Freezing up when flirting begins

[crossedup]

So I've gained about 10 pounds of muscle in the past few months and have been taking very good care of myself. Quit drinking, eating super healthy, sleeping well, meditation, focused on my goals and improving confidence. I would say in the last two months I have gone under a transformation. Everything just feels right, it's f*cking awesome.

Well, I looked at a photo of myself from 2 years ago and I look like a completely different person now. Like I look f*cking good now and finally have confidence in my life. I was a wreck throughout high school and most of college, thought I was ugly when I wasn't, submissive, that sort of sh*t. I got women when I was wasted and had no sober game. I avoided most women completely when sober.

Now I see no fulfillment in that sh*t and I'm focused on success more than anything. Talking to women is becoming easier and I am getting attention from them, been called hot and I know it now. I have never had this attention in my life and it's strange. I have no problem conversing with people and it doesn't matter if I'm talking with a hot girl or not.

So my conversation with hb is flowing, going well, and then the flirting begins. I freezeup/get nervous ever f*cking time the flirting begins or interest is shown from the girl! Or she does some kind of flirty test and I just fail. Some kind of stupid mental block. When the conversation fizzles out, I know what I should have said, but it's too late of course. Like I have so much f*cking knowledge of this stuff, my head and nerves are the only thing holding me back. I could have had so many more chances at hot p*ssy recently, but I'm getting in my own way. Have had some intimacy issues in the past that are probably messing with my head, but I would like to hear your opinions/advice. Have any of you guys as you've been improving gone through a stage like this? If so, how did you get over this hurdle?

 

[Uncharted]

Just keep grinding. When I was younger I was in the same boat.

My bar approach was TERRIBLE when I was younger (21-23). I would literally wait for a girl to talk to me or one of my friends (we were all stupid). After a while it just clicked.

 

[NewAndImproved]

This^^^^

You're now in phase 2. You've changed, but some of your old thoughts, beliefs and feelings are still there. As long as you keep acting in this new way (and are continuing to notice the positive feedback you've been getting) you'll continue to progress.

As for "freezing up" lower the bar. Accept that you're not that comfortable flirting but that you can't go from sucking to brilliant witty James Bond overnight. Speaking from experience, it's only tough because you think you have to go from nothing to amazing. Just say whatever. Lower the bar.

Most of what I say nowadays still isn't gold either but it's enough.

 

[crossedup]

Thanks for the tips men. I gotta keep truckin. Things are getting pretty crazy, like my confidence is going through the roof. I believe it's all these new habits I have taken up and my sheer will to try and become the best person I can be in all aspects of life. Dunno if you read that "I'm sorry" thread, but today I had two girls submissively say I'm sorry to me. One was smokin hot, I didn't capitalize lol. The other was like 15 but she just kept lookin at me, made me a little uncomfortable tbh. Getting lots of eye contact, and these girls are lookers too. Oh, one girl at the gym did blatantly move away from me to a machine exactly like the one she was on, lol cuz I believe I was looking a little too much at her, damn she was sexy but whatever.

I look good, but not a huge amount better than before. I believe my motion is slowing down, more confident movements, more carefree attitude is shining through. I'm giving less of a f*ck every day. I still have huge trouble approaching. It's wierd, like I know if I approach it wouldn't be too hard. I basically can just go direct on these girls since they are making things obvious. I don't need to f*ck around with crazy game or anything. I'm not even really that nervous, but I can't do it, I can't bring myself too. I just think social conditioning is just not allowing me to move. Before my heart would race out of control, but now it's just like "naw, I don't feel like it, gotta go do_______".

Thought I would share my improvement and hopefully there is more to come. I know I'm gonna get this down eventually. I completely believe in myself and it will be so great when I break down these final protective barriers. I know I have the look, it's now about taking the proper action. Even just going up and asking for the number would probably work. I dunno, just gotta try sh*t see if it works. Bringing myself to approach is the main problem, but f*ck it, I gotta do this for me, I gotta be as successful as I can in this one life I live!

 

[r0cky]

You freeze up because you start going into your head. You can only do one thing at a time, think or take action, you can not do both. So next time when the flirting start listen to what she is saying and not to what your mind is saying.

 

[zenaddict]

you freeze up because you think you have to special to be worthy of her time, if you believed that you are a real man, it will never happen

a man acts out of his own intention, a woman reacts to everybody else`s intenions

a man knows what he wants and goes after it, a woman is just pretty and expects to be worshipped

a man leads, a woman follows