"the friends zone" i know we have all been in that situation that we cant get out of and there is no way of getting out of it.in other words hell. but lately i have been having a grand argument with my friends and they keep telling me that "your girlfriend is your best friend". and i keep telling them that it wont last long if it is like that.but afterall they are my chump friends and dont know any better. we'll i just want to prove them wrong with some of your past expirience or encounters . i apreciate any type of feedback on this matter......im out DB9
getting back to the subject of the "friends zone"
- Thread starter DB9
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I have a different view on things. If a girl says to you, "Let's just be friends" you know it's over because that's as far as it gets since there is something about you that she isn't attracted to. I mean, you wouldn't tell a girl that was attracted to you, "Let's just be friends" unless you weren't attracted to them.
I am the type that doesn't put my girlfriend before everything else. I'm always challenging her to keep up, but we still have fun with eachother. And she's having fun in the relationship.
And I would never have my girlfriend as my best friend if I could do any different. Girls don't make good best friends in general, since you can't tell her about guy stuff, just like you don't really want to know about the logistics of her period. Besides, if you put her up top, things will be a wreck if you are ever to lose her. You can't always think you'll have her forever, many other factors come in.
For the most part DB9, you're right. Getting into the friends zone is hell, and that's the point where you give up romantic interest in a person. I need my boy's night out and I need my chill time with the guys. When I'm with my girlfriend, I just make sure she has a good time, cause that's kinda what girls want. They don't need to know your life story or your daily problems, they'll figure that all out as time moves on. I would get bored if anybody sat me down and told me all the problems they've been having and all of their issues and all the pessimistic stuff people naturally think.
Before my girlfriend, I was the nice guy type. The AFC, I told girls everything I thought they wanted to hear. I tried being open to them about my life and I tried turning them into a friend before I tried dating them. But they all saw me as was a friend. Girls and guys think differently. They want a man, not a girlscout buddy to tell them everything, they got girlfriends for that. Just like you want a woman, not some masculine girl who likes to watch football with you and drink beer.
I am the type that doesn't put my girlfriend before everything else. I'm always challenging her to keep up, but we still have fun with eachother. And she's having fun in the relationship.
And I would never have my girlfriend as my best friend if I could do any different. Girls don't make good best friends in general, since you can't tell her about guy stuff, just like you don't really want to know about the logistics of her period. Besides, if you put her up top, things will be a wreck if you are ever to lose her. You can't always think you'll have her forever, many other factors come in.
For the most part DB9, you're right. Getting into the friends zone is hell, and that's the point where you give up romantic interest in a person. I need my boy's night out and I need my chill time with the guys. When I'm with my girlfriend, I just make sure she has a good time, cause that's kinda what girls want. They don't need to know your life story or your daily problems, they'll figure that all out as time moves on. I would get bored if anybody sat me down and told me all the problems they've been having and all of their issues and all the pessimistic stuff people naturally think.
Before my girlfriend, I was the nice guy type. The AFC, I told girls everything I thought they wanted to hear. I tried being open to them about my life and I tried turning them into a friend before I tried dating them. But they all saw me as was a friend. Girls and guys think differently. They want a man, not a girlscout buddy to tell them everything, they got girlfriends for that. Just like you want a woman, not some masculine girl who likes to watch football with you and drink beer.
Maybe in Lik's experiance it has worked differently. But IMO you need to have a seperate life from ur gf, not having her as your best friend. When things get ugly and you loose your gf you will also loose your best friend at the same time, is that ideal - no.
Again, like with phoning, you do not at such an early stage in your life want to have your life wrapped around one girl, in what is sometimes referred to as 'oneitis'.
Again, like with phoning, you do not at such an early stage in your life want to have your life wrapped around one girl, in what is sometimes referred to as 'oneitis'.
I still have my male best friends and spend just as much time with each of the 3.
I like having a female bestfriend. I have 2 female and 2 male. If they fit, why not?
Ofcourse some won't be any good at that role... all depends on who you are and who she is.
I like having a female bestfriend. I have 2 female and 2 male. If they fit, why not?
Ofcourse some won't be any good at that role... all depends on who you are and who she is.
Well... the term "best" kinda means the best single one. Not all your good friends can be your "best" friend. But I think this post is about the single best friend that you run to all the time. And in my opinion, your girlfriend isn't well suited for that position, since there's always the chance of losing her.
