Getting To A Place Beyond Sex

[TheException]

Its clear a lot of guys dont know how to effectively screen and end up with low quality sub par women. I always advocate for personal responsibility and dont believe men are so helpless that we have to resort to excuses like:

"Women hide their sh1tty qualities"

"But she was BPD"

"She was nice at first"

"But the sex was really good"

These are simply failures in the screening process that manifest themselves as excuses. Making excuses is easy....its much easier to do than to blame some fault on yourself and accept it. Its hard to say "man....she was batsh1t crazy....but I need to do a better job of screening women. I cant believe it took me this long to see the real her".

Get it?

Its in our power to avoid sh1tty women. No one is twisting our arm and forcing us to deal with these crap women. The main reasons we fail in this arena are:
-Get caught up in the sex
-Needy behavior
-cling to any girl that we can get
-lack of standards
-ignoring clear red flags

The mindset you want to progress towards....is one where the SEX DOESNT MATTER. Thats right I said it.....WHERE THE SEX DOESNT MATTER. Any woman you deal with should be having sex with you. So the fact that you guys have hot sex or not need not apply. We need to look beyond sex and judge actual qualities.....you know.....judge her as a *gulp*....person. Some women will be selfish...put them on the bottom. Some will be crazy...put them on the bottom. Some will be BPD....fvck putting them on the bottom, cut them out altogether. Some women will be kind and want to make you feel special....put them higher. Some will be supportive...put them higher. Starting to see this yet?

The only women who are worthy of relationships are those women who ARE AT THE TOP of your pecking order(plates). You dont enter into a relationship with a woman....unless you HONESTLY WOULD RATHER BE WITH HER AND LOSE ALL OTHER PLATES.....rather THAN LOSE THIS ONE PLATE. Its not pedalization....its reality. Men prefer certain women over others. There is no need to lose a good woman over a fear of "putting her on a pedestal". Thats overdosing on the red pill. Its extremely normal to enjoy the company of a woman. Its possible to see them as more than just sex objects...its ok to actually *gulp*.....like them.

Try to get to a place where you only deal with top picks. Dont settle or entertain those not worthy of your attention. No matter what another poster may say about how women are "sh1tty" or "manipulative"....we have the REAL POWER......you simply dont give these low quality women attention....you screen them right the fvck out.

 

[Mike32ct]

Great post. Choosing a LTR partner all or mostly because of hot sex sounds like a recipe for disaster. It's no different than a female getting involved with an abusive bad boy only because of hot sex / 'gina tingle and then complaining about how horribly he treats her.

Of course you need a physical connection. But character is also extremely important for a LTR.

 

[TheCWord]

"But she was BPD"

Man is that ever the mantra for SoSuave these days. I read some of these posts and I'm like, where are you guys finding these girls?

But I get it. Of all the reasons you listed, clinging on to whatever girl you can get is probably culprit #1. I know it was for me throughout the better part of my twenties. The concept of ever turning away a girl because she's a bad match was foreign to me, maybe because I didn't believe I was in any kind of position to be picky.

Now I date and have sex a lot, but very rarely have LTRs. Not because I'm not interested in long term, but because I would rather save myself all the future drama that comes with being with the wrong girl rather than being with any girl. I admit, it makes for some dry spells and some lonely nights by myself drinking whiskey and watching Netflix. But I've been through the opposite - being with a toxic woman - so many times before that I'm able to appreciate the solo nights and have confidence that my long game will work out.

 

[Epimanes]

I agree with the OP.

I am thankful I found a quality woman early on in my life. Sure there has been times when I thought she was "BPD" sure there was times when divorce "felt" right. A lot of those moments were just realizations that we are taking eachother for granted or not getting enough quality time together because of responsibilities of life (sometimes you don't even realize it until its too late).

