Friend's gf broke it off because he won't get better job

[zekko]

Things changed when she got a new job and was around more club guys who showed off their "bling" and bragged about making "paper"

Her, being in her early 20s and still impressionable started slowly transforming into that lifestyle and began the comparison to her bf..

This goes to show how people often change when they get older. You can't really prepare for it. A woman who is perfectly happy in a relationship can be exposed to some new exciting friends or whatever, and then decide that they want something different. There's a good saying here "The girl you marry is never the woman you divorce".

This also goes to show what happens when you date girls who frequent clubs.

There was a study posted here awhile back that showed that any kind of lifestyle change, a new job or whatever, increased the odds that your
spouse would cheat.

She'd say things like "I'm making moves I want a better future and you're content".

Sounds just like a friend of mine whose wife divorced him. She had just gotten a new degree and moved up to a better job making more money. Now she was growing and he was stagnant. So guess what? He got the boot. Funny thing is the guy she replaced him with wasn't making any more money than he was. Oh well, that's women for you.

Finally, Backbreaker has a point. Maybe he should use this occasion to take a look at himself and see if this is where he wants to be in life, career-wise. Does he see himself in a good position for the future? He doesn't need to make more money just se he can hand it over to some ho, but he may want to afford a decent lifestyle when he gets older, invest for an early retirement, etc.

 

[slaog]

i was going to make a new post but you know what i will put it here

i am not talking about nayone here i'm just saying this in general. take your simple life and shove it up your ass lol.

Nothing makes me laugh harder than guys who want to live a simple life, getting pissed off because everyone around them doesn't. Calling every girl who doesn't want to be with them and their simplistic lifestyle a golddigger.

here is the truth about life. as you get older, you want to experience things. You want to do things. and doing this requires money. not everyone is content sitting around not doing **** just so they can say they are taking it easy

the hot 40 year old i am talking about is a pretty normal woman. country as all get out, but has an elite set of legs lol. my wife won't mind me saying that they are cool lol. most 40 year olds want to live in a decent house. doesn't have to be an MTV crib but they dont' want to be living on the number streets either.

she drives a 2012 white Chrysler 300 and has a Harley. she went on a vacation last December to mexico. she works her butt off as well but her husband makes the real money.

and something else. this hot 40 year old woman has 3 kids. one is in college and they help out with the college money. one is about to be 16 and they have to get the girl a car and one is 2. so how are you and your simple life going to be able to afford all normal ass expenses? there is nothing on there unique or extravagant that's normal people ****. the college girl (who is a hb8 btw lol, she's 21) came by our house about a week and a half ago whiel we were all hanging out to get 100 bucks from her mom so she can go buy groceries beucase she was flat broke. simple life guy can't afford that ****.

get this **** through your head. if you want quality poon, you need to be able to provide a quality lifestyle. quality doesn't mean a beamer, vacations every month and a 3 story house. quality means, having a savings account with money in it, driving a car that is not a POS, being able to take a vacation every now and again, being able to put a kid through college.

i don't know why this irks me like it does but it does. money gets a very bad rap. if you don't want to work for **** dont' work for **** but dont' be mad when you get left for a guy that can provide a quality lifestyle if you can't.

So in other words you wouldn't mind your woman running off with a wealthier man!?

 

[SecondHalf]

OP, your friend handled himself with dignity.

Can't fault him. He did not see sufficient value in this woman and that relationship to try harder or maybe, he's completely content with the way he currently lives his life.

The woman is young and a sponge for new experiences and opportunities. She upgraded her job, learned of a different lifestyle that appealed to her, and wanted to try it. She did try to include him.
I don't see hypergamy here, she just outgrew your friend (or more accurately thinks she did). Maybe a bit of an ego trip too.

I myself have left a couple behind because they were no longer compatible with my lifestyle or direction ... when I was young.

In retrospect, I've been in your friends situation also. I did not handle it so well as he. I pushed myself not for me but for her. Back in the deep AFC era.

Kudos to your friend!

SH

 

[LorenzoVonM]

All this talk about being ambitious, moving forward, what women go after, is all secondary.

IMO The main point to take away is that the guy is content/happy and is not going to pander to some emotion of the moment. If you're happy then all that other shvt doesn't matter. I live in SoCal and the surf culture breeds these surf bums that all they care about is the next wave. Zero ambition to go out and make money. They are some of the happiest people you will ever meet. Its not fake, you can feel it being around them. Societal conditioning makes people unhappy.

 

[tryst type]

All this talk about being ambitious, moving forward, what women go after, is all secondary.

IMO The main point to take away is that the guy is content/happy and is not going to pander to some emotion of the moment. If you're happy then all that other shvt doesn't matter. I live in SoCal and the surf culture breeds these surf bums that all they care about is the next wave. Zero ambition to go out and make money. They are some of the happiest people you will ever meet. Its not fake, you can feel it being around them. Societal conditioning makes people unhappy.

