François de La Rochefoucauld

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Master Don Juan
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I was listening to a promoted track "An Ember's Arc" off of Be'lakor's "Vessels" (2016) on YouTube the other day. A pullquote appeared in the video that caught my attention so I looked up François de La Rochefoucauld in wikipedia. The interesting thing about this 17th-century nobleman is that he appears to embody many DJ principles we profess here. I've collected my favorite maxims of his. Underlined emphasis for words that stood out to me.

From Reflections on Various Subjects (1665–1678)

I. On Confidence
Though sincerity and confidence have many points of resemblance, they have yet many points of difference. Sincerity is an openness of heart, which shows us what we are, a love of truth, a dislike to deception, a wish to compensate our faults and to lessen them by the merit of confessing them.

Confidence always pleases those who receive it. It is a tribute we pay to their merit, a deposit we commit to their trust, a pledge which gives them a claim upon us, a kind of dependence to which we voluntarily submit. I do not wish from what I have said to depreciate confidence, so necessary to man.

II. On Difference of Character
Although all the qualities of mind may be united in a great genius, yet there are some which are special and peculiar to him; his views are unlimited; he always acts uniformly and with the same activity; he sees distant objects as if present; he comprehends and grasps the greatest, sees and notices the smallest matters; his thoughts are elevated, broad, just and intelligible. Nothing escapes his observation, and he often finds truth in spite of the obscurity that hides her from others. A lofty mind always thinks nobly, it easily creates vivid, agreeable, and natural fancies, places them in their best light, clothes them with all appropriate adornments, studies others' tastes, and clears away from its own thoughts all that is useless and disagreeable.

There is a difference between an ardent and a brilliant mind, a fiery spirit travels further and faster, while a brilliant mind is sparkling, attractive, accurate.

III. On Taste
The word taste has different meanings, which it is easy to mistake. There is a difference between the taste which in certain objects has an attraction for us, and the taste that makes us understand and distinguish the qualities we judge by.

Some have a species of instinct (the source of which they are ignorant of), and decide all questions that come before them by its aid, and always decide rightly. These follow their taste more than their intelligence, because they do not permit their temper and self-love to prevail over their natural discernment. All they do is in harmony, all is in the same spirit. This harmony makes them decide correctly on matters, and form a correct estimate of their value. But speaking generally there are few who have a taste fixed and independent of that of their friends, they follow example and fashion which generally form the standard of taste.

IV. On Society
....

V. On Conversation
The reason why so few persons are agreeable in conversation is that each thinks more of what he desires to say, than of what the others say, and that we make bad listeners when we want to speak. Yet it is necessary to listen to those who talk, we should give them the time they want, and let them say even senseless things; never contradict or interrupt them; on the contrary, we should enter into their mind and taste, illustrate their meaning, praise anything they say that deserves praise, and let them see we praise more from our choice than from agreement with them. To please others we should talk on subjects they like and that interest them, avoid disputes upon indifferent matters, seldom ask questions, and never let them see that we pretend to be better informed than they are.

We are sure to displease when we speak too long and too often of one subject, and when we try to turn the conversation upon subjects that we think more instructive than others, we should enter indifferently upon every subject that is agreeable to others, stopping where they wish, and avoiding all they do not agree with.

VI. On Falsehood
...

VII. On Air and Manner
All men want to be different, and to be greater than they are; they seek for an air other than their own, and a mind different from what they possess; they take their style and manner at chance. They make experiments upon themselves without considering that what suits one person will not suit everyone, that there is no universal rule for taste or manners, and that there are no good copies.

Few men, nevertheless, can have unison in many matters without being a copy of each other, if each follow his natural turn of mind. But in general a person will not wholly follow it. He loves to imitate. We often imitate the same person without perceiving it, and we neglect our own good qualities for the good qualities of others, which generally do not suit us.

Reflections; or Sentences and Moral Maxims (1665–1678)
- Our virtues are most frequently but vices in disguise.
- Passion often renders the most clever man a fool, and even sometimes renders the most foolish man clever.
- Neither the sun nor death can be looked at steadily.
- If we had no faults, we should not take so much pleasure in noting those of others.
- We promise according to our hopes; we fulfill according to our fears.
- Those who apply themselves too much to little things often become incapable of great ones.
- To succeed in the world we do everything we can to appear successful already.
- Sincerity is an openness of heart; we find it in very few people; what we usually see is only an artful dissimulation to win the confidence of others.
- It is more difficult to avoid being ruled than to rule others.
- There is great skill in knowing how to conceal one's skill.
- It is impossible to fall back in love with what one has stopped being in love with.
- Mediocre minds usually dismiss anything which reaches beyond their own understanding.

Later Additions to the Maxims
-The reason that there are so few good conversationalists is that most people are thinking about what they are going to say and not about what the others are saying.
-One must listen if one wishes to be listened to.
 
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