Fvcking....women...

[backbreaker]

Sometimes man I don't know what to do. Not my wife she has done nothing wrong, my mom. Lord knows i have tired and tried and tired to have a normal relationship with this damn woman. I see now why she has been single for as long as she has. She jsut tinkers with ****.

Now for the last year, her and I have had an understanding. Look, just leave religion off the table. As long as we dont' talk about religion, we have a pretty normal relationship. The second it's brought up, hell breaks lose and we go back into our corners to await the next round. This **** happens time and time again, so we kinda came to a truce, look you don't bring it up, i dont bring it up. don't ask me to pray at dinner for thanksgiving , i won't send you any atheist pamphlets. Just leave it alone. Just fvcking leave it alone. I'm not going to convert you, and you aren't going to convert me.

Okay, so the plan was to to fly out to little rock friday, stay there until wednesday or so. For the sole purpose of letting her see her granson. Hell my bags are already packed.

So, she calls me just to talk or what not, i let her speak to my son, and she gets on the phone and she says "you do know you are going to church right". I'm like first hold the fvck up, I'm a grown ass man. You don't tell me what i am and am not going to do. I don't' know hwo the hell you thnk you are talking to like that I'm not bri (my 11 year old sister). i didn't curse but you get my point. Secondly, we have been through this.

We have a non religious household. My wife isn't religious, I'm not religious, and we don't expose son to religion. he can make that decision for himself when he gets of age. So I say 'well no I'm not'. so she says "well if you can't go to church on Christmas, that here is no use for you to come down here so i can't see you", so I say "fvck it, bye" and hang up the phone. looks like we will be staying here.


for the love of fvcking god why can't i have a normal ass mother who is just happy to see her son and grandson on Christmas, it's not like i see her everyday. freaking relationship was going great. i even bough her a blackberry tablet thingy for Christmas.

not only that, just throws my sister under the bus. now she won't be able to see m e or her nephew or her sister in law. All for the sake of being overly religious. she can kiss my ass i'm done trying with her.

 

[backbreaker]

I hear ya. It makes no sense to me. Believe what you want to believe, but allow me the same liberty...

If you feel strongly enough about it that you don't want to set foot in a church (even for the sake of keeping the peace), that's cool, she needs to respect that. However, be sure you're ot just being a pr1ck too. I don't know what your relationship has been like with her through the years, but maybe you could just suck-it-up for the one-hour knowing she appreciates it (I wouldn't make this kind of move with 99% of women, but she is your mom).

any woman that is going to put those type of type of stipluations on seeing them.. never mind the fact htat i have a son i want to raise a certain way, and that i have a wife that believes certain things...

she's doing this, just so she can feel better about herself. no other reason.

any woman, any person that puts those type of stipulations on you so that you can see them, rather it be your mom or your GF, they don't have your best interest in mind, they have theirs.

she can kiss my ass at this point. i am quite sure i am bing a prick about it, i'm sick and tired of having to be the one that has to "bend and suck it up" she needs to suck that **** up. i'm sick and damn tired of it. like my wife and my son and me are just playing around not going to church. so I hafe to fly my family 2000 miles away, make them go to church when we don't go to church, just so she can feel good about herself. she can fvck off.


I find it funny how we can talk about having a backbone, having boundaries and things of the sort when it comes with women, but when switch the subject to religion and everyone expects the atheist to submit to the Christians beliefs, to "suck it up" and to "go ahead and get it over with". Fvck that. I am not a christian. My wife isn't and my son isnt and we aren't spending Christmas at church. if she isn't okay with that, then she isn't okay with me.

 

[zekko]

Fvck that. I am not a christian. My wife isn't and my son isnt and we aren't spending Christmas at church

Why celebrate Christmas at all then?

I know the holiday has some pagan traditions but I'm assuming you're not a pagan either.

 

[Die Hard]

Seems like a good opportunity to examine the relationship between you and your mom in general. This church & christmas sh!t is just an expression of underlying problems between the two of you.

 

[backbreaker]

Hey BB,

Have you considered going out there anyways to see the rest of your family? Why should your mother dictate whether you go to visit family or not in Little Rock?

Is it possible to stay with any other relatives?

she's about the only reason i would bother going down there. my dad and I don't talk, and the family I do get along with all live out of state and most likely won't be back in town.

Why celebrate Christmas at all then?

because it's Christmas. I shouldn't even have to answer this question

Seems like a good opportunity to examine the relationship between you and your mom in general. This church & christmas sh!t is just an expression of underlying problems between the two of you.

not really. outside of that wh ave a pretty normal relationship. on one hand she' squite proud of me, on the other she thinks i'm going to hell. interesting dynamic. I mean, I love my mother. In general, she's a good person. sharp as a whip, doesn't have any nasty habits, she's quite boring but I mean she's generally a good person. I would like to keep our relationship but not at the expense of having this.

