Friend's Girlfriend all over me, help!

[the_Masseur]

Hey there. ok basically this guy is an overprotective incredibly jealous p.o.s. when it comes to relationships. He's a decent friend other wise but he can be two faced.
I'm not. I just got back from college so I just met his girlfriend and its been about 3 days. I guess meeting a DJ got her going and she's all over me now and can't stop saying how sick she's of him and I can understand. He has her IP address tapper, reads her emails without her consent, has even followed her places! thats how jealous he is, he sticks to her like gum, and they've only been together for a month!
Anyway, she's already telling me how had i come back earlier I would have met her sooner, all the bad stuff he would say about me that now she realizes isn't true at all and stuff.
She took me to this party the other night, he new about the party but she didnt take him. At the party, she introduced me as her future boyfriend. We are already holding hands and she already gave me that corner lip kiss, you know, half on you lips half on your cheek.
So guys, how correct would it be for me to go for my 4 yr friend's girlfriend? He's a 25 yr old man, professional and with a nice car, but I know him and he's not changing(and i've told her that). She's a professional with two degrees and is 21, with a nice car, INCREDIBLE personality and body. Solid 8.
And here comes good ol' DJ, college sophomore and 18 with a pos car. PROOF that you dont need a car, money or age to get a girl. You need to make the right moves.

All opinions welcome.
Thank you,
Frisko.

 

[trajhenkhet]

Whats holding you back tiger?

 

[felony]

who's friendship do u value more?
and what do you want out of each?
perhaps talk to your friend about whats going on.

just some thoughts,

take care,
felony.

 

[Quick]

You know the answer to if it's correct to take your friend's girlfriend or not. You're probably just looking for some people to tell you it's alright to easy your conscience a bit for the decision you already made. You're not going to be able to keep the girl and the friend, so I guess it's up to you to decide whether a girl you just met is more important than a 4 year friendship. The character of a girl that would hit on her boyfriend's friend isn't too likeable. She's pretty selfish and doesn't respect either of you. If she didn't want to be with him, she should've dumped him, and then found someone not his friend to date. Not the kind of girl for an extended relationship. Pretty shortsighted to end a friendship for a few nights of *****. That old "her boyfriend wasn't treating her right" line has been used to justify every instance of a guy taking someone else's girl in history. Rest assured that she'll tell the guy she leaves you for the same things about you.

It would be easy for me, because I only choose friends I like and respect. I know if my girl hit on them, they'd tell me and then we'd both send her packing. If standard practice with you and your friend is to talk trash behind each other's backs, "friend" is the wrong word to use. You should find friends that you have enough trust with that each other's girls are off limits. But maybe it's just you, and he would never dream of taking your girl. You should probably cut your friendship with him, but not in a "I'm banging your girl" kind of way.

 

[bman]

stay away from her, if she does this to him... what makes you think she wouldnt do it to you when the next guy comes along? remember, bro's before hoe's

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by Quick

It would be easy for me, because I only choose friends I like and respect. I know if my girl hit on them, they'd tell me and then we'd both send her packing. If standard practice with you and your friend is to talk trash behind each other's backs, "friend" is the wrong word to use. You should find friends that you have enough trust with that each other's girls are off limits. But maybe it's just you, and he would never dream of taking your girl. You should probably cut your friendship with him, but not in a "I'm banging your girl" kind of way.

ditto. I find it hard to believe you're calling this guy a friend (he said what about you behind your back?).