But I'm glad I stuck it out through those times because my wife is amazing. She enjoys all the same recreations as I do (hunting/camping) she's an Excellent cook, can make anything taste good. She's a SUPERmom to our kids..(Don't know how she does it sometimes) Sometimes she's a bit reserved in bed but occasionally she fires right up after being well rested and wow's me as long as she's had some time to herself and hasn't had to be "over touched and nagged" by children and life isn't being too hard on us. For the most part the non sexual qualities, morals, life goals are the big long term factors for marriage/LTR. If sex is the only quality you are seeking then pray you never get her pregnant because when kids come its really difficult to find time for intimacy or any quality time because you both now share responsibility of looking after a new life. There has to be more than sex..or it will never work out in the long run as life stresses catch up and make you both feel BPD and want to exit the relationship.

Man I love my wife...

 

[JoeMarron]

Its clear a lot of guys dont know how to effectively screen and end up with low quality sub par women.

I agree with everything but this. I think that a lot of dudes simply lack the discipline, willpower, or are too stupid to avoid low quality women. This sh!t really isn't complicated. If a chick gets wasted every weekend, has a fvcked up family, nags and b!tches constantly, and has nothing going for herself besides social media and a herd of orbiters then it should be clear to every man that she's of low quality. Yet anyone can find thousands of men pursuing these type of women for relationships. We like to talk about the female rationalization hamster but humans in general have an astounding capability to rationalize the most illogical behavior. It takes a special breed of man to have the good sense, discipline, willpower, and self esteem to avoid trash women; no matter how good being with them feels, and pursue women of quality.

 

[GotED?]

This is one of the BEST thread this year yet, thanks Exception.

As you can tell, it is only for MASTER DON JUANS too LOL....

I agree wholeheartedly - I have been trying to preach the value of qualifying women for LTR on here recently. I personally don't understand why so many men complain ending up with 'trash' women as I don't encounter that many at all. But again, I personally don't look for ONS, hump & dump, or try to use women either. I respect women as human beings, until they disrespect me - I try to give them a piece of my humaness to share with.

EXPERIENCE is really the ultimate teacher - and also if you are a dumbarse who can't learn from mistakes, you are bound to EXPERIENCE it over and over until you do something different. Men on here expect quality women to just pop up in their life even though they still have not changed a thing in their behavior about women?

HEED THESE COMMANDMENTS:

* Thou shall not be an orbiter
* Thou shall not chase a woman but only show interest
* Thou shall not complain about trash women in a bar when you only go to a bar
* Thou shall not cry AFC tears if you pedestaled her and qualified yourself to her first
* Thou shall not be worthy of your cell phone if you text her other than setting up a date
* Thou shall have your balls cut off if you decide to get attached emotionally more than she does
* Thou shall NOT accept to be friendzoned - NEXT HER instead and keep your dignity
* Thou shall study the red flags of an emotionally, psychologically, and manipulative fooked up woman
* Thou shall not complain where the quality LTR women are if all you care about is ONS and HUMP & DUMP
* Thou shall know you ARE THE PRIZE above all women
* Thou shall know that we MASTER DON JUANS care about you on here, and we will UN-AFC you when you need our support.

Be well.

Exodus

 

[TheException]

I agree with everything but this. I think that a lot of dudes simply lack the discipline, willpower, or are too stupid to avoid low quality women. This sh!t really isn't complicated. If a chick gets wasted every weekend, has a fvcked up family, nags and b!tches constantly, and has nothing going for herself besides social media and a herd of orbiters then it should be clear to every man that she's of low quality. Yet anyone can find thousands of men pursuing these type of women for relationships. We like to talk about the female rationalization hamster but humans in general have an astounding capability to rationalize the most illogical behavior. It takes a special breed of man to have the good sense, discipline, willpower, and self esteem to avoid trash women; no matter how good being with them feels, and pursue women of quality.

I agree with everything you said. Not sure where we disagree....

I think both being unable to screen properly due to the lack of experience and knowledge goes hand and hand with being a dumba$$ and "settling" for a low quality woman. Having a lack of other options is the biggest factor is this usually.

 

[TheException]

This is one of the BEST thread this year yet, thanks Exception.

As you can tell, it is only for MASTER DON JUANS too LOL....

I agree wholeheartedly - I have been trying to preach the value of qualifying women for LTR on here recently. I personally don't understand why so many men complain ending up with 'trash' women as I don't encounter that many at all. But again, I personally don't look for ONS, hump & dump, or try to use women either. I respect women as human beings, until they disrespect me - I try to give them a piece of my humaness to share with.