 

[mrRuckus]

Christmas transcends its religious origins is why you still celebrate it if you're not religious. The country itself is geared towards making it a convenient time to get together. People tend to be off work more and it's an official get-together day that's perpetually scheduled, and too frequently if something isn't scheduled, no one bothers to schedule anything.

 

[Iceberg]

Christmas transcends its religious origins is why you still celebrate it if you're not religious. The country itself is geared towards making it a convenient time to get together. People tend to be off work more and it's an official get-together day that's perpetually scheduled, and too frequently if something isn't scheduled, no one bothers to schedule anything.

Yeah that's how I see it.

I respect and acknowledge its religious roots, but it has become apparent that Christmas has moved beyond just being a religious holiday.

(And although I accept that, it still bothers me when people call it Xmas)

 

[women haze]

I'm sorry, but if you don't believe in Jesus Christ you shouldn't be celebrating Christmas...(I know the 25th is not the actual date of Christ's birth)

It's almost hypocritical.

Your Mom raised and cared for you, and brought your ass into this world. Take from me someoen who has lost a mom I didn't have the best relationship with my Mom, but after losing her I regret not forming a closer bond.

We do all this !@#$ for ***** and women who don't mean a damn thing to us, but we neglect our mothers? how backwards is that?

What I would have done is Flew over to see her anyways so that she can see her grandson. Leave it at that...show her that she can't get under your skin anymore.

I would not have gone to Church if I were you, but you say you want him to make his own decisions on the matter of Religion yet you wont let him step foot in a church?...so you are raising him to be a nonbelieve like yourself and your wife? basically doing the same thing that you are afraid of your own Mother doing to him....

Let that boy go to Church and see what he thinks about it....1 Sunday won't kill him but I digress that is a different subject.

 

[PokerStar]

@women haze

You dont have to be catholic or christian to celebrate xmas.

I was born catholic but i dont practice going to church or confessing my sins. in fact you dont have to be a any kind of religion to celebrate the time off and the warmth of your family and friends.

telling people what they can and cant do is being all nazi like. (i know its a little extreme)

 

[Iceberg]

I'm sorry, but if you don't believe in Jesus Christ you shouldn't be celebrating Christmas...(I know the 25th is not the actual date of Christ's birth)

It's almost hypocritical.

Don't worry - I'm not going to get into a religious debate. But look around you. Look on TV. Look at the stores. In America, what is the representation of Christmas? Jesus in the manger? No...a fat guy in a red suit who slides down your chimney.

Christmas has transcended its religious roots. We can complain about it. We can dislike it. But you can't control the way the world is going.

 

[backbreaker]

I'm sorry, but if you don't believe in Jesus Christ you shouldn't be celebrating Christmas...(I know the 25th is not the actual date of Christ's birth)

It's almost hypocritical.

Your Mom raised and cared for you, and brought your ass into this world. Take from me someoen who has lost a mom I didn't have the best relationship with my Mom, but after losing her I regret not forming a closer bond.

We do all this !@#$ for ***** and women who don't mean a damn thing to us, but we neglect our mothers? how backwards is that?

What I would have done is Flew over to see her anyways so that she can see her grandson. Leave it at that...show her that she can't get under your skin anymore.

I would not have gone to Church if I were you, but you say you want him to make his own decisions on the matter of Religion yet you wont let him step foot in a church?...so you are raising him to be a nonbelieve like yourself and your wife? basically doing the same thing that you are afraid of your own Mother doing to him....

Let that boy go to Church and see what he thinks about it....1 Sunday won't kill him but I digress that is a different subject.

the difference between me and my mom is that i am not going to disown him based on what he decides to believe in like she has done.

my wife and i chose not to go to church. that' sjust that and that's ifnot going to change. he's freaking 2 years old even if he went to church it's not like he would know what's going on.

my mom has made a habit of disowning me everytime i do somethign that she doesn'jt approve of. she did it when i started my business and didn't go to college like all of her friends sons, and i had to live in a car. fo cdourse when she heard i was doing good 2 years later she came back around. Imagine your mother not answering the phone when you are trying to call and see where hse is for thanksgivcing so you can see her. she did it when she found out i used drugs. but when i had a year and a half clean she started cominng back around. now she's pulling this **** again. again, that ungrateful ***** can kiss my black ass right now. i'm so sick and got damn tired of her act. mother or not.

and yes if you can tell you hit a fvcking nerve. yes i already see a shrink for it. and she is the one that told me that basically i hae to live for me. if anything i've been too forgiving, trying to make submit and be a normal family when my family basically doesn't execpt me on my terms.


what people like you don't realize is that it's not just "GO TO CHUCRCH ON CRHISTMAS' no different than a woman saying "oh i'm just going to be staying with you for a few weeks utnil i get my new place" lol. you give them that then the next thing you know you are down there durning the week and she wants you to comme to bible study. then she's buying my son a childrens bible. then she's asking you to come and help out at X event htey are hafving at church, then she wants to get my son christenerd.. eventually, the **** will hit the fan, rather it be sooner or later, beucase it's never about doing this one thing., it's her mini plan to get my to convert.