Quick is 100% on the mark.,

 

[the_Masseur]

Well, he wasnt really my friend at first. He's about 7 yrs older than me, he went to college with my brother. Then my brother left college(cuz he was ahead, and graduated) and well we became friends. He's by no means my best friend or anything close to it, also he can be two faced if a situation isnt exactly working out for him. The type of **** he is doing to her, he has done to other girls and even some of his room mates(tapping computers, reading emails, etc) I know, he has told me and he's not changing(he's a man, 25 yrs old, if that's the way you are, that's how you are staying)

So I guess you could say he's like a family friend, probably more of that than a sole good friend of mine. I was over at her place last night trying to fix her internet connection cuz her dad couldnt get online and we found out a lot of stuff about each other(me and her) we are from the same country, city, went to the same english academy, had TONS of common friends back home, even lived about two blocks away from each other. And we just came to meet here, through him. Talk about a small world.
Last night she even tried to kiss me, and today we are going to lunch to settle things the way they should be. I'm telling her to either break up with him or forget it, I dont want to be the villain here you know. Me and him aren't bro's as it would commonly be used, probably more like far step cousins. get it? So no, it's not bro's before ho's in this case, it's his own fault too for being so overly jealous, that's his own personal problem and it's an issue he needs to address if we wants to keep a girl happy.
If you can't keep a girl, then you did something wrong, and that's your fault. Take responsibilities for your actions. That's the way I've always seen it.

Any other comments?
Lata,
Sisko.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Yeah, you got it spot on - tell her to break up with him (he sounds like a slimy fscker tbh).

Then go for it... maybe keep it quiet for a week or 2 to avoid people saying she was cheating on him.

 

[Matt ala Casanova]

Originally posted by the_Masseur
Hey there. ok basically this guy is an overprotective incredibly jealous p.o.s. when it comes to relationships. He's a decent friend other wise but he can be two faced.
I'm not. I just got back from college so I just met his girlfriend and its been about 3 days. I guess meeting a DJ got her going and she's all over me now and can't stop saying how sick she's of him and I can understand. He has her IP address tapper, reads her emails without her consent, has even followed her places! thats how jealous he is, he sticks to her like gum, and they've only been together for a month!
Anyway, she's already telling me how had i come back earlier I would have met her sooner, all the bad stuff he would say about me that now she realizes isn't true at all and stuff.
She took me to this party the other night, he new about the party but she didnt take him. At the party, she introduced me as her future boyfriend. We are already holding hands and she already gave me that corner lip kiss, you know, half on you lips half on your cheek.
So guys, how correct would it be for me to go for my 4 yr friend's girlfriend? He's a 25 yr old man, professional and with a nice car, but I know him and he's not changing(and i've told her that). She's a professional with two degrees and is 21, with a nice car, INCREDIBLE personality and body. Solid 8.
And here comes good ol' DJ, college sophomore and 18 with a pos car. PROOF that you dont need a car, money or age to get a girl. You need to make the right moves.

All opinions welcome.
Thank you,
Frisko.

Don't mess with your friends girl. Let them break up but don't be the one who is the cause of it. Your friend will still be there where as this girl will most likely leave you in the future when you can't meet her new needs.

M.A.C.

 

[Aztec]

In the beginning, you already justified your feelings that it is okay to make your move on her because your friend could sometimes be a "two-faced."

'nuff said.

 

[htemorp]

Bros always come before hoes. Regardless how long you know your friend, he's still your friend. Plus you just met this girl, is it worth your time to lose a friend over some hoe you just met?

 

[Bonhomme]

If she breaks up with him, OK

I agree entirely with Oscar on this one.

 

[the_Masseur]

Aight guys check it out.
You see, this girl is hispanic. I'm too, but anyone that is and has grown most of their lives in a latin country would know that girls are different there, their expectations are different.
Anyway, yesterday we went out to lunch. Then we went to a museum and then to barnes and noble cuz she had to do hmwrk. After that, she had class but before we went to class we laid all the cards out and had an all out conversation about the situation.
She didnt want to mess up my friendship with him and she was aware of our friendship and the potential of screwing it up, so she said that once he gave her a good excuse she would break up with him because she realizes that if we have gotten this far in a week(remember spanish girls are different they dont just mess around) we both agreed that we should get together because this type of thing doesnt happen everyday. We are both looking for LTR and we jsut happen to have, so far, an incredibly strong connection. Anyway, to not screw things up she said that we would be together sort of in secrecy until she broke up with him.
To my surprise, at 12 last night she called me up and said that she talked to him already and they arent together anymore and he now knows that we are going out. She says that he was cool about it and understood that our friendship didnt have anything to do with us being attracted to each other. Finally he took something maturely.