EXPERIENCE is really the ultimate teacher - and also if you are a dumbarse who can't learn from mistakes, you are bound to EXPERIENCE it over and over until you do something different. Men on here expect quality women to just pop up in their life even though they still have not changed a thing in their behavior about women?

HEED THESE COMMANDMENTS:

* Thou shall not be an orbiter
* Thou shall not chase a woman but only show interest
* Thou shall not complain about trash women in a bar when you only go to a bar
* Thou shall not cry AFC tears if you pedestaled her and qualified yourself to her first
* Thou shall not be worthy of your cell phone if you text her other than setting up a date
* Thou shall have your balls cut off if you decide to get attached emotionally more than she does
* Thou shall NOT accept to be friendzoned - NEXT HER instead and keep your dignity
* Thou shall study the red flags of an emotionally, psychologically, and manipulative fooked up woman
* Thou shall not complain where the quality LTR women are if all you care about is ONS and HUMP & DUMP
* Thou shall know you ARE THE PRIZE above all women
* Thou shall know that we MASTER DON JUANS care about you on here, and we will UN-AFC you when you need our support.

Be well.

Exodus

Amen. I fully recommend those commandments.

 

[Starfvcks 64]

This is such a good post, and I think it covers what a lot of guys forget or don't understand. Pursue sex, not a relationship. You can have a relationship, but it shouldn't be even slightly serious until the girl has proven herself to you, after spending a lot of time with her.

It's so easy and peaceful that way, yet a lot of guys who aren't into the "red pill" ideals consider such a basic concept wrong.

 

[El Payaso]

This is one of the BEST thread this year yet, thanks Exception.

As you can tell, it is only for MASTER DON JUANS too LOL....

I agree wholeheartedly - I have been trying to preach the value of qualifying women for LTR on here recently. I personally don't understand why so many men complain ending up with 'trash' women as I don't encounter that many at all. But again, I personally don't look for ONS, hump & dump, or try to use women either. I respect women as human beings, until they disrespect me - I try to give them a piece of my humaness to share with.

EXPERIENCE is really the ultimate teacher - and also if you are a dumbarse who can't learn from mistakes, you are bound to EXPERIENCE it over and over until you do something different. Men on here expect quality women to just pop up in their life even though they still have not changed a thing in their behavior about women?

HEED THESE COMMANDMENTS:

* Thou shall not be an orbiter
* Thou shall not chase a woman but only show interest
* Thou shall not complain about trash women in a bar when you only go to a bar
* Thou shall not cry AFC tears if you pedestaled her and qualified yourself to her first
* Thou shall not be worthy of your cell phone if you text her other than setting up a date
* Thou shall have your balls cut off if you decide to get attached emotionally more than she does
* Thou shall NOT accept to be friendzoned - NEXT HER instead and keep your dignity
* Thou shall study the red flags of an emotionally, psychologically, and manipulative fooked up woman
* Thou shall not complain where the quality LTR women are if all you care about is ONS and HUMP & DUMP
* Thou shall know you ARE THE PRIZE above all women
* Thou shall know that we MASTER DON JUANS care about you on here, and we will UN-AFC you when you need our support.

Be well.

Exodus

Excellent top notch post!!

 

[goldengoose]

Its clear a lot of guys dont know how to effectively screen and end up with low quality sub par women. I always advocate for personal responsibility and dont believe men are so helpless that we have to resort to excuses like:

"Women hide their sh1tty qualities"

"But she was BPD"

"She was nice at first"

"But the sex was really good"

These are simply failures in the screening process that manifest themselves as excuses. Making excuses is easy....its much easier to do than to blame some fault on yourself and accept it. Its hard to say "man....she was batsh1t crazy....but I need to do a better job of screening women. I cant believe it took me this long to see the real her".

Get it?

