G/f is very jealous

[NewDestiny47]

Me and a girl had really settled down, we get along great and really enjoy each other, the relationship was really starting to mature into something very serious.

One huge problem though, years ago she was cheated on multiple times by the same guy and she never got over that.
She is now extremely jealous and clingy to me, to the point where it's caused a lot of friction and she has actually said she's not sure about me b/c she suspects me of cheating on her... i mean it's constant checking up on me and if anything seems even slightly suspicious, forget about it. This is a weekly thing we go through with her freaking out about every little thing.

Is this worth working with? We have an excellent relationship aside from this problem. I realize the trauma she went through, I know for a fact it's not something she is making up and ive studied these things and i know how tough they can be to get over. But what an I do to put her at ease? Has anyone been in a relationship like this? Im currently just giving her time to chill to herself after she threw another fit this week, of course this just reinforced her idea that im seeing someone else but I need to get a plan together if we are going to make this work.

 

[Crazy Asian]

i'd actually want my gf to be a little jealous. cause it shows that she really cares alot.

and u might wanna not hit on other girls in front of her

 

[DJDamage]

Is this worth working with? We have an excellent relationship aside from this problem..

No its not worth it, she is damaged goods. If she can't trust you then you shouldn't be in LTR with her.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

No its not worth it, she is damaged goods. If she can't trust you then you shouldn't be in LTR with her.

agreed. she doesnt trust you now, in the back of her mind... she will never.

these kinds of chicks are super annoying.

i remember my father dated one of these types and she constantly accused him of him trying to get with his female-friends. he's not much of a guy to look up to (money, success, or looks), so it's totally unrational for her to accuse him of that anyhow.

 

[DJDamage]

and u might wanna not hit on other girls in front of her

Good idea and to reassure her better he should wear blinders on his eyes like horses do when he goes outside so he won't get distracted by the other girls. He can also wear an electronic ankle monitor so she will know where he is 24/7.

 

[Last Man Standing]

xxx

 

[Last Man Standing]

Jealously is good up to a certain point. I take it that she is not a virgin - if she wanted to ensure that a man is faithful to her only then she should have qualified that man by not being sexed by him until marriage - if he sticks around then he wants her and is just not using her for sex!!

Just tell her that she is annoying you and that you will head for the exit if she keeps badgering you - in a gentle voice, of course.

She seeks reassurance - do you verbalize your interest in her?

 

[KontrollerX]

People with post traumatic stress disorder relive their past traumas and have a hypervigilance about protecting themselves from going through the same thing that traumatized them again.

This chick probably has PTSD from the sounds of it.

This condition will not go away on its own.

Regardless of what she has for sure though its putting a strain on your relationship so you can either suggest she get therapy and deal with it or you can live with having your honor and integrity continuously attacked for no valid reason other than the fantasies swirling around in her mind.

This baggage is not your responsibility to fix and you can't fix it even if you want to.

She has to be willing to get help and change herself.

 

[NewDestiny47]

Jealously is good up to a certain point. I take it that she is not a virgin - if she wanted to ensure that a man is faithful to her only then she should have qualified that man by not being sexed by him until marriage - if he sticks around then he wants her and is just not using her for sex!!

Just tell her that she is annoying you and that you will head for the exit if she keeps badgering you - in a gentle voice, of course.

She seeks reassurance - do you verbalize your interest in her?

Actually she does have her V-Card... she's a rare one in her twenties, and im actually in no hurry to take it b/c if she is this jealous NOW i can only imagine afterwards... i want things at least somewhat stable before I do that.

It's not a "little bit of healthy jealousy", it's constant crying spells if I have to go visit my parents or whatever b/c she thinks im going to cheat. No doubt she has some hardcore PTSD... im actually in that field of study so I feel bad b/c I know how bad people with it can get.

I verbalize my interest in her to a certain point but at the same time I can't be constantly reassuring her, I feel im just making her problem worse by doing that. Im really pushing her away right now, hopefully a light will go off in her head and she'll get help.

 

[Last Man Standing]

A virgin!! Ok, she is afraid that you are fulfilling your manly needs elsewhere and thus the paranoia? She knows men have desires - such as her ex and thus knows all men do!

You then must reassure her that you value her and her virginity above all else and that you see this as a virtue! So, you are looking for marriage? Otherwise why be with a virgin? If so, then you must tell her this! How long have you been together?

 

[Someone Much cooler]

lol I think alot of girls use their virginity as a bargaining method, I dated a virgin for a while, i know how you feel.