 

[PokerStar]

when i was a kid, i grew up thinking that my parents are the perfect parents.

The older i got i realized that my parents arent perfect, they are regular human beings with regular problems and some more extreme then others.

BB. some people have worst off than you. but dont get angry anymore, it doesnt help you in the long run. I guess just accepting for who she is what she does.

She might not be able to see through your eyes and maybe she is already set in her ways. my suggestion is that since you know how she do, accept it and move on.

no relationship between son and father or son and mother is never perfect, just be happy she gave you the chance to have a son and a loving wife.

 

[backbreaker]

when i was a kid, i grew up thinking that my parents are the perfect parents.

The older i got i realized that my parents arent perfect, they are regular human beings with regular problems and some more extreme then others.

BB. some people have worst off than you. but dont get angry anymore, it doesnt help you in the long run. I guess just accepting for who she is what she does.

She might not be able to see through your eyes and maybe she is already set in her ways. my suggestion is that since you know how she do, accept it and move on.

no relationship between son and father or son and mother is never perfect, just be happy she gave you the chance to have a son and a loving wife.

that's pretty much how I feel. I mean, i don't think she's a ****ty person, and I love her for it, but as long as she has this religious bit going, she's better off not in my life. Because the **** will hit the fan sooner or later. and as much as I hate the **** she did to me, i wouldn't' be who I am today if i didn't have to go through every last thing i went through, the good and the bad.

I have lived the vast majority of my adult life without either of my parents in it. I can take care of myself and I am okay with it. but I hate the idea of my son not being able to see any of his grandparents.. keep in mind his other grand parents live in England, so he never really gets to see his grandma and grandpa and i hate that for him so I keep trying to make it work, but no one seems to want to work with me. I think that is what really pisses me off more than anything about this , and the more i think about it the more pissed i'm getting, she called me late enough to where she knew i couldn't chae my plans and go there. had she done this **** at the beginning of December, i would have said screw you and we would have went to visit my wifes parents and they would have been as happy as a punk in the pen to see their grandson, under no conditions. her parents are catholic but she isn't and they don't bust her balls over it. but now because of this, we are stuck here. lol and you are trying to make it out like she's the innocent victiim inm this, get that **** out of here. never again.

 

[PokerStar]

thats true.

to me though, the only person suffering here is your son.

 

[women haze]

sad stuff man, It's true you have every right to feel like you don't owe your Mother a damn thing.
It seems like she just wants to right you off everytime you don't walk in her line. yet you have to see where Poker Star is going with this....hell your existance, your Son's existance is apart of her too.

can't rob your son of a relationship with her although I def feel where you are coming from....

Being the bigger man is never easy

 

[metoo]

xmas is nothing more than a big pita, never was and never will be anything else.

 

[Wilko]

I find it funny how we can talk about having a backbone, having boundaries and things of the sort when it comes with women, but......if she isn't okay with that, then she isn't okay with me.

I feel you on this, my own hunch is that many of us are too flexible on the boundaries we claim to have. My boundaries are very much a part of my integrity and my identity. An attack on my boundaries is an attempt to change who I am.

 

[Die Hard]

Seems like a good opportunity to examine the relationship between you and your mom in general. This church & christmas sh!t is just an expression of underlying problems between the two of you.

not really. outside of that wh ave a pretty normal relationship.

Whatever you say, man... Your rants tell me otherwise, let alone the fact that you're seeing a shrink about all this!

Lord knows i have tired and tried and tired to have a normal relationship with this damn woman.

Yet you claim there are no underlying problems between the two of you? Mmmkay...

 

[origin138]

My mom is a hugely difficult person to deal with as well. For a long time, I blamed her for the fact I've had run-ins with numerous crazies including 2 BPDs.

Then one day a man far wiser than myself told me "You'd better learn to handle your mother, because you'll fall hard for someone just like her."

Like it or not, that woman taught you what you know about love and relationships while growing up. Learning to handle her will take you a long way in handling the women you're attracted to, and ultimately make you more successful. I'm guessing most of the women you've dated/fvcked/been attracted to have had traits that resembled your mother

 

[Die Hard]

Wise words, origin!