Friendship or Relationship??

Orpheus

New Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2022
Messages
6
Reaction score
1
Age
20
So this happened that I had a girl who used to be my bestie previous year I sexted and flirted a lot then I confessed and she said that she will go in a relationship after ur xams then after few months of dating she said she wants friendship I reacted violently and went no contact she came back and she started making moves for a relationship After few days I gave in unless recently she again said wants a friendship and I said I will not keep the friendship cuz she stopped me from going with other girls on asking she said she flirted and said she wants a relationship cuz she couldn't resist herself in the atmosphere and then no contact from both sides after 6 days she begged for the friendships I said after my one interview I will ask her few questions if satisfactory answers then I will she said till then can we be friends I said a straight no and she called me a volcano man.. Yesterday I had my interview and I haven't texted her neither did she... she knows that but she didn't make a move that she wants to answer my questions..

What to do??
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,484
Reaction score
2,610
It sounds like you might be physically and emotionally attracted to her, so platonic friendship is out of the question. But a friendship does need to be established for any romantic relationship to be healthy.

The question is whether you want to establish that type of connection with her and the answer is no one knows that but you. I don't think she has shown any sign of disrespect or low interest. So like I said, ultimately it comes down to how much potential you see in her. If she continues to pursue and show interest and you see potential I don't see an issue establishing the type of connection and move forward as you see fit.

Hope it helps.


Modern Man Advice
 

Orpheus

New Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2022
Messages
6
Reaction score
1
Age
20
I want a relationship but she is asking for a friendship now... and she hadn't texted me after my interview so should I make a move ?? If yes what to text her??
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,570
Reaction score
15,686
First...start using proper English. I really hope you don't text the way you write. Nothing says dude that doesn't have his sh!t together more than a guy who can't text proper sentences.

Second...this girl is playing games with you. As @EyeBRollin said, find a girl that's actually into you. What you posted is a girl who isn't really that interested in you.
 

Orpheus

New Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2022
Messages
6
Reaction score
1
Age
20
First...start using proper English. I really hope you don't text the way you write. Nothing says dude that doesn't have his sh!t together more than a guy who can't text proper sentences.

Second...this girl is playing games with you. As @EyeBRollin said, find a girl that's actually into you. What you posted is a girl who isn't really that interested in you.
So no more making moves from my side?? No text or anything right??
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,484
Reaction score
2,610
I want a relationship but she is asking for a friendship now... and she hadn't texted me after my interview so should I make a move ?? If yes what to text her??
Then I misread your post, and I apologize. If she is offering a platonic friendship then cut contact (and follow through within) and move on.

If, on the hand, she is offering a friendship to establish a foundation because she sees potential in the future that is a different story. But navigating through it will require you to pay close attention to her actions and mindset. You might hear from other members to cut contact either way and it is mostly because most members want to get laid and make that their priority. Anything other than sex submission is unacceptable, and these are the guys that stay single forever and can never bond or have families of their own. And there is nothing wrong with that, but when it comes to a committed relationship which is what YOU, and you alone, want, there is more than just sex (although it is a big part of it). And friendship is a pillar/foundation.

I guess you just have to gauge if you are on the same page as far as what that friendship will look like. If it is completely platonic, it will only be detrimental to you and you must move on. If it is an intent to build something for the potential she may see, then again navigate carefully.

Modern Man Advice
 

Orpheus

New Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2022
Messages
6
Reaction score
1
Age
20
Then I misread your post, and I apologize. If she is offering a platonic friendship then cut contact (and follow through within) and move on.

If, on the hand, she is offering a friendship to establish a foundation because she sees potential in the future that is a different story. But navigating through it will require you to pay close attention to her actions and mindset. You might hear from other members to cut contact either way and it is mostly because most members want to get laid and make that their priority. Anything other than sex submission is unacceptable, and these are the guys that stay single forever and can never bond or have families of their own. And there is nothing wrong with that, but when it comes to a committed relationship which is what YOU, and you alone, want, there is more than just sex (although it is a big part of it). And friendship is a pillar/foundation.

I guess you just have to gauge if you are on the same page as far as what that friendship will look like. If it is completely platonic, it will only be detrimental to you and you must move on. If it is an intent to build something for the potential she may see, then again navigate carefully.

Modern Man Advice
Well it's impossible to understand if she wants a platonic relationship or she is seeing us as a couple in future
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,484
Reaction score
2,610
Well it's impossible to understand if she wants a platonic relationship or she is seeing us as a couple in future
Nor she would say it, and even if she does, words don't matter. It comes down to you being able to gauge her intentions by her actions when she is around you.

