Getting LDR to invest in relationship

Thorninmyside

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Recently I had a LDR end when my SO went back to a previous LDR. Huge surprise as IL was extreme, but it occurred to me that I've been the one investing most in the relationship. Total chump move on my part.

It occurred to me today that the the edge that the other dude had was investment. Hers. They have history, so if IL was equal when this douche started sniffing around again and made his move, I can easily see the girl saying to herself "we have so much history together". Plus, he always made her travel to him, not the other way around. Smart move I must say.

So, for my education if I end up in another LDR, I want to know what specific things you can do in a LDR (exclusive or not), to build investment. It's obviously quite different to the things you can do in an everyday face to face relationship.
 

Sofomore

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Just got out of a LDR. I was the one investing too much into it. I saw her IL drop so I ended it. Take a big fvcking step back and analyze the situation. Are you actually going to be happy clinging on to this woman?
 

Thorninmyside

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No, not on this woman who I'm over now, but when I'm out of a relationship, I want to learn the lessons.

I know the pitfalls of LDR, but there are guys among you who've had to do it that way for a time until circumstances allow you to be together full time.
 

JoeMarron

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Most of the men here will tell you to never get in an exclusive LDR and I'll tell you the same thing. However, I'm a hypocrite because I'm in an LDR atm. If you choose to ignore our advice and get into an LDR I can offer you some advice.

You're right about investment. In any relationship and especially an LDR you always want to have the woman investing more than you are. Have her do most of the traveling, have her pay for most of it, let her contact you more than you do her, you get the idea. Skype is your friend, use it. Sexting! This is perhaps the most important one. Give her a reason to travel half way across the country to see you. Engage her mind to the point where she's constantly fantasizing about you, sending you naughty pics, and touching herself on skype. Do all of this right and you'll have sex marathons every time you see each other. The emotional roller coaster if her being with you, leaving and doing it all over again will have her madly in love with you in no time.
 

Starfvcks 64

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Just don't even consider an LTR.

Here is a much better option:
Talk to the girl OCCASIONALLY, to keep and build her interest so when she comes to your town you can hook up with her. Keep her in the background, as something that MAYBE could happen in the future.
That involves two very important things:
1) Pursue other girl's as well
2) Don't get any feelings
 

rascal99v

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Thorninmyside said:
Recently I had a LDR end when my SO went back to a previous LDR. Huge surprise as IL was extreme, but it occurred to me that I've been the one investing most in the relationship. Total chump move on my part.

It occurred to me today that the the edge that the other dude had was investment. Hers. They have history, so if IL was equal when this douche started sniffing around again and made his move, I can easily see the girl saying to herself "we have so much history together". Plus, he always made her travel to him, not the other way around. Smart move I must say.
This happens in any relationship. Doesn't mater how far away it is. The more you put in, the less you get. The harder you work, the more you invest. The more you are doing, shows you are not in control. The person doing the least amount is the one in charge. Betas always put in more effort than a woman ever does. It's more likely that he dumped her and she went back to him. You will fail every time when you try to make a chick invest more into a relationship. Her feelings and attraction is not there. She should be investing more into it on her own. Even more so for an LDR. You should be putting in less than a chick. You can't have an LDR with a chick who has low IL. You won't get laid. You won't get what you want out of it. It won't work.


How far of an LDR are we talking about here?

Thorninmyside said:
So, for my education if I end up in another LDR, I want to know what specific things you can do in a LDR (exclusive or not), to build investment. It's obviously quite different to the things you can do in an everyday face to face relationship.

Some guys say to stay away from LDR's. I say that's lame.

If you know what you're doing, it works out very well. When you can get some good pvssy out of it, it's all worth it. :yes:

LDR's should be strictly used for fvck buddy relationships. Nothing else. Never invest too heavily into an LDR because it will bite you in the ass. Always put in the minimal effort. Make the chick come to see you as much as you can. She should be willing to come to you a lot early in the relationship. Chicks interest in LDR's will fade depending on the dude or what other dudes she has nearby. So, get the most out of it in the first few months.