 

[backbreaker]

All this talk about being ambitious, moving forward, what women go after, is all secondary.

IMO The main point to take away is that the guy is content/happy and is not going to pander to some emotion of the moment. If you're happy then all that other shvt doesn't matter. I live in SoCal and the surf culture breeds these surf bums that all they care about is the next wave. Zero ambition to go out and make money. They are some of the happiest people you will ever meet. Its not fake, you can feel it being around them. Societal conditioning makes people unhappy.

You're missing my point as are others.

I totally understand that. I get that. I don't have a problem with that. That's not how I am wired, but I fully understand that this is a lot of people. I go to NA meetings with a bunch of people who are just ****ing happy to not be on drugs, content with their 12 dollar an hour job and are as happy as can be, just because they don't' have the law on their ass or they aren't in jail or dead. Seriously I get this, and probably moreso than most here on this forum, this is an issue I talk about quite often in real life because of the meetings.


I am not saying that the guy is wrong. I am simply saying, the woman isn't wrong either. I'm simply stating that if you are content with being simple life guy, do not hold a grudge against a woman who doesn't share your same values, because the vast majority of people in life aren't going to think like you think. I'm saying be prepared to have women leave you beucase you don't fit their requirements in a man and b e ready to swallow that.


But see, that's not the real problem. Let's take my NA meeting. Let's seriously break down my meeting just so I can make my point as clear as I can. There are 5 guys in particular who stick out to me as simple life guys in my meeting. 3 of the 5 are married. their wives aren't going anywhere. 1 is divorced and one is just hopeless lol.


of the three guys that are married. one of them is married to a girl i could see myself sleeping with if i were drunk or high. not ugly but not really attractive. the other 2, are just women in name only.


These guys wives aren't going anywhere. they love their men. seriously. the problem is, comparing their wives to say, my wife or Jimmy's wife who is pretty good looking, our wives had the ability to demand more out of their man because their market value is higher. My wife is everything that their wives are, plus she's about 5 points hotter lol. Jimmy, guy has 23 years clean, he's 55 and he's married to a woman in her 30's and she's very very pretty. he owns 2 businesses, ex military. guy has his **** together. his wife loves the **** out of him.


Saying you want a HB8 + wife without any baggage, without being able to provide at least, at the very minimum, a middle class lifestyle; i.e vacation every now and then, half ass decent car, a decent house, being able to put kids in college, having kids in general and being able to afford them, is like saying you want to pitch in the major leagues and you don't' want to learn how to throw a change up or a curve ball lol.


You ever seen Bull Durham lol? Everyone in the show can hit a fastball buddy. You want a HB8 to want to spend the rest of her life with you or ****, spend any relevant amount of time with you because you are nice and funny and have "game"? join the club, get a number, drinks and cookies are in the corner. guess what, that's every ****ing guy she knows. then the same guys sit around stroking each other on online forums talking about why girls flake out so much. why shouldnt' she flake you are generic guy number 4584, you think your kino and ****ty ass jokes and the fact that you made her pay for her own dirnk is enough to get her to stick around?


and yeah, there are things about me that my wife particularity likes about me; that we have the same passion for horses and horse racing, that i'm pretty funny when i want to be, that i have my own life and it doesn't revolve around her even now she likes these things about me. But there is no doubt in my mind she would not be here if i was not able to provide the type of life style that i am able to provide for her, she doesn't work. hasn't worked in 4 years. she drives a nice car, she lives in a nice house with a big ass back yard and a Whirlpool, we got 99 problems but money is not one of them. she has everything she wants which, isn't al ot... i'm much worse than she is, but the things she wants she has. that's all that matters. If you can't provide the things in life that a girl thinks she wants, you don't have a chance.


I'm not talking about ****ing bar skanks or club girls, I'm talking about sleeping with quality women worth sleeping with. and to do that, consistently, and to keep them coming back, you got to be able to throw more than a fastball buddy.

 

[LorenzoVonM]

You're missing my point as are others.

I totally understand that. I get that. I don't have a problem with that. That's not how I am wired, but I fully understand that this is a lot of people. I go to NA meetings with a bunch of people who are just ****ing happy to not be on drugs, content with their 12 dollar an hour job and are as happy as can be, just because they don't' have the law on their ass or they aren't in jail or dead. Seriously I get this, and probably moreso than most here on this forum, this is an issue I talk about quite often in real life because of the meetings.

...

