Fuuuuu-Complete FAILURE-pretty depressed

[chellikwaja]

This hurts. This past year, I feel like I've grown so much. My confidence has skyrocketed. I am far more outgoing, I actually feel far more complete in life. I've dated girls, talked with strangers, gotten along with people.

But today hurt. This girl I've known since last year, completely shattered my confidence. Last year was completely different with her. She told me she thinks I'm handsome, and look like I've had many girlfriends before.

But today she completely changed. First she said that I look like the type of guy that 40 year old women or 13 year old girls would like, and then she said that I look like the type of guy who has never had a girlfriend. Or who could never get a girlfriend. Then she implied I kind of look gay. Couple this with a couple months ago when she said I look pretty and wouldn't explain, I think she's telling the complete truth, as when she said all of this, she was completely nonchalant about all of it and she wasn't angry at me or anything.

Now, I've teased her before, negged her and everything, and I'll admit there were a couple of times that were semi harsh(never anything to do with her looks though), but never really did anything because she's about 8 years older than me, and she's pretty average looking, certainly worse looking than the several girls I've gotten and worse looking than girls who liked me back in high school when I was completely AFC. But it's not like she's ugly. Just would be a step down for me. So with her saying this, it hurts pretty bad.

I just don't want to lose all of the confidence I built up and regress. I really don't know what to make of the situations.

 

[Zarky]

Sounds like a sh!t-test to me...

 

[vagrant]

What confidence are you talking about? If this girl can make you depress just by saying those things to you, well guess what? You never had any to begin with..

Confidence is about knowing the truth, that no matter what you tell me if I believe I can do something, I don't give a sh!t if you tell me otherwise.

Don't listen to that girl man. The truth is, no matter what you do some people will like you and most people will hate you. That girl definitely hates you. Ain't no sh!t test about that.

When a girl likes me, guaranteed, 100% of the time, treats me like a king. This girl is treating you like sh!t which you don't deserve. No way in hell this girl likes you and no way in hell would I even get with that kind of girl showing me no respect.

That's all I can say, it's up to you man. :yes:

 

[The Mad Ghost]

What confidence are you talking about? If this girl can make you depress just by saying those things to you, well guess what? You never had any to begin with

Cough,

 

[synergy1]

if an average looking chick can make you feel like crap, you never had any confidence to begin with.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

Come on, man, don't take for real everything that people say.

That girl tried to bring you down by targeting something important to you, so now you have to cut her off from your life. Do you want to be surrounded by people who try to make you feel miserable? I guess not.

I look like the type of guy that 40 year old women or 13 year old girls would like, and then she said that I look like the type of guy who has never had a girlfriend.

First of all, is there a category of men who look like only 40 and 13 y.o. would like? That was a bull**** what she said.

Last year was completely different with her. She told me she thinks I'm handsome, and look like I've had many girlfriends before.
................
I've dated girls, talked with strangers, gotten along with people.

So apparently girls other than the 40y.o. and 13 y.o. like you.

Let's say that that was a sh!t test.
Well, that kind of sh!t test should never be pulled on you or anybody else.
Do you want a person who messes with your mind like so at your side?
Cut her off!

If you mess up badly with any girl, that girl would go away and the opposite should apply.
Cut her off!


The last thing I have to say:
Don't even listen to our fella forumers who tell you that you never had confidence if you think that you had. You know better!
Everybody has a weak spot or time when they're vulnerable.

So brush it off and continue the good work:

This past year, I feel like I've grown so much. My confidence has skyrocketed. I am far more outgoing, I actually feel far more complete in life. I've dated girls, talked with strangers, gotten along with people.

 

[Kailex]

OP, I hope you do know that she called you all those things, because you haven't made a move on her, right?

She's trying to finally get you out of her mind by saying all of these hurtful things to you.

And your response should have been to grab her and give her the best 45 seconds of her life.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

OP, I hope you do know that she called you all those things, because you haven't made a move on her, right?

She's trying to finally get you out of her mind by saying all of these hurtful things to you.

And your response should have been to grab her and give her the best 45 seconds of her life.

No, his response should've been walking away from the *****, no matter what her reasons were.
Are you that freakin desperate and have so low self-respect that you'd give a chance to a girl who hurt you so bad?

 

[Kailex]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH, the sound of my sarcasm going right over your head, junior mint.

But, just because you tried your hand at this...

Are you that freakin desperate and have so low self-respect that you'd give a chance to a girl who hurt you so bad?

First she said that I look like the type of guy that 40 year old women or 13 year old girls would like, and then she said that I look like the type of guy who has never had a girlfriend. Or who could never get a girlfriend. Then she implied I kind of look gay.

If that hurts anyone so bad... they have bigger problems to worry about than what some girl said. Something like that... would never phase me. If I had low self-respect, I'd be the one posting about this, not someone else.

I'd NEVER let anything like that bother me and would in fact rebuttal with a neg or shrug it off. There's tons of posts like this all over: She said I'm gay.

And they take it to heart, when they shouldn't.

OP is saying that out of NOWHERE she is saying all these things, there's a reason behind it. But you're failing to see that. Everyone's so quick to just turn their backs or "get hurt" without seeing the reality behind the situation.

 

[chellikwaja]

I think I should clarify. I know that I don't have true confidence right now, as this is definite proof of it. But compared with the beginning of last year, I actually do have a level of confidence when before I had zero. This is definitely a gut check for me, bringing up areas I need to improve on.

And reading these responses has definitely helped me think more rationally (So thanks for the responses). I think there may be some element of attraction for her. I had forgotten to say that she said I have a look that 20 year olds wouldn't like, well she's 30, or maybe 31, I don't remember which. It's possible it's just her way of negging me as she did have a bit of a mischevious grin.

However, with that being said, I think I'm gonna start hanging out with some other girls. I don't really care if she likes me anymore.