FRAME

[flowtheory]

Hey all,

So after many threads and topics, searching and research, I’ve decided to make a thread pertaining to the widely and most ambiguous term; Frame.
Frame is foundational here, and needs to be constructed in what I believe to be pragmatic yet simple way.

So for simplicity sake and not get too deep and over complicate a foundational layer, I’m curious to know what your guys’ perspective is in relation to frame.

Simple enough that if you had a young child you could explain it to him. Effectively and impactful.

 

[lamath]

For me frame is my reality, how i see and experience things and what i value.

 

[marmel75]

Frame is allowing her to be drawn into your world not you being drawn into hers.

 

[fastlife]

Simple: Frame is your experience of yourself. Game is your ability to draw other people into that experience.

Notice I didn't say anything about reality or the environment or defining the relationships around you. Those are tangential. Your experience of all of those things flows from your experience of yourself. For instance, if you see yourself as unlovable, then you'll find nothing but people who don't like you. And vice versa. Your selective focus will hone in on the people and environmental dynamics that reinforce that frame and reject the ones who don't.

 

[Spaz]

Frame = core values+principles+how you do things.

Core values = your inherent personality and what you were taught as a child (you cannot change this)

Principles = how you think on the knowledge that you're learned, experienced, saw or understood.

How you do things = it's either influenced by how you think or by your core values.
____________________________________________

The question u r asking is actually wanting to know how to frame yourself to suit what you want (if I understand the motivation of this thread).

1st deeply think on the type of man you want to be.

Then proceed to imbue yourself with all the available knowledge on it and consciously practice it daily until such a time it becomes part of psyche/principles.

From there it will automatically flow into how you do things that ultimately yield the results you desire.

Edit : Most men allow primacy of their core values to influence how they do things. This is the root cause of most men failures in life in everything he does. The frame that works best shall work in every sphere of his life and not just with women.

 

[BeExcellent]

Frame is your experience of yourself. Game is your ability to draw other people into that experience.

Concur 100%. But it is more than that. Frame is the solidity of self expression and the strength of self belief. Strong frame is unshakable in the presence of another and in the face of circumstance. If one's self experience is weak, one's frame is correspondingly weak. If one's self experience is strong, one's frame is correspondingly strong. Game is the ability to draw others into your own experience and also the ability to allow life to flow around you and through you without wavering in who you are.

 

[Focal core]

Frame is knowing what you are, who you are, finding who you're not, looking at what you do, How you do anything, is how you do everything. Learn from your mistake, makes amends and grow into a better person.

 

[lamath]

Most men allow primacy of their core values to influence how they do things. This is the root cause of most men failures in life in everything he does. The frame that works best shall work in every sphere of his life and not just with women.

Core value are acquired in youth and are probably the reason why men are less and less manly being raised by either single mom or a dad that was not often at home.
Boys need good manly role models.

Core value imo can be change but its hard, its like facing some deep rooted fear.
ik some i need to change on myself because they are making me a weaker man.

The one ik atm are being a people pleaser and mostly conflict avoider.
Trying to not give a **** when i displease and get into more conflict when its needed.

 

[Spaz]

Core value are acquired in youth and are probably the reason why men are less and less manly being raised by either single mom or a dad that was not often at home.
Boys need good manly role models.

Core value imo can be change but its hard, its like facing some deep rooted fear.
ik some i need to change on myself because they are making me a weaker man.

The one ik atm are being a people pleaser and mostly conflict avoider.
Trying to not give a **** when i displease and get into more conflict when its needed.

Sorry buddy, core values can't be changed. It's forever.

But it can be suppressed and not hold primacy.

That's where principles come into play.

 

[lamath]

Sorry buddy, core values can't be changed. It's forever.

But it can be suppressed and not hold primacy.

That's where principles come into play.

You think?
Possible what im think has core value are not?
Seriously i give way too much ****s about pleasing people

 

[Focal core]

Core value are acquired in youth and are probably the reason why men are less and less manly being raised by either single mom or a dad that was not often at home.
Boys need good manly role models.

Core value imo can be change but its hard, its like facing some deep rooted fear.
ik some i need to change on myself because they are making me a weaker man.

The one ik atm are being a people pleaser and mostly conflict avoider.
Trying to not give a **** when i displease and get into more conflict when its needed.

Yes ure on the right track, yes and facing deep rooted fear mainly caused by our childhood is the main concern.. Keep up the good work.

 

[Spaz]

if your values were imposed by others it can be hard but it is possible. i feel that i came to a point where i developed my own values but it took a **** TON of work and questioning all my assumptions, habits, ideas, way of viewing the world etc. If there was a college course on this College would be worth it 100000%

Core values is what you're learnt during childhood plus your inherent personality trait(dominant/passive). You cannot unlearn this.

It's always present.

 

[Spaz]

You think?
Possible what im think has core value are not?
Seriously i give way too much ****s about pleasing people

Yes it can be suppressed via principles (how you think).

 

[lamath]

Yes it can be suppressed via principles (how you think).

Making me wish my dad was more at home when i was younger. i would have turned out way better.
TBH im far from a AFC but i k that wanting to please ppl too much is bad for me
My Dad got some bad character traits like being an A-Hole to many people and he has his own buisness with about 30 employee that he leads like a dictator.

Might not be the best form of leadership but still he always had things turn out how he wanted.

 

[Spaz]

Making me wish my dad was more at home when i was younger. i would have turned out way better.
TBH im far from a AFC but i k that wanting to please ppl too much is bad for me
My Dad got some bad character traits like being an A-Hole to many people and he has his own buisness with about 30 employee that he leads like a dictator.

Might not be the best form of leadership but still he always had things turn out how he wanted.

There's basically 3 effective forms of leadership.

1. Leadership that applies to less then 7 people

2. Leadership that applies to more then 7 people, of which you're experienced ur dad wielding.

3. Leadership that applies to more then 7 people via empowerment - the type of leadership I practice and espouse.

 

[ohrein]

Frame is simply your values and expectations.

For example, a value I have is honesty. An expectation is that the people I deal with are honest. You do not adhere to my frame, you do not get to be a part of my life.

If a woman I'm dating is dishonest with me, let's say I find out she's been seeing a coworker for dates when I have expressed I do not want to date a woman who entertains other guys one on one, then the decision becomes maintain your frame or weaken it. Men who allow women to weaken their frame end up with women who do not respect them and do not treat them with respect. Hypergamy will not allow a woman to stay with a man she doesn't respect over time. This is the problem with betas. They