LDR's are good because you can mix them in with your other plates. Sex is a given and you can use her for the whole weekend if you want. You need to be in contact more than a chick that lives close by. Don't go days without talking because she will have other dudes hitting her up. If you're silent, she will have those dudes to keep her company. Communication is important in an LDR so talk or text just about everyday or other day.
.
Don't let your LDR be your only chick. You're asking for trouble when you do that. Always have other chicks to date and bang besides her. Chicks in LDR's can easily lie and cheat on you. You're not around to know what's really going on. That's why you use her as much as you can in the beginning. The show is over if you get excuses, her refusing to come, or can sense low IL. You need to dump. That means she's found another dude close by. She's just waiting for the right time to dump you. You will have had your fun with her, but you will have other chicks to keep you occupied.

I've done a couple of LDR's and got over a year max with both. The chicks were cool and I was always doing less. I used them for weekends (or whenever) and just used them as long distance plates. Worked well for me and I got what I wanted out of it.

My friend had a relationship turn into an LDR. He had to move for work but it worked out for him. His girlfriend is great and they made it work. They are getting married in December. Knew a couple of other guys who had them. The chicks ended up cheating on both. They fvcked up because they were doing more and was the only chick they had. They invested in it too much. Which is why they both failed.

I had a chick come over last night who lives an hour away. We fvcked for a few hours and she ended up spending the night. She even made me an awesome breakfast this morning. I didn't have to pay one dime. She did all the driving and used up her gas.

Just don't invest too much into it and you should do good. I really wouldn't seek out an LTR because there are plenty of chicks close by. But when you're getting pvssy on command, then who cares how far it's coming. Right? :up:
 

Married Buried

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Did you ever get paranoid she was cheating and clingy calling her all the time? My current thing started in a ldr and I always acted like I trusted her 100% even though I new there is a good chance she was getting laid behind my back... but she never acted shady so I am wondering she may have been faithful who knows.. point is I never showed my fears even when she sh!t tested me that her ex texted her to meet up. I simply said "ignore it time for a clean slate" she agreed.

Met her online after talking for a week SHE bought the tickets to fly in ..I was shocked she did that after a week, I guess I games her good.. she knew I was getting divorced too chics love that drama crap.

I bought her tickets once she did it twice I never went to her state. Sent her flowers once and another gift thats it.

Some days I never contacted her at all. She usually would by the end but went 1 or do days silent but never 2 in a row. They have game too. Screw this "going to bed together" on skype crap. I never even called her maybe once a week and talked for 10 minutes. Never used skype.

Never once called her at night to check up and see what she was doing. It baffled her. Mostly just texted during the day, that was my preference.. hate the phone and hate skype.

She was trying to get me to expose jealousy.. she even asked why I don't get jealous.. truth is I am to the point where I simply don't give a **** anymore. But if i find out anything shady she will be dropped immediately.

Then I find out her ex is this big thug looking dude who begs and cries for her back all the time. This is why there is no need to worry the competition are 99 percent simps.

I don't even see a need to DUMP a LDR. IF she loses interest just disappear and find other women. LDR's who lose interest will get the dump by vanishing.
 

gravityeyelids

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
never do ldrs.
This x1000. The ONLY exception being when you're dating a girl normally for a while and you guys have to move home or otherwise separate logistically for a few months or a summer or whatever. Then i think it's doable.
 

Married Buried

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Jair213 said:
ldr's are a pile of sh!!ttt ill never do one again in my life smh
They are cool if the girl has plans to move close soon after you meet her like in my case.. just had to keep it going for a couple months. If there were no plans to move then I wouldnt do it
 

Fireballs

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I'm in a temporary LDR at the moment. We started out normally and due to work we have been apart for 4 weeks with 3 weeks to go until she moves to where I am, and man it fvcking sucks. I don't know how some of you did it for so long.
 

Thorninmyside

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Holy thread necro! I don't even recognise the betafag in the OP. I've come quite a way and had a number of girls since the dark time that brought me here.
 
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