my outlook on the situation has changed dramatically.

First of all, you have to ask yourself this: How long did you plan on being with this girl? Okay, so you've been together for eight months. Do you really think you would end up spending one or two more years together? Three? Four? Were you going to marry her? Be real.

Your career is for life (if you do a good job). You can CONTROL how well you do in school and what college you go to (I'm guessing this must be what you envision your 'college match' to be since you're making such a huge sacrifice to get there.) However, you CAN'T control the emotions of a woman in the long run. Even if you did stay with her (out of guilt or "love"), think about it: What if she becomes bored and leaves you in a month, or a year? You will hate her for the rest of your life because you gave up so much for her.

Look forward to college without a girlfriend. I know I am

Oh, and don't let her soften you up by giving you the "IF you really loved me, you would..." routine because that just proves how selfish she is. The fact is if she loved YOU she would understand your position and encourage you to do the right choice. After all, it's your future that's at stake. Not hers (she's still a junior. Who's to say -she- won't go to college next year and leave your ass if you're still with her?)

 

[brucevangeorge]

So I just had to put my two cents in.

I'm going off to college as well this year in the summer and it's about two hours from here. Sure enough, my girl and I broke up (after two years btw... and yea there were some other issues behind it but this was one of them). After being around two months without her and finding this site my outlook on the situation has changed dramatically.

First of all, you have to ask yourself this: How long did you plan on being with this girl? Okay, so you've been together for eight months. Do you really think you would end up spending one or two more years together? Three? Four? Were you going to marry her? Be real.

Your career is for life (if you do a good job). You can CONTROL how well you do in school and what college you go to (I'm guessing this must be what you envision your 'college match' to be since you're making such a huge sacrifice to get there.) However, you CAN'T control the emotions of a woman in the long run. Even if you did stay with her (out of guilt or "love"), think about it: What if she becomes bored and leaves you in a month, or a year? You will hate her for the rest of your life because you gave up so much for her.

Look forward to college without a girlfriend. I know I am

Oh, and don't let her soften you up by giving you the "IF you really loved me, you would..." routine because that just proves how selfish she is. The fact is if she loved YOU she would understand your position and encourage you to do the right choice. After all, it's your future that's at stake. Not hers (she's still a junior. Who's to say -she- won't go to college next year and leave your ass if you're still with her?)

Bum bam bam BUM bam bam BUM. The Dogs of Truth have spoken. Hear ye of little faith!! Hear ye and be resolved!

Nice post mate.

 

[MindOverMatter]

Going into college with a girlfriend is like going to the October Fest with a bottle of beer. It's a waste.

The best thing you can do here is leave on a good note with this girl, and move on to college where you can further explore your options. While you do think your hs sweetheart is the best possible option for you (as we all did at one point), trust me when I say this, it gets better. Be open minded, and date as often as you can for the first 2-3 years and you will look back on this moment and realize how young and (no offense) somewhat naive you were to even desire maintaining the life of a hs relationship. When you are close to graduating college, you will realize what you want in a real, mature relationship, and will have the tools necessery to find it and maintain it.

But for now, let go of this girl, wish her the best, and accept the fact you need to move on in your life.

 

[guambombO]

I had sex with her tonight.........it was great. Was this a totally stupid move on my part?

 

[everywomanshero]

I wouldn't have told her anything in advance. I would've waited until the last minute to tell her. Why would you want to add an element of weirdness, just keep banging her until it's time to leave.

Once you're gone forget about her. Thinking about the creepy guys who are banging the crap out of her while your gone is going to KILL your state and ability to pick up college chicks.

When you hit college it is critical that you establish yourself as a cool guy right off the bat. You can't waste any time. Go overboard rather than under.

I know this sucks man, but it sounds like there was some problems with her anyway. I think she used push/pull to make you emotionally chase her. I want you to stop and think about what's really happened with her, and I want you to consider the possibility that she is good at push/pull as many women are.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

You'll meet millions of girls at college. Have fun.

 

[Wyldfire]

Four hours isn't really that far away...however, one of you will end up getting lonely and giving in to that temptation if you try to have a LDR. She learned this first hand the hard way. She knows what's going to happen and she is trying to protect herself from being hurt again. You can't blame her for that.

 

[Socialreject]

Hey man, seriously, don't get hung up on this...

In a lot of ways, she did you a favor! Long distance relationships SUCK and they hardly ever work out. Location is a much more important factor than many people realize. Location to a relationship is like location in real estate, there is just no substitute for it!

So yeah, take it any way you want to really. Take it as a favor, hate her for it, whatever ;-). I'd say take it as a favor, you can still hang out with her a bit untill you actually make the move. Unless that's to painful for you or her (bah get over it already! ;-) ), i would say just hang out when you feel like it, or don't when you don't feel like it. I read you had sex with her... great! Why not? Nothign wrong with that.

