Hi all
6 years ago, I ended up in a toxic relationship. I was on the bad side.
Anyway. Painful long healing, but it learned me a lot.
I started to construct a much more stronger own life. And this with an attitude, that's me. Take it or leave it. Enjoying my time. Really. Travelling a lot and dream job.
I never chased a woman in my life, well wait ... later some more info on this.
If I overlook now last 6 years ... I got regularly attraction by women, without doing anything. To be exact, 2 that actually ended up as just a sex date, 3 others to have some relationship with. One 1 year, the other one 2 years which ended 2 months ago.
Also the toxic one, that lasted 4 years (2006-2010), with a break-up in between, there the girl chased me. Broke up, and chased me again after 1 year.
What I see from myself is that I'm feeling always confident, myself, being an Alfa, but slightly in the relationship I'm shifting slowly to a Beta. On break-up I start to chase the girl too hard and too long.
My character is more like a loner. I'm just very comfy with myself and I don't like to spend my time with clue-less activities. I'm a doer and passionated the things I'm doing and putting a lot of time in these things.
Being passionated. I'm this in a relationship. I go for the long term. Or at least I want. I'm feeling always more engaged than the other one when getting dumped.
All the relationships (also those actually just for sex) the girl put an end on it. And more or less always there was never such a thing like: darling, we need to talk. Never seeing the effort of the other to not lose the relationship. It's like they all just take what they want and then ciaooo.
Like the last girl. She broke-up with reason: you never said u loved me, I wanted to see you more. Well, what the ****, you never told me, and you never said that too to me. I understood your several actions as love for me.
Maybe I'm an assh0le. I hope not. I do not think so. But maybe I take every time the relationship for granted after a while. Or maybe not. I did always enough effort to meet the other one and the s3x for me stayed always exciting. But I need to add here, that all of the longer relationship girls were more or less intimately shy or insecure.
Meeting the other, because all of them where also long distance (40km, 200km, 3000km). So, taking flights etc etc was the funny part of it.
Anyway. On break-up of all of these, I'm just feeling far away of being Alfa and I start to chase the girl. Feeling very weak too. I must say too that all of these girls are interesting personalities. I seem to have a weak point for those kind of girls, and also they seem to find me too in a way.
I'm just wondering if I'm here accepting girls, but with conflicting interests?
- They are all abroad people (I don't feel attracted to native same language speaking people of my own country. I'm living in EU in 1 of the smallest country, so very easy to be abroad).
- They are all cute
- They are all younger than me (2 of them 15 years of diff)
- They are all long distance (where I'm always open to move if common plans)
- They all have a strong character. Well, just women that know what they want and wanna to make some cool proper life instead of a boring life. A bit standing out the crowd. Or actually I start to doubt sometimes these girls are always feeling bit insecure an do overcompensate being extravert.
So, guys, what's wrong in my process?
Or just nothing and this is life?
... on my way back to Alfa
6 years ago, I ended up in a toxic relationship. I was on the bad side.
Anyway. Painful long healing, but it learned me a lot.
I started to construct a much more stronger own life. And this with an attitude, that's me. Take it or leave it. Enjoying my time. Really. Travelling a lot and dream job.
I never chased a woman in my life, well wait ... later some more info on this.
If I overlook now last 6 years ... I got regularly attraction by women, without doing anything. To be exact, 2 that actually ended up as just a sex date, 3 others to have some relationship with. One 1 year, the other one 2 years which ended 2 months ago.
Also the toxic one, that lasted 4 years (2006-2010), with a break-up in between, there the girl chased me. Broke up, and chased me again after 1 year.
What I see from myself is that I'm feeling always confident, myself, being an Alfa, but slightly in the relationship I'm shifting slowly to a Beta. On break-up I start to chase the girl too hard and too long.
My character is more like a loner. I'm just very comfy with myself and I don't like to spend my time with clue-less activities. I'm a doer and passionated the things I'm doing and putting a lot of time in these things.
Being passionated. I'm this in a relationship. I go for the long term. Or at least I want. I'm feeling always more engaged than the other one when getting dumped.
All the relationships (also those actually just for sex) the girl put an end on it. And more or less always there was never such a thing like: darling, we need to talk. Never seeing the effort of the other to not lose the relationship. It's like they all just take what they want and then ciaooo.
Like the last girl. She broke-up with reason: you never said u loved me, I wanted to see you more. Well, what the ****, you never told me, and you never said that too to me. I understood your several actions as love for me.
Maybe I'm an assh0le. I hope not. I do not think so. But maybe I take every time the relationship for granted after a while. Or maybe not. I did always enough effort to meet the other one and the s3x for me stayed always exciting. But I need to add here, that all of the longer relationship girls were more or less intimately shy or insecure.
Meeting the other, because all of them where also long distance (40km, 200km, 3000km). So, taking flights etc etc was the funny part of it.
Anyway. On break-up of all of these, I'm just feeling far away of being Alfa and I start to chase the girl. Feeling very weak too. I must say too that all of these girls are interesting personalities. I seem to have a weak point for those kind of girls, and also they seem to find me too in a way.
I'm just wondering if I'm here accepting girls, but with conflicting interests?
- They are all abroad people (I don't feel attracted to native same language speaking people of my own country. I'm living in EU in 1 of the smallest country, so very easy to be abroad).
- They are all cute
- They are all younger than me (2 of them 15 years of diff)
- They are all long distance (where I'm always open to move if common plans)
- They all have a strong character. Well, just women that know what they want and wanna to make some cool proper life instead of a boring life. A bit standing out the crowd. Or actually I start to doubt sometimes these girls are always feeling bit insecure an do overcompensate being extravert.
So, guys, what's wrong in my process?
Or just nothing and this is life?
... on my way back to Alfa
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