Friend Dies and Date Flakes

[chieftan]

So I need some perspective on this situation. I went through the motions and got this girls number yadda yadda. I call her up ask her out she has to go home and offers the week after. I call her up and offer two days.

Anyway the day rolls around I text her the address of where we are to meet. I'm standing around checking stuff out waiting for her and my sister calls and tells me that one of my childhood friends died. After I get off the phone I get a text from this girl saying that she didn't think we where still on because I didn't call to confirm the day. I call her up and explain that I thought I said X day not Y day. She says well I'm far away I'm like I have a car I can pick you up. Then she is says I'm just blah right now. I ask her if she wants to try to do something next weds and she gets an attitude and says she has friends coming. I just heard low interest so I flat out asked her "are you saying no not next week or no never." She was obviously not expecting this and just responded with a flustered "nows not the time." Bad move, but I was seriously, pissed I was still planning on having the worst date ever cause my friend just died, and she doesnt want to do it cause she is "blah." I get off the phone after a couple more curt words. Up till this point she had been demonstrating high interest, I'm pretty sure I actually did leave some ambiguity about which date, but still.....

I wait a week and call her leave a message seeing if she wants to do something. Never a call back.

I know this is done and am trying not to be AFC about this, but we do operate in tangential social circles and I see her every couple months. If I see her again should I be like my friend died the day you flaked?

 

[Julian]

Why do you owe her any excuse shes the one who dissed you, dumbass.

 

[Ice882]

Why do you owe her any excuse shes the one who dissed you, dumbass.

The complete misinterpretation of almost every post on this site astounds me.

Reading comprehension is the easiest sh1t ever as long as you actually pay attention.

You're the dumbass here Julian.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

I haven't been here in ages but decided to drop by and check the place out. I see not much has changed.

I'm going to sum up what happened and take it for what it's worth.

Some things to consider:

- Your friend dying is irrelevant. She's the one who flaked on you, basically.

- Her/you confusing the dates is irrelevant. If she was really into it, she'd not miss the date. Mr. Right doesn't come around everyday, and if you were him, you'd have gone on that date. You're not him.

- When ever a girl flakes out on you, move on. Suck it up and just say "cool, I'll ttyl". That's it. End of discussion.

- Don't ever, ever, EVER confront her about it, or get cranky. Your ego is doing the talking at this point, and this sort of behavior is just showing her your true colors. You're weak and unworthy, in her eyes.

- Lastly, don't say anything to her if you see her again. In fact, ignore her, without going out of your way to ignore her. If you end up talking, keep it cool and friendly. Never bring up anything about this experience.

And as far as experience is concerned, chalk this one up to one of those life lessons and move on.

 

[Julian]

The complete misinterpretation of almost every post on this site astounds me.

Reading comprehension is the easiest sh1t ever as long as you actually pay attention.

You're the dumbass here Julian.

'

shut up you dog. I dont see you giving any advice, im just telling how it is.

 

[scrouds]

Why do you owe her any excuse shes the one who dissed you, dumbass.

Yes, who has any self esteem can notice that being stood up is being disrespected. How you deal with that is the mark of a DJ.

 

[moneyisking]

hey Julian is right. I mean, the b1tch definitely got an attitude with this man, and is basically being a wh*re. she flaked on you, so the b1tch must be punished for it, not given apology? what the hell man?

 

[kokane]

I haven't been here in ages but decided to drop by and check the place out. I see not much has changed.

I'm going to sum up what happened and take it for what it's worth.

Some things to consider:

- Your friend dying is irrelevant. She's the one who flaked on you, basically.

- Her/you confusing the dates is irrelevant. If she was really into it, she'd not miss the date. Mr. Right doesn't come around everyday, and if you were him, you'd have gone on that date. You're not him.

- When ever a girl flakes out on you, move on. Suck it up and just say "cool, I'll ttyl". That's it. End of discussion.

- Don't ever, ever, EVER confront her about it, or get cranky. Your ego is doing the talking at this point, and this sort of behavior is just showing her your true colors. You're weak and unworthy, in her eyes.

- Lastly, don't say anything to her if you see her again. In fact, ignore her, without going out of your way to ignore her. If you end up talking, keep it cool and friendly. Never bring up anything about this experience.

And as far as experience is concerned, chalk this one up to one of those life lessons and move on.

Julian's not wrong but his advice is not complete. Listen to this canadian guy, he knows what he is talking about. And do as he says. His advice is spot on.

 

[Hidden-Hand]

So I need some perspective on this situation.

Well thats great because my perspective is all that I offer.

I went through the motions and got this girls number yadda yadda. I call her up ask her out she has to go home and offers the week after. I call her up and offer two days.

Well something seems to be afoot here.

Anyway the day rolls around I text her the address of where we are to meet. I'm standing around checking stuff out waiting for her and my sister calls and tells me that one of my childhood friends died. After I get off the phone I get a text from this girl saying that she didn't think we where still on because I didn't call to confirm the day. I call her up and explain that I thought I said X day not Y day. She says well I'm far away I'm like I have a car I can pick you up. Then she is says I'm just blah right now.

Well, you dont understand ******** huh? I'll break this down for you: She just canceled on you, big time. If she was really interested she would have assumed you two were still on until notified otherwise. Think about it, if she was 'really concerned' and didnt think you two were 'still on', then why didnt she text you to ask if you were still on instead of 'just assuming' you were not? I'll give you a second to contemplate.....Ok, times up. If you guessed- "Because she changed her mind about dating me" then bingo, we have a winner!!! If not, you still have alot to learn my friend. Infact...Oh you werent finished? Ok, continue Mr. Chieftan.

I ask her if she wants to try to do something next weds and she gets an attitude and says she has friends coming. I just heard low interest so I flat out asked her "are you saying no not next week or no never." She was obviously not expecting this and just responded with a flustered "nows not the time."

Aha! You are an intelligent life form far advanced from those "Nice Guys" and "AFC's" Great Job!!!

Bad move

WHAT!?! No it was not, you just saved yourself tons of time!

I was seriously, pissed I was still planning on having the worst date ever cause my friend just died, and she doesnt want to do it cause she is "blah." I get off the phone after a couple more curt words. Up till this point she had been demonstrating high interest, I'm pretty sure I actually did leave some ambiguity about which date, but still.....

Huston, we have a problem. I see what you did. You put HER before YOU. Your friend died and all you wanted to do was go on a date with her?!? You were even going to settle on a lousy/worst date?!? What is a matter with you? Maybe I was wrong when I said you werent an "Average Frustrated Chump", maybe not the "Frustrated" part but definitely still a "Chump". (No offense) and what made you think she was demonstrating "high interest"? because you provide no details supporting that claim (Besides getting her number, which means nothing btw), infact what you have stated about her thus far shows this polar opposite. I guess thats the "Chump" in you making stuff up, imagining stuff to believe in something that has not foundation...

I wait a week and call her leave a message seeing if she wants to do something. Never a call back.

Was that one of those mythical 'demonstrations of high interest'? But hey maybe her phone broke, maybe it got cut off, maybe she was kidnapped, maybe she was murdered, or may (Quite likely) she doesnt like you?

I know this is done and am trying not to be AFC about this

What, noooo who would have ever thought that? :yawn:

but we do operate in tangential social circles and I see her every couple months. If I see her again should I be like my friend died the day you flaked?

I have to exit, but the short answer, no dont do that. lol I thought that would have been obvious.

 

[Hidden-Hand]

double post.

 

[Prodigy746]

you are an afc bro ... you acted way too needy this girl is lost trust me. If you see her talk to her normally but i dont think you have a chance with her. I woldnt mention anything about your friend dying. .