Its in our power to avoid sh1tty women. No one is twisting our arm and forcing us to deal with these crap women. The main reasons we fail in this arena are:
-Get caught up in the sex
-Needy behavior
-cling to any girl that we can get
-lack of standards
-ignoring clear red flags

The mindset you want to progress towards....is one where the SEX DOESNT MATTER. Thats right I said it.....WHERE THE SEX DOESNT MATTER. Any woman you deal with should be having sex with you. So the fact that you guys have hot sex or not need not apply. We need to look beyond sex and judge actual qualities.....you know.....judge her as a *gulp*....person. Some women will be selfish...put them on the bottom. Some will be crazy...put them on the bottom. Some will be BPD....fvck putting them on the bottom, cut them out altogether. Some women will be kind and want to make you feel special....put them higher. Some will be supportive...put them higher. Starting to see this yet?

The only women who are worthy of relationships are those women who ARE AT THE TOP of your pecking order(plates). You dont enter into a relationship with a woman....unless you HONESTLY WOULD RATHER BE WITH HER AND LOSE ALL OTHER PLATES.....rather THAN LOSE THIS ONE PLATE. Its not pedalization....its reality. Men prefer certain women over others. There is no need to lose a good woman over a fear of "putting her on a pedestal". Thats overdosing on the red pill. Its extremely normal to enjoy the company of a woman. Its possible to see them as more than just sex objects...its ok to actually *gulp*.....like them.

Try to get to a place where you only deal with top picks. Dont settle or entertain those not worthy of your attention. No matter what another poster may say about how women are "sh1tty" or "manipulative"....we have the REAL POWER......you simply dont give these low quality women attention....you screen them right the fvck out.

I mostly disagree with this post. Your message of not to settle for a sh1tty woman is what every man should think about and not do. But you are way off with your screening aspect. Women will always have the highest interest at the start of a relationship. Sometimes it begins to decline as it progresses. That is not the fault of the man not screening properly at the start of the relationship. BPD's will show you their good side at the start of the relationship. As you are screening, you see the side they show you. Later on you find out who they really are. Screening can only do so much if all that you see from them is what they are showing you. Once the relationship begins is when you truly find out who that person is. If you stick around for the b.s. and drama that is your fault. But if you think that screening will prevent you from getting a bad woman altogether, then you are sadly mistaken. You can get screwed by anyone at anytime. Everybody should know that.

 

[JoeMarron]

I agree with everything you said. Not sure where we disagree....

I think both being unable to screen properly due to the lack of experience and knowledge goes hand and hand with being a dumba$$ and "settling" for a low quality woman. Having a lack of other options is the biggest factor is this usually.

My argument was that it wasn't due to lack of experience or knowledge but that some men simply lack the capability to not settle for a low quality woman. A low self esteem dude with nothing going for him in his life isn't going to have the willpower to turn down pvssy regardless of how fvcked up it is. Once he becomes a man that he and others can respect, he'll naturally avoid these type of women.

I mostly disagree with this post. Your message of not to settle for a sh1tty woman is what every man should think about and not do. But you are way off with your screening aspect. Women will always have the highest interest at the start of a relationship. Sometimes it begins to decline as it progresses. That is not the fault of the man not screening properly at the start of the relationship. BPD's will show you their good side at the start of the relationship. As you are screening, you see the side they show you. Later on you find out who they really are. Screening can only do so much if all that you see from them is what they are showing you. Once the relationship begins is when you truly find out who that person is. If you stick around for the b.s. and drama that is your fault. But if you think that screening will prevent you from getting a bad woman altogether, then you are sadly mistaken. You can get screwed by anyone at anytime. Everybody should know that.

I find it hard to believe that a woman can hide her true nature 100% of the time, she's bound to slip up every now and then. Plus screening isn't just about looking at the woman's behavior it's about looking at her past and her lifestyle. What's her family like, what are her hobbies, how many partners has she had, has she suffered any abuse in the past, does she have low self esteem, etc.

 

[goldengoose]

I find it hard to believe that a woman can hide her true nature 100% of the time, she's bound to slip up every now and then. Plus screening isn't just about looking at the woman's behavior it's about looking at her past and her lifestyle. What's her family like, what are her hobbies, how many partners has she had, has she suffered any abuse in the past, does she have low self esteem, etc.