If I am being honest, unless you are an experienced man that can understand and read women better than most men, your best bet is to walk away and only focus on high-interest level girls and build on girls like that than with wish-washy girls that can only give you headaches and heartaches down the line.

Don't get me wrong, I like challenges and prefer to take risks. But those are calculated risks. And for you, it is better to set yourself up for success in small increments than to take bold chances like that.

So move on.

Modern Man Advice
 

Orpheus

New Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2022
Messages
6
Reaction score
1
Age
20
Nor she would say it, and even if she does, words don't matter. It comes down to you being able to gauge her intentions by her actions when she is around you.

If I am being honest, unless you are an experienced man that can understand and read women better than most men, your best bet is to walk away and only focus on high-interest level girls and build on girls like that than with wish-washy girls that can only give you headaches and heartaches down the line.

Don't get me wrong, I like challenges and prefer to take risks. But those are calculated risks. And for you, it is better to set yourself up for success in small increments than to take bold chances like that.

So move on.

Modern Man Advice
Exactly I get what you are saying so no text from my side.... I won't contact her first
 

Dr.Suave

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
3,823
Reaction score
4,140
Ghost. Next. Spin more plates.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,289
Reaction score
11,252
I want a relationship but she is asking for a friendship now... and she hadn't texted me after my interview so should I make a move ?? If yes what to text her??
Cease all contact with her. It's best for you.
 

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
4,826
Reaction score
4,503
So this happened that I had a girl who used to be my bestie previous year I sexted and flirted a lot then I confessed and she said that she will go in a relationship after ur xams then after few months of dating she said she wants friendship I reacted violently and went no contact she came back and she started making moves for a relationship After few days I gave in unless recently she again said wants a friendship and I said I will not keep the friendship cuz she stopped me from going with other girls on asking she said she flirted and said she wants a relationship cuz she couldn't resist herself in the atmosphere and then no contact from both sides after 6 days she begged for the friendships I said after my one interview I will ask her few questions if satisfactory answers then I will she said till then can we be friends I said a straight no and she called me a volcano man.. Yesterday I had my interview and I haven't texted her neither did she... she knows that but she didn't make a move that she wants to answer my questions..

What to do??
If you want serious advice, you will have to organize this alphabet soup into coherent thoughts using proper sentences. I have no idea what I just read.
 

Orpheus

New Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2022
Messages
6
Reaction score
1
Age
20
If you want serious advice, you will have to organize this alphabet soup into coherent thoughts using proper sentences. I have no idea what I just read.
I've been seeing a girl for the last few months she was my best friend before that and once we did sexting after that she started showing interest in me but I didn't but always she used to say I don't wanna lose u....


Now the entire thing happened over text , so one day she got crush on a boy later realized that the guy was toxic and I moved her on... she said me she really loves me then and wanted to make our profile pictures same... anyways last November I confessed my feelings she said she doesn't want a relationship but likes me and then she once sent me lyrics of a romantic song as good morning wish one day and then I used to make her feel special (typical nice guy behavior ) but she used to get overwhelmed by those we did sexting after that she said after our xams she will make me her everything and like God has blessed her with the best guy and made all plans of future


We used to meet in school and had casual talking even if I was late she used to wait for me but lately once she said out of the blue that we are not in a relationship I said okay i know and said that nothing is confirmed even after xams I overreacted and said imma end the friendship but she stopped then I made her a quote and when I said we are a couple she said not to make her blush... but today she said we are not in a relationship and when I said we are more than friends cuz we used to talk like this she whined and said if she knew I would take it so seriously she would have never said that and said she doesn't want to lose me and due to this fight she doesn't want relationship I did damage control saying that before our xams we won't talk about this she said trust me u r always my hardin and stuff and said sometimes she is mentally unstable not to feel bad... I replied let's just have fun like we used to have and stop thinking about future it seems she wants friendship and I want relationship so what should I do to re attract her back
Now this entire episode happened in April... I went no contact for one day surprisingly after that day she came back and started hitting on me she started stalking girls who hit on me abused them and called me as her husband planned kids blah blah blah... Everything was going fine unless last 20th August she did that friendship drama as if we are friends and are not dating I told her well in that case we can't be friends she said she never signalled me anything and when I showed her where she stopped me from going with other girls and stuff she said that at those moments she couldn't resist herself that's why she texted like this and said she wanna continue as friends I was firm on my decision and again went no contact after 6 days she came back and said are u srsly not gonna talk to me... I said I have questions about ur atitude if I get a satisfactory explanation then we'll see... She called me a Volcano man and said I can question after one of my interview now it's been 3 days and she haven't texted me neither did I.... So should I question her or should I continue this no contact
 
Top