Getting over bad days

[gonnamakeit]

Yestarday I decided to do 10 approaches I did them and got blown out on all of them. One of them included haveing a train full of people laughing at me for the rest of the ride while I almost cryed in embarresment my confidence went down with each one I feel horrible today how do I get over it and regain my confidence.

 

[Love]

Dude I would love to get laughed at by a whole train full of people.

No fake.

 

[chuchu]

Bad days? Those are the good days.

 

[kingman]

Yestarday I decided to do 10 approaches I did them and got blown out on all of them. One of them included haveing a train full of people laughing at me for the rest of the ride while I almost cryed in embarresment my confidence went down with each one I feel horrible today how do I get over it and regain my confidence.

Seriously, I think you did great.............. It would give me a confidence boost if I had done that... Who cares about what other people thinks?

Most of them probably envy you to have the guts to do that.


This is how I think of it when I approach hotties.... WHo else that I no has the guts to do that? ( and I get a confidence boost )

And its there loss if I got rejected. Who cares, they can have a boyfriend ore be lesbian!!!

 

[In2theGame]

Yestarday I decided to do 10 approaches I did them and got blown out on all of them. One of them included haveing a train full of people laughing at me for the rest of the ride while I almost cryed in embarresment my confidence went down with each one I feel horrible today how do I get over it and regain my confidence.

Kepp that head up HIGH!!!! FUK the Haters, i say it again Fuk the HATERS. its just one day out of your life. no big deal.

 

[DonGorgon]

Yestarday I decided to do 10 approaches I did them and got blown out on all of them. One of them included haveing a train full of people laughing at me for the rest of the ride while I almost cryed in embarresment my confidence went down with each one I feel horrible today how do I get over it and regain my confidence.

Wow.. no dude should ever ever laugh at another dude getting rejected cause we all get rejected very often in our lives, much more than the average i woman i might add...

MOst people are SAD and disgruntled and the only way they feel better is by admiring the misfortune of others...

 

[gonnamakeit]

Thanks for the replies I feel much better. Yesterday I got over it and was thinking stuff like that being proud of myself for doing it and thinking they don't even have the balls to do it themselves and one day they'll be watching me makeing out with the girls on the train.

I think the main reason I felt crappy again today was I got this horrible allergic reaction and am just sitting at home unable to do anything in pain so it put me in a negative mood.

Looking back also some of them were pretty funny and that was probably my worst fear and hell I survived to tell the tale. Also all but one of the approaches was women who were 25-30 and I am 16 and look young so when I go back to school those girls will seem easy as hell.
Edit: After I posted this I looked at my signature and realize I have to remember that.

 

[SharinganUser]

What happened on the train that made all those people laugh?

 

[gonnamakeit]

I was really nervouse because I am pretty new at this and had just got basicly ignored twice in a row. There is a girl and her freind with listening to an ipod she is wearing a bracelet I stutter like crazy asking her what her bracelet says. Since I could see a few letters but not the whole thing (thought it said puerto rico so was going to start a convo about that)
She ignores me I try getting her attention much more nervouse her freind kind of taps her to let her know at this point in the super crowded train everyone is staring at me.
She looks at her glances at me for a second and looks at her freind with one of those looks (can't describe like EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW without saying it) the girl next to her who she doesn't know feels really sorry for me and taps her and gestures to me so she says uuuuuuuuuhhhhh (in a your a dumbass peace of **** type of way) puerto ricco.
After that I say in a really weird crackling up and down tone voice due to embarresment and nervouseness OOh I went there last summer)
They ignored me so I am standing there not able to leave directly next to the girl with everyone on the train staring at me and many of them laughing or trying not to laugh and I was getting redder and redder each second. I was on still on the train for something like 5-10 minutes but it felt like 2-3 hours.

 

[gonnamakeit]

**** thinking it over again made me just as nervouse as when it happened and feel just as crappy as before.

 

[SharinganUser]

Well, life would be pretty boring if everything were easy. Atleast you came a way with a good story.

 

[SharinganUser]

I don't really see what you have to feel crappy about.

 

[gonnamakeit]

I felt fine yestarday it is probably the rash my entire body is covered by it it hurts like hell I can not do anything but sit at home playing the rejections over in my head. I get this allergic reaction rash thing almost every year and it makes me depressed and I am takeing mega benadryl doses that might be messing with me mentally.
What I was really upset about was that normally I am nervouse to approach but I would just make myself do it and the words would just flow out of my mouth and I would feel great after doing it. And I have gotten rejected but afterward I got a really good short convo seconds later ending on a high note and proud of myself for doing what I set out to do.
But this time I did the same things but when the words just came out of my mouth they came out terrible and there was no improvent or finishing on a high note and it really decreased my confidence since I went up with an empty head a few times and did terrible so I didn't truse myself to do it next time so I feel like I took 10 steps back in my skills and confidence instead of 10 steps foward.

