Friend with benefits

[manfromitaly]

I wanted to expose a problem that sometimes occurs to me.

I know it's quite childish.

Doesn't it bother you that a friend with benefits has sex with others?

When you think about it, doesn't it make you uncomfortable?

Even just for a moment, don't you feel negative feelings?

Is it me or is this completely normal?

 

[BPH]

No.

In my experience, most women won't want to be having sex with multiple guys, even if you want to have sex with multiple girls. Very often when I'm in a FWB situation I'm the only guy she's seeing.

That's not always the case, and it doesn't bother me when they do, because I'm doing the exact same thing.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I wanted to expose a problem that sometimes occurs to me.

I know it's quite childish.

Doesn't it bother you that a friend with benefits has sex with others?

When you think about it, doesn't it make you uncomfortable?

Even just for a moment, don't you feel negative feelings?

Is it me or is this completely normal?

Why? It should only bother you if you are wanting the relationship to be BF-GF.

And if that's the case then have a discussion with her. That's not your job to worry about those things. And it's not your job to try and force a relationship onto her.

The second you want the relationship more than she does, you have already lost. It might take a while for that loss to play out but it's going to play out.

IMO, this comes from a position of lack in some way...you are afraid of losing her to another man. Again the answer is, ensure you are no longer in a position of lack and that falls back to your mindset and working on yourself mentally.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Doesn't it bother you that a friend with benefits has sex with others?

No, I don't require exclusivity nor do I demand it.

When you think about it, doesn't it make you uncomfortable?

Not really. Women tend to be cleaner on their bodies than men. I know I've had fellation from a girl with another girl's juices on my ****. She even remarked on it, but that didn't stop her fellating me. But I never smelled another man (or woman) on my lovers.

Even just for a moment, don't you feel negative feelings?

While I have sex with other women? Why should I feel negative feelings? That's the deal, isn't it?

If you cannot handle 'your' woman sleeping with other men, you have to go exclusive with her, but in that case you should also give your side chicks.

Is it me or is this completely normal?

Whether it's 'normal' depends on whether you conform to the norm in your culture and society.

 

[manfromitaly]

Excellent views

I recently happened to talk to a girl I had had sex with a few months ago, I had a small crush then.

Then afterwards I had sex with 2 other girls, but hearing that she went out with someone else bothered me.

Among other things, she was a bit clever, she didn't admit it, she said that she went to the beach with someone and he pulled down his trousers and she was upset, but obviously she was making fun of me and I pointed it out and she started laughing, she definitely had sex with him.

I think it bothered me because I had a crush.

 

[manfromitaly]

But yes, as mentioned, it is unlikely that a girl will have sex with others when she is in a FWB. It's more likely to happen to us men

 

[Rainrain]

Perhaps by using the phrase “it is not yours it is only your turn” it could ease your concerns about your FWB sleeping with others.

Everyone is right, in theory, women have a hierarchy of suitors and their top choice not only get most of their attention but also most of their effort to continue their relationship. If he **** up then it is the next in line, like a conveyor belt. Having multiple partners at the same time goes against their pair bonding and commitment-centric nature. Like everything in this world, there are outliers and not everyone is the same, but this is the general consensus for the most part.