So I guess it's official now guys, ad i couldnt be happier. We'll see what happens next.
lata.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Pretty cool, glad it worked out for ya.

If it were me, I'd prefer if he didn't know about you 2 hooking up, at least certainly not for a week or so - I think she/you made a mistake there... nevertheless it's not a bad finish. Interesting next time you meet him, alone, and together...

Good luck,

Oscar.

 

[BGMan]

Hmm... everything seems okay, but my gut tells me that something's not right here.

BGMan

 

[Quick]

Originally posted by BGMan
Hmm... everything seems okay, but my gut tells me that something's not right here.

BGMan

For one thing, it's unlikely that his friend is petty as he first describes him, and then is totally unphazed by the girl's revelations. Not even the most mature guy is going to take that calmly with no repercussions.

 

[the_Masseur]

UPDATE

ok FINALLY got the story straight.... because I'm 18 and he's 25 he always looked down on me, thought of me as a lil kid who knew nothing and therefore thought of me as his "little brother". That's what she told me. Although i've known him for years now, we were never really close friends, just you know hang out do a favor to each other kinda friends. whatever. So he thought I had never had a girlfriend, been in a relationship or had any close contact with a girl. That shows you how weak or friendship rather was, I never really told him crap. Anyway, so he asked his girlfriend not to seduce me but sort of lead me on, to later tell me nothing was possible because she was his girlfriend, so that "I would learn what it rejection feels like" ::sigh::...go figure.

Anyway, it ended up backfiring on him because me and her actually clicked and clicked a lil too well. So I liked her a lot, and she likes me a lot too(or so she says). Yesterday we even kissed, like actual heavy kissing.(before she told me this stuff). Then she told me he was now jealous of me because she likes me and I like hr and she told him this.
When I was hanging out with her yesterday, he called her up on the phone and even had the balls to tell her that the day before(my car broke, I was fizing it and was REALLLY pissed... at fixing the car. so he came to "pick me up" but I didnt talk to him much cuz had I done so I would have gone out of control), so he told her over the phone that the night before that he came to get me, I wasnt man enough to look at him in the eyes because I knew I had done something wrong. Now, the night before I didnt know what I now know, but the reason I didnt talk to him straight was because I was angry. And now it turns out that he was the one that started this whole thing.
All I know is that whatever friendship I had with this guy before, I'm now sending to a ditch. I dont think friends should do that to friends , or read other's emails or basically stalk people. That's messed up behavior, now that I look at it he has some real issues to work on and if someone here needs to grow up, he probably needs it most.

As far as she goes, she wants to remain "friends until she breaks up with him" because she doesnt want to screw up the friendship. Next time I talk to her I got news for her on the fact that at least on my side that friendship is done. She says she wants to remain close to me but "we shouldnt kiss again because thats a relationship practice" . She's very sweet and smart. I dont feel she holds fault to this, but it's his fault. Ayayayay wtf is hapenning.

Any comments are welcome.
lata,
Frisko.

 

[Heart Of Stone]

Ayayayay wtf is hapenning

She's CREATING DRAMA for herself. This whole post sounds like some kind of a soap opera.

She's having a grand ol' time at the expense of you and the other guy.

Re-read your whole post and see how many RED FLAGS you can come up with. In other words, see how many things just don't feel right to you.

 

[Heart Of Stone]

(remember spanish girls are different they dont just mess around)

One last thing. The sooner you get this silly notion out of your head, the better off you'll be.

Don't get me wrong. I love spanish girls. Living in the desert southwest, that's pretty much all there is out here. Spanish girls are no different than any other girl. They all have there little tricks and games that they'll use on you.

 

[Vronski]

I think you need to lay her really quick. If you don't, she'll start doubting her moves and actions.

And stop obsessing over "morality" and "your friendship with the guy". Remove it completely. Real friends let go of the girl if you wanna be with her and don't make you feel guilty for doing what u need.

Cheers