How many failed relatiionships and marriages are there today? You're going to tell me that just screening will help you not get a bad woman? How are you going to know how many partners she actually had if she doesn't tell you the excact number? How are you going to know about any past abuse if she isn't forthcoming in telling you? How can you screen for that if you don't know what you're screening for? If everything appears normal to you, why would you think anything of it? Everything will appear normal to you, then one day months into the relationship, slips up will occiur and you will find stuff out and she will have different behavior. You think that screening would help detect that when everything was normal before? Any chick can be into you and then lose interest. Is that the fault of screening or the chick herself?

 

[JoeMarron]

How many failed relatiionships and marriages are there today? You're going to tell me that just screening will help you not get a bad woman? How are you going to know how many partners she actually had if she doesn't tell you the excact number? How are you going to know about any past abuse if she isn't forthcoming in telling you? How can you screen for that if you don't know what you're screening for? If everything appears normal to you, why would you think anything of it? Everything will appear normal to you, then one day months into the relationship, slips up will occiur and you will find stuff out and she will have different behavior. You think that screening would help detect that when everything was normal before? Any chick can be into you and then lose interest. Is that the fault of screening or the chick herself?

The amount of failed relationships today is indicative of the fact that men aren't screening right. You know damn well the average dude barely does any screening. Just looking at the threads from newcomers will tell you that. A man is never going to know for sure his girl's exact number of partners, whether she was abused or any other necessary information but he can still form an idea. Women will expose this stuff one way or another, maybe not directly but if a man is observant he can piece certain things about a woman together. Other things are just plainly obvious. If her parents are divorced and she has a sh!tty relationship with her dad then you already know she's bound to have some issues. If she has 500 male friends on her facebook then you know she's probably an attention wh0re.

As far as low interest is concerned, that's not what I or this post was talking about. You screen to figure out if the chick is crazy/low quality. The only thing you can do about interest is be as awesome as you can be. At the end of the day screening is about stacking the deck in your favor. Sure there's always going to be a chance that a woman that you thought was decent turns on you. However, the less red flags a woman has, the less likely the chance that a relationship with her will be a waste of time.

 

[Jariel]

Well said!

I always find myself looking back at bad relationships and seeing a load of red flags in hindsight, all of which I chose to ignore.

 

[skinnyguy]

Being desperate for puss is the worst thing that could happen cause you easily get manipulated and you tolerate all kinds of bad behavior in the hope you get laid.

 

[Atom Smasher]

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to TheException again."

For you guys who say you can't discern a lot of a woman's background, that ability comes with age & experience. In fact, I actually wish I didn't have such a finely-tuned ability to determine these things. You get so good at it that it becomes a bit of a burden because you realize things about her that you would rather not even be aware of.

 

[TheCWord]

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to TheException again."

For you guys who say you can't discern a lot of a woman's background, that ability comes with age & experience. In fact, I actually wish I didn't have such a finely-tuned ability to determine these things. You get so good at it that it becomes a bit of a burden because you realize things about her that you would rather not even be aware of.

C'mon, Uncle Atom. That's like saying you're disappointed you found out she's a bomb maker before she had a chance to blow up Times Square.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Some things are uncomfortable but not deal-breakers. Of course I'm glad when I discover she's not worth my efforts, but as for the ones who have baggage that I'd rather not be on my mind, that's where it's a liability. I seem to have a 6th sense to sniff out these things.

 

[Serenity]

This post is so true! I've been through the phases at record time from bottom to top. Although I don't see a fvck buddy or one night stand as wrong, it does require being absolutely clear about what is going on. Low quality girls come flying in from all directions, because I don't need or want them. I would rather be alone than to have a relationship filled with drama. As we grow we learn to see the ones worth our time, the ones we didn't see before. We then have freedom to choose. Get rid of anyone attempting to take away this freedom, and keep to the ones who respects and understand it.

I haven't made many mistakes, I just made an effort to learn from others who did. When we feel really good is the time to sort through personal issues, because that's the time we think more clearly. Don't waste this resource simply on entertaining yourself, that time will come when you have learned.