friends?

[slickjesse]

i dated a girl for about 7 months.....acted sort of AFCish towards the end which is unlike me. we broke up and she went home for the summer (3 hours away). during this time i brought her IL back up. She calls me almost everyday now. She came up here to see me this weekend and we had sex a few times and acted like we're going out just like last time i visited her. ive been dating around but i really want to pursue more with this girl. the thing is all of her friends are in terrible relationships and makes her sick to see what they go through. That combined with how she always seems to have a boyfriend makes her want to be single (not an excuse...this is all true) just to feel like she doesn't need or depend on anyone. i want to just tell her that this is stupid and she wants to be single cause she sees all these terrible problems in relationships but because she doesn't want that shes missing out on one of the few that never has those problems so i think shes making a mistake. how should act from this point on... besides to just move on. im not sitting around for her im looking for other girls...i just want opinions on this specific situation and her thought pattern. thanks guys...

 

[slickjesse]

im thinking that im going to just keep things how they are and keep working on her IL and then after a while of not mentioning anything and just being friends tell her what i think would be best for us and that i think shes making a mistake. comments?...

 

[slickjesse]

can anyone help?....

 

[Starman]

Well lets see..how did you brring her IL up?? If you can pinpoint that and keep doing it..her IL might one day become high enough to go steady with you..

You can do whatever you want..but from my experience..asking a girl for a relationship is Signing its death certifcate..

Start doing things for her..nice things..that will get her friends to be jealous of your target girl..once your girl becomes the envy of her friends over what a greatcatch you are..she would be foolish not to take you for herself.

 

[Quick]

Don't tell her with words, show her through your actions. If you do what you've been doing, and she has a great time being with you, she will never leave you for some abstract reason like wanting to be single to see if she can. She can't, as seen by her past, and it'll be somebody else if not you. Keep what you've been doing and don't get too clingy (like trying to convince her to be in a relationship). As long as she's into you, and believes that she could lose you, she'll eventually ask you for a relationship. That's why begging her could work against you, she'll feel more secure that you aren't going anywhere and won't be motivated to lock you up.

 

[slickjesse]

im afraid she may already think thats she wont ever lose me even if we're not together. what can i do to make her think the opposite?

 

[516]

Become more unavailable because you are out w/ other women.

 

[Ar7]

Originally posted by 516
Become more unavailable because you are out w/ other women.

Exactly, and if that doesnt work, stop all contacts with her. If she is still not alarmed then forget it (obviously she doesn't think much of you), at least you held on to your dignity.