I see your point. Yeah you can lose your girlfriend but that's not gonna stop me. If she deserves it than she can damn well be up there. This is my first gf to also be a bestf. I must say it's great. Even if you do lose her, it's only temporary. Unless you're into the whole no ex girlfriends as friends.
Heh, I wouldn't like an ex-girlfriend as a friend. First off, you had intimate relations with the person, sometimes when I'm with my girlfriend, I can't help but to grab her by the waist, push her against a wall, and give her the most passionate kiss that I could offer. Being with her, but not being able to do that, is just torture.
Breakups rarely end on a high note and even when they do, one person usually still has feelings, they are rarely ever mutual. You might think she's the most amazing person in the world now and that nothing will ever break you apart, but by experience, things happen, and things definitely change.
If you could possibly keep a ex-girlfriend as a friend, well good for you. But never count on it, especially a best friend. There are just too many things you wouldn't be able to talk about, such as your future with another girl, and that basically throws out the possibility of her being your best friend.
In general, I in ex-girlfriend making good friends. Just too much drama involved.
Breakups rarely end on a high note and even when they do, one person usually still has feelings, they are rarely ever mutual. You might think she's the most amazing person in the world now and that nothing will ever break you apart, but by experience, things happen, and things definitely change.
If you could possibly keep a ex-girlfriend as a friend, well good for you. But never count on it, especially a best friend. There are just too many things you wouldn't be able to talk about, such as your future with another girl, and that basically throws out the possibility of her being your best friend.
In general, I in ex-girlfriend making good friends. Just too much drama involved.
yea jsh i think you should keep things seperate between your aquaintances,friend,best friends and your girlfriend or girlfriends
nrm yea so would I and to help out anyone with insecurities and issues i recommend looking up this book called the power of positive thinking by norman vincent peale. this can really help out alot of you aspiring dj's
nrm thats where alot of my afc friends screw up and don't even know it.
lmao well stated
nrm you could say we think alike
well i really like the feedback i have been getting on this topic thanks alot guys. well i leave lik's response for last, about your current girlfriend whats the full story on her how long have you known her and been with her ? and do you think you can do what you did with this girl with any girl? im out thanx guys DB9
I have a few different categories that I use when I know and meet people. But the two that I make sure never mingle is the different between my girlfriend and my friends.
I treat my girlfriend like a girlfriend and my friends like friends. By treating my girlfriend like a girlfriend, I am not treating her like trash, so don't think she doesn't deserves the position of girlfriend. Afterall... that's what she is. I think the deal is sweet enough having her on the only slot on my girlfriend roster, why does she need to be my best friend too if we're having fun and like how things are going? The more time we spend together, the more we find out about eachother naturally, so we never get bored of eachother.
Losing friends is tough. Losing a girlfriend could be tougher. But losing the best friend you have and the only woman you had at the same time is just too much. The main point of this thread is considering the idea that we should not put a girl that we are dating at best friend status, not if we have others to fall back on, or how much she deserves it. I won't put my girl on a pedastal and she knows that, but she's happy being my girl right next to me.
DB9: You pretty much know what you're doing when it comes to girlfriends/best friends. I'd avoid the conflict, there is nothing wrong with treating your girlfriend like a girlfriend instead of a best friend. And good luck in the future.
I treat my girlfriend like a girlfriend and my friends like friends. By treating my girlfriend like a girlfriend, I am not treating her like trash, so don't think she doesn't deserves the position of girlfriend. Afterall... that's what she is. I think the deal is sweet enough having her on the only slot on my girlfriend roster, why does she need to be my best friend too if we're having fun and like how things are going? The more time we spend together, the more we find out about eachother naturally, so we never get bored of eachother.
Losing friends is tough. Losing a girlfriend could be tougher. But losing the best friend you have and the only woman you had at the same time is just too much. The main point of this thread is considering the idea that we should not put a girl that we are dating at best friend status, not if we have others to fall back on, or how much she deserves it. I won't put my girl on a pedastal and she knows that, but she's happy being my girl right next to me.
DB9: You pretty much know what you're doing when it comes to girlfriends/best friends. I'd avoid the conflict, there is nothing wrong with treating your girlfriend like a girlfriend instead of a best friend. And good luck in the future.