This thread has like 4 separate topics rolled into one. I understand your point and I agree with you 1000%. People who ***** and moan annoy me too. Everyone has the power to go out and do better for themselves in order to get what they think they want. Many times what they think they want has been decided by society and once they get it realize it wasn't so great afterall. But you CAN get it, comes down to how bad do you want it.

However, the OP's friend is not *****ing as far as we know, so he's not in the camp you were speaking of.

 

[backbreaker]

that's what i am saying. I don't think the girl in the OP is really wrong. I think the OP ust put her there for convenience sake.

she doesn't like how much money he makes, he has no ambition tom ake more, she equates the job with ****ty pay so she hates his ob, she leaves him to figure **** out.

he's not wrong for not wanting to make more money if he is happy and he fully understands the possible ramifications there are by not making more of a career, and she's not really wrong for wanting a man who wants to be able to provide a little bit more. neither are wrong per say. they just dont' match up with each other.

I mean play the tape out. I'm not saying any of this is wrong, per say but, having to pinch penny's when you get old, living on medicare and medicaid because you are broke, dating a guy whose job doesnt' provide health insurance / health benefits, dating a guy whose job won't give him paid vacation days so he can never take off and go anywhere, dating a guy who can't afford to eat healthy, having to work in your 60's and / or 70's at 30 years old that's **** i think about often. Lucky for me that wont' be a problem. but to sit here and cast any chick who looks at a guy with no ambition and leaves a golddigging *****, is childish and irresponsible. there are serious real life ramifications to not having money


I think what i am trying to say is that there is a difference between a girl who is with someone who provides them with a very comfortable standard of living and they just see someone and go all hoe and leave because they think they can move up and the girl who is with a guy who just isn't going anywhere and they see an exit and take it. my wife is spoiled rotten, drives a convertible clk, has a closet full of clothes and shoes and ****, and doesn't work. she doesn't ask for alot but if she asks for something she has it. she has everything she wants. if she left me for another guy she is a hoe lol. sorry babe but i'm correct on the technicality

 

[slaog]

and yeah, there are things about me that my wife particularity likes about me; that we have the same passion for horses and horse racing, that i'm pretty funny when i want to be, that i have my own life and it doesn't revolve around her even now she likes these things about me. But there is no doubt in my mind she would not be here if i was not able to provide the type of life style that i am able to provide for her, she doesn't work. hasn't worked in 4 years. she drives a nice car, she lives in a nice house with a big ass back yard and a Whirlpool, we got 99 problems but money is not one of them. she has everything she wants which, isn't al ot... i'm much worse than she is, but the things she wants she has. that's all that matters. If you can't provide the things in life that a girl thinks she wants, you don't have a chance.


I'm not talking about ****ing bar skanks or club girls, I'm talking about sleeping with quality women worth sleeping with. and to do that, consistently, and to keep them coming back, you got to be able to throw more than a fastball buddy.

Its no coincidence that you're arguing in favour of the women who favour rich men while most of us are not rich and arguing against that. Most people believe in whatever suits them best.


Doesn't the highlighted part go against everything ths forum teaches? You're saying shes using you for your money and you're happy with that because you have money. That doesn't sound like solid foundations for a relationship to me.


Women get turned off when men chase them too hard. Wealthy men should also be wary of women that chase them too hard too soon. In my experience its usually the men who flaunt their wealth who end up getting divorced more. The reasons are obvious.

 

[hockster]

In my experience its usually the men who flaunt their wealth who end up getting divorced more. The reasons are obvious.

Yup! It's a vicious cycle until eventually the woman gets too old and finds herself alone and lonely with not much hope and limited cards to play. Where as the rich dude will keep on trucking. Never a shortage of good looking shallow women willing to sell their honor for $$$.

 

[HoneyHitter]

If this guy is such an unambitious loser, why did she get with him in the first place?

This is just another example of why you should never rely on a young woman for companionship. I think most guys (like backbreaker) get married these days because there's a lack of other (more beneficial) legal options for living arrangements. Cohabition laws are just fvcked up constructs to assist those b!tches with their branch swinging schemes.

Women are always trading up nowadays. And they're like drunk gambler's in a casino: they only stop when they've lost all they have. Don't ever forget this. And find your own way of using this dynamic for your own benefit.

 

[zekko]

Its no coincidence that you're arguing in favour of the women who favour rich men while most of us are not rich and arguing against that. Most people believe in whatever suits them best.


Doesn't the highlighted part go against everything ths forum teaches? You're saying shes using you for your money and you're happy with that because you have money. That doesn't sound like solid foundations for a relationship to me.

It's all about value. No one would complain if a guy dumped an HB4 in favor of an HB8. The point is, if you want a high quality woman, you need to have some actual value in return. It doesn't have to be all about money, but it's no secret that women value looks, wealth, and status.

