friendzoned, now how to approach

[hspuaintraining]

Hey guys,

I've been reading up here. Please let me know what I've been doing wrong/right.

Here's the situation:

This girl and I were acquaintances. We knew each other for a while, but we didn't really talk much.

Somehow we go to talking more and more. So much that we talked basically everyday for a month. Bla bla bla. We continued talking and hanging out. We got pretty ****ing tight. At a party she was piss ass drunk and basically held my hand for 3 hours and cuddled with me for another hour. That's pretty much when I fell for her. We continued talking. A week later, another party, but this time she was hella awkward around me because all of our friends knew something was up between us and I guess she's pretty self conscious. So I got ****ing wasted in attempt of breaking down that awkwardness. So apparently in my drunken stupor I told her I wanted to be with her. Big ****ing mistake. She said something about not wanting to commit, but nothing about not wanting me. She talks to me the next day and gives me the dreaded "just friends" speech. She deviated from the standard friend speech and said that I was different and that I had a shot and that she was confused about me. I was pretty indifferent and just played it off as if everything were alright.

Two days later I even took her on a "nondate." I thought it went pretty well and she definitely enjoyed herself.

She continued talking to me basically everyday. I decided I had to do something about this. I wasn't going to stay a friend forever. I read up online and came up with a plan.

She still tried to talk to me everyday. I would either dodge her calls or just be uninterested when I did talk to her. I did this to the point where she doesn't try to talk to me anymore.

I've been working out, got some new clothes, and a new haircut. Basically "recreated" myself.

So it's been 2-3 weeks since I've last talked to her and I'm confident she will hit me up again sometime this week.

Apart from the general stuff I've read on the site, what do you guys have for me?

Thanks for all your help!

 

[AlexLefty]

Hey sorry man but, I got no advice for this one...I'm working on being a DJ myself.

However, I know how you feel and I also know it sucks to not get a post answered. So, hopefully with my bump, maybe someone with real experience can see it. Good luck

 

[jeffthechef]

Somehow we go to talking more and more. So much that we talked basically everyday for a month. Bla bla bla. We continued talking and hanging out. We got pretty ****ing tight.

Tlaking everyday for a month is too much..Usually you should escalate within 2 weeks really..3 at most..but it's not a complete deal breaker or anything..just a preference

At a party she was piss ass drunk and basically held my hand for 3 hours and cuddled with me for another hour. That's pretty much when I fell for her.

hmm..you fell for her when she was "piss ass drunk"..try not to do this

We continued talking. A week later, another party, but this time she was hella awkward around me because all of our friends knew something was up between us and I guess she's pretty self conscious. So I got ****ing wasted in attempt of breaking down that awkwardness. So apparently in my drunken stupor I told her I wanted to be with her. Big ****ing mistake.

Yes, you know it was a mistake...i don't drink/smoke...but from what i've seen at parties, i would deduce that being drunk/high is not always the best idea. Some say it helps them relax...but i don't think it's worth the health risks..AND NO ONE NEEDS TO TELL ME HOW SAFE WEED IS..i know what is safe and what is not..and i really don't care about what you do with your life

She said something about not wanting to commit, but nothing about not wanting me. She talks to me the next day and gives me the dreaded "just friends" speech. She deviated from the standard friend speech and said that I was different and that I had a shot and that she was confused about me. I was pretty indifferent and just played it off as if everything were alright.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND GUYS RIGHT HERE. ONCE SHE GIVES YOU THE "JUST FRIENDS" SPEECH OR ANY VARIATION ON IT...MOVE THE FCK ON..why waste your time with a girl who doesn't want you badly?...
1. You aren't good enough for her, in her mind. So perhaps you should work on yourself instead of trying to convince her she should give you a chance.
2. Perhaps it's something stupid.
3. If a girl wants you less than you want her, it won't work. She will realize the power is in her hands and you'll gradually become more of an AFC in order to stay with her.

Two days later I even took her on a "nondate." I thought it went pretty well and she definitely enjoyed herself. She continued talking to me basically everyday. I decided I had to do something about this. I wasn't going to stay a friend forever. I read up online and came up with a plan. She still tried to talk to me everyday. I would either dodge her calls or just be uninterested when I did talk to her. I did this to the point where she doesn't try to talk to me anymore.

Seems like you're putitng way too much effort into this one girl. I know it's not hard to avoid her calls or be uninterewsted. Takes little time and effort...But you are putting TOO MUCH effort.

____________________
Here's my advice

I know you think she's great...why else woudl you post about her and do allt his?..

but i have had the same situation several times...and it stems from one issue...
YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH ACTION.

When i was in middle school, i was getting little action...the occasional "for a few months" gf...then a long drought...

then i got to high school..a new school with 450 studnets per grade..my old school had about 50 students in a grade

i had girls initiating kino and conversations with me all the time for the first two years...but i was too shy to escalate or initiate myself...so they would flirt their asses off..lots of girls...and i was a ***** and just smiled and laughed..never giving them kino or taking any action

these girls slowly gave up because i never made a move...and this happened for a long time....all this way before finding this site

and durings these two years...i would "fall in love" (lust) with every girl that gave me the slightest hint they wanted to go out with me...cause i was getting no action for so long before

But looking back, i realize my standards dropped tremendously from having droughts of no action...i would become a total afc for some girls

HERE'S THE SOLUTION
GET ACTION...Stop focusing on one girl...and try and number close A LOT OF GIRLS...get out with different ladies...and have fun

THEN, you will be able to find a GIRL WHO MEETS YOUR STANDARDS from these group of girls..after you get to know them

don't ever commit to a girl when she's the only one you've been getting close to...only commit to a girl after you've been hanging out with her..AND several other girls throughout the course of a month or two

 

[Nino-Tk]

i agree with all that has been said above..man do me a favour and read it again, i know i did

 

[Kailex]

She talks to me the next day and gives me the dreaded "just friends" speech. She deviated from the standard friend speech and said that I was different and that I had a shot and that she was confused about me.

Confused? No.
She knew EXACTLY what she was doing.

Translation: She thinks she can keep you as an orbiter, hence "You might have a shot".

She already knows exactly what she thinks about you and what aspect of her life you are fulfilling. I suggest you move on, spin more plates and stop pining over someone who you fell for just because she cuddled while she was drunk and had fun on a non-date. What in the world is a non-date anyway? You either date or you are an AFC being some chick's friend.

Reinvent yourself without this girl.

 

[hspuaintraining]

Lol, time to work on the two chicks that have been begging me to go to lunch with them and game on that new girl at our school.