So yeah, i'd say, don't make things more complicated then you have to here. When the time comes to move away just pack your bags and get going, say your goodbye's, that's it! A whole new life and adventure awaits you, enjoy it man!

It's like wyld says, she got hurt before, doesn't want to make the same mistake again etc. I understand what your gf did 100% tbh. You should really think about it and ask your self if YOU are actually planning to be faithful. I think it might be harder than you think! All in all i can't see this any other way as her doing you a favor...

 

[spider_007]

....and shes telling me if I truly loved* her, I wouldnt be doing this..

WHAT!!!!! DON'T YOU DARE PUT OFF YOUR EDUCATION AND RISK REST OF YOUR LIFE FOR A WOMAN. NO METTER HOW MUCH YOU THINK YOU LOVE HER. I CAN'T EVEN BOLIVE SHE HAD THE BALLS TO ASK YOU THIS:box:

 

[squirrels]

Hello everyone,

Well, recently my GF left me because Im leaving for college in August. heres the story:

For the past 8 months ive been off and on with my GF, we fight a lot over stupid insecure crap. But, ive come to really really like her a lot, not sure if its love, but close to it. She was the one who told me she loved me about 3 months ago. Sometimes she can be a cold hard ***** but when shes normal, happy, theres no other person id rather be around. Im leaving for college in August and its about 4 hours away. She broke up with me because shes afraid ill cheat, find someone else, or wont have time for her. Ive tried to reassure her otherwise but its no good.

Cuz she's right. 4 hours is a long way...I haven't even been able to make TWO work for any extended period of time.

You have NO idea how many girls and situations you'll be exposed to in college. Armed with some of the ideas in the PU/seduction community, you will have an EXTREMELY hard time staying faithful to an "on-and-off *****", as you put it.

Also, is it a good idea that we still go to prom? Im still talking to her, ****y+funny, alittle attention, trying to be a friend but also ignoring at times. I still wanna be with her. Im a senior shes a junior.
Help!

Yeah sure, why not? No one's saying you have to stop seeing each other entirely (or stop sexing for that matter). It's just that the distance is going to make any SERIOUS relationship nearly impossible. Maybe she comes down on the weekend every now and then, in the meantime you play the field, she plays the field. If she's "the one", then there won't be any doubt in your mind after those 4 years of college, you can get back together and live happily ever after.

But the bottom line is that, being high-school age, you really don't know sh!t about what you want in a long-termer or what "love" is. It's obvious from the status of your relationship that something's missing for one or both of you. Maybe as you develop as people you'll pick up those things. More likely, you'll start to talk to more and more women around you and start to discover things that make your current relationship a little less powerful than you think it is.

But yeah, you two have a special thing going on now. Take her to prom, finish out the routine, kiss her goodbye and just see how it goes.

I don't think she'll be sitting by the phone waiting for you to call after the first month or two. :nervous:

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

How far is your school from home? if it isn't far then you can visit her on weekend.

This is a textbook ONEitis/AFC response to this. Shame on you, at 39 you should know far better.

Going into college with a girlfriend is like going to the October Fest with a bottle of beer. It's a waste.

This should be a Proverb.

Your Ex did you a favor. She set you free, don't look back now and absolutely don't consider an LDR. On the same note, don't even consider monogamy until you're 28. Get done what YOU want to achieve NOW unencumbered by the responsibilities and liabilities that come along with monogamy. Be a man that women will crave to be associated with and you'll attract not only women, but success itself.

 

[Le Parisien]

Long Distance Relationships (LDR)?
They simply DO NOT work!!!:nono:
I've witnessed so many cases that I can assure you, sooner or later, one party will get tired/bored and give in to temptations. So why bother at the first place.

The only exception is a rather short (like 2 or 3 months) temporary separation for an internship or studies, from which you are sure to go back to where you were.

 

[guambombO]

Wow guys, thankyou for all this usefull info. Its great to see this from different perpectives. Its just really hard when shes almost forcing this not because we hate eachother, but because im moving.

I also forgot to mention that shes atleast an HB8 and im 17 and lost my virginity to her. Im planning to play soccer for this college and this was my first GF in my entire life.

 

[Sp1kez]

I hear you bro...my gf is going to college in august too (i go to local comm college) and she is gonna be an hour away...she always tells me that when she goes she wants me toc ome over and stay with her sometimes,etc... but in the back of my mind I feel that when august comes 'round she will just tell me that she wants to be free and give me the "I need to be free because Im going to college" talk......I dont know what to do but I just wont worry about it until the issue its brought up by her