I'm sure some guys here think that any attractive woman should just accept them just because they read Mystery's book or whatever. But a lot of this site is about self improving. What's the first thing they tell you when you come here? Go to the gym. But I don't see guys here complaining if girls value you for your muscles.

Ideally you should be fit, have high social status, and be on a solid financial path. PUAs don't like to talk about the wealth aspect because it interferes with their portrayal of guys on solid career paths as boring, and with their idea that women are only attracted to dirtbags. Build yourself into a high value guy, not so you can get women, but so that you can reach your potential. If you are well rounded, the women will come.

 

[tryst type]

Great insight and opinions on this topic.

Let me just say, I myself am not in a "career" like job right now. Heck I don't even work full time, but I instantly use that when comes to a new girl to my advantage.

I flip the switch, I ask if they're rich or could support the both of us, I argue that I only date girls with money. Basically letting them know I'm aware of how women think and it doesn't phase me.

When I'm asked what I do for a living I reply "it's not a "career" with a big check every week but I do it so girls can love me for me, see I can be generous at times" usually they laugh and respond it doesn't matter as long as I'm not unemployed.

But I know it wouldn't be something they'd tolerate long term but I could give two sh*ts because I know where my skills and smarts are I just have yet to find a job to incorporate them in for the $$

 

[sodbuster]

They want looks when they are young, but they want money to raise their own young. CAN"T fault them on it. Would you as a man take a cashier if you date an MD [more money, more intelligent genetic potential] if they looked the same?

Did anyone here date a hot woman only to find out she wasn't worth it{dumb or entitled/lazy}? WHY can't a WOMAN?

 

[expos]

If a woman is with you for the money she will cheat. Money is not a gina tingler, it is disloyal hypergamous gold-digger bait.

x1000. Money attracts some rather shady women.

I would also like to tell you about a few scenarios of some people I know.

Couple 1: Guy works as an repairman for a apartment complex. He's married to a girl who works at a bank. They have two kids. Very small home in a not so great area in one of the worst U.S. cities.

Couple 2: Guy does shift work in a cheese/dairy factory. Wife stays at home and raises their two kids. Small house in the middle of nowhere in farm country.

Couple 3: Guy works as a Art Director, wife works in human resources for a company worth billions on billions. No kids. Beautiful home in the suburbs.

Couple 4: Guy works as a bank teller, wife works as a PR rep. No kids. They live in a nice little condo.

Trick question - Care to guess which relationship didn't last? Care to guess which wife was a huge b!tch?

 

[sharkbeat]

Am I the only one to think that she left him not because he didn't want to get a better job, rather one of these "club guys" simply demonstrated a higher value, and quite possibly, had fvcked her?

 

[tryst type]

Am I the only one to think that she left him not because he didn't want to get a better job, rather one of these "club guys" simply demonstrated a higher value, and quite possibly, had fvcked her?

Could be, from what I gathered she seemed very impressionable especially due to her age.

When they started dating they both liked doing adventures things like nature walks, taking their dogs to parks, exploring abandoned spots etc.

Her new job made her less and less interested in these things and more into glamorous ways of living.

Her FB/Instagram pics transformed from cool scenery to self pics of her all done up and face shots. She started getting into Latin guys and music videos that showcased club life/money lifestyles. It was quite a transformation.

My friend says he noticed and would at times feel embarrassed in public because of how she'd dress (from urban stylish to sweatpants that read "pink" on the ass)

 

[Justin Time]

As I said before, people are always growing and changing. Some grow closer together, others grow in parallel, while some grow apart. I call it the A-H-V relationship pattern. They can work out, but not while she's going through this phase which may or may not be permanent.

 

[tryst type]

Question about jobs and money, are their any successful women who consider themselves "independent" that wouldn't mind being a sugamomma? Or are they all looking for the higher value man regardless?

 

[zekko]

I flip the switch, I ask if they're rich or could support the both of us, I argue that I only date girls with money.

I've known several guys who have women support them. Not the way I would choose to live, but it seemed to work for them, at least for awhile.

If a woman is with you for the money she will cheat. Money is not a gina tingler, it is disloyal hypergamous gold-digger bait.

Maybe money is not a gina tingler, but success is. Also, money = power, and power is definitely a gina tingler. Also, knowing you can support yourself and are on solid financial ground is a big confidence booster. You should acquire wealth for yourself, not for women, because money buys you freedom.

Any blind nut can find a squirrel, though. PUAs like to use the example of weak AFCs with money that women take advantage of. Not all guys with money are weak, check out Clooney, Jay Z, etc. Anyway, this is why you want to be well rounded, so you can tingle the gina on many levels.

Regarding gold diggers, I've always thought they were easy to spot, so I can't imagine what lousy screeners these guys who end up with them are. My preference is nice girls though, and I have a good nose for them.