And I know the cure would be to man up and get back out there and have a better day or exercise but I can't do anything but sit at home with my horrible rash playing it in my head over and over.

But I geuss I'll just have a few ups and downs today and get over it.

 

[DrD77]

You shouldn't feel crappy at all. You are a winner. You gained experience yesterday by approaching all of those women. Why you approached 25-30 year old women is beyong because you are only 16, maybe thats why you got rejected so much?? You should feel proud of yourself though. Who cares about how many numbers you got, its the field experience that matters.

 

[gonnamakeit]

Alright I am good now I think the main thing I was upset about was that with each approach my AA got worse and it is worse today than it was but I will think of confidence like building a muscle you break it down it is weaker than it recovers and gets stronger also I will try this stuff. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlIrvu78NO0

 

[DonGorgon]

Well, life would be pretty boring if everything were easy. Atleast you came a way with a good story.

BUT IT WIOULD BE LESS STRESS fULL AND MUCH HAPPIER TOO... sooo hmm

 

[sprint]

Dude you made some serious mistakes. first, don't approach girls who are way older than you at your age. A 25-30 year old does not want a 16 year old guy. Sorry. Just work on girls around your own age (no older than 18). You can game older chicks when you're older and in college.

Also, you approached 2 girls on a crowded train. What the hell were you thinking? You need to make wiser approaches. Sure you can go pure cold but you'll get blown out most of the time. Approach in more comfortable settings so you won't be so nervous and you won't catch her so off guard.

Next, you need to work on inner game. You were stumbling and nervous for the whole interaction. That's a huge sign of weakness.

So basically just make more opportune approaches. Maybe go when there's a hint of interest. Just don't do random stuff in public and closed places. You need to be able to eject quickly (even if things go well). I'm not a huge fan of cold approaches but they'll be fine if you're smart about it.

 

[gonnamakeit]

Ya I know. I was trying to put myself in the hardest possible situations to hopefully get the best results. I also wanted to make sure I could make no excuses for example ooo she looks too old oooh she looks angy or she doesn't want to talk and is listening to an ipod and I would end up doing no approaches.

I was very nervouse because I put tremendouse pressure on myself to get the approaches done and I had the rash and was on tons of benadryl so I was way out of it but I had promised myself the night before that I was going to do 10 approaches no matter what regardless of the girls ages.

But now that I am feeling better I will work some inner game and the good thing now approaching a girl my age who is alone who gives me eye contact seems like a complete joke.

My goal wasn't even to get a girl or numbers it was just to improve my confidence and skills with girls. The main reason I was upset was that instead of getting more confident through out the day I was getting less confident and my AA was much higher and I was upset because I thought the AA would be permenent.

Thanks for the tip about inner game that is my main problem because when I am "on" and relaxed every girl I talk to smiles before I even open my mouthI did that tapping thing for this memory and now feel way better I also am working on hypnoticas stuff. Any other things you found that really helped your inner game?

One last thing you guys don't need to be totally specific to the situation just any other ideas you have to get over bad days that could help anyone reading this.

 

[SharinganUser]

BUT IT WIOULD BE LESS STRESS fULL AND MUCH HAPPIER TOO... sooo hmm

No.... Just no.

 

[ready123]

Alright I am good now I think the main thing I was upset about was that with each approach my AA got worse and it is worse today than it was but I will think of confidence like building a muscle you break it down it is weaker than it recovers and gets stronger also I will try this stuff.

I give you props. there are guys my age who can't even open their mouth to handle one rejection, 10 rejections in tough social situations for the sake of learning is impressive

sometimes you just have off days so you go home feeling like crap, shrug it off and you're fine after a couple hrs. it happens

as far as inner game - it'll fix itself the more experience you get and the larger your comfort zone gets. what you're doing each approach is forcing yourself to step outside your comfort zone. those negative emotions that make you feel like crap will lose their strength the more you put yourself out there. your mind will quickly reframe these experiences as something to learn from and/or laugh at

IE "I tried to hit on some girl on the train and the whole train laughed at me, it was fvckin hilarious!" as opposed to "I hit on some girl and she rejected me and everyone laughed at me... *sniff sniff* *starts crying*"

every approach, try and figure out what you did wrong. take your best guess and then next time, recalibrate. this is how you learn

and don't listen to what some of the other dudes said about your age or being in a crowded place. you're just approaching, that's totally doable