HardLeftHook said:
They're highly correlated. I know I'm not worthless, but I don't feel adequate compared to others around. Mainly cause I'm not overly smart(but not a dummy) can't hold conversations well, and don't have confidence. It's kind of circle, I lack confidence because of these which gives me low self esteem. It sucks. It's like I know I'm not worthless but I don't "feel" it because I have so many flaws that I can't seem to change. It's like I have all the tools to make my future, but I just can't pull the trigger.
Warrior74
I guess thats the hardest part. But also the most confusing. The last few weeks of college, I was on fire with the breaking out part. It got to the point the courage to randomly approach this one girl who I didn't know and I asked to hang out. Now I'm too nervous to talk to girls in my gym class lol. It's not so much the attempt, it's the result when I do. Usually what screws me up is my nerves, they make it hard to hold a convo and I end up repeating the same "mistakes." Since I know this, I'm hesitant to approach. Hence the main issue with approaching. But I'm not arguing. That won't get me anywhere. So repeated back-to-back bombs=eventual success?
Its the knowing that you have the balls to do it and fail and do it again. Knowing that your not the sort of man who is scared of something so simple as a woman. Knowing that you aren't a quitter. Every time you try, you prove that your that guy. And every time you succeed you reaffirm that you are totally that guy. There is no losing unless there is no trying. It's what you take away from the experience...no experience = nothing to learn from.
If your nervous, start small man. Hi is the easiest and shortest conversation you can have with a cute girl. You won't die, your life won't end...the world goes on no matter what you do, so you might as well do it.
Start out talking to chics you aren't attracted to, not to game or date or sleep with, but to just to get used to talking to women. Do you have any women friends at all? Call one up as a warm up convo, or tell her to meet you at the gym and chat with her and then segway into chatting with other chic. Whatever it takes to get you started man. You just have to take some sort of action. The more action you take the more you will figure out what works for you. That nervousness is you being stuck in your head thinking too much. Stop being selfish and thinking so much about you, and think about the person you are talking to, LISTEN to what they are saying and think about it and comment back! That's called having a conversation. You aren't listening to her, your listening to your doubts and fears. That's called being a bad conversationalist!
My first website was crap, my navigation was crap, my clients couldn't even find my order button. I lost a fair bit of traffic and money. And I still made a couple of hundred extra a month. But I've learned that I need to make things easier for my clients by getting out there and trying. Now I'm making a couple of hundred a week. As I learn more and fail more, I'll figure out what I'm doing wrong and eventually be making a thousand or so a week. But if I don't do anything and worry about "what if my clients don't like my site, or if they don't like my work, what if they think im over priced, what if someone else gets them first" and I don't do anything...well I'll have to go back to eating ramen noodles everyday, and I do not want that. So what do I do? I stay hustling and scrambling and reading and learning and trying things until I figure out what the hell works! That's how living is done. Waiting and sitting on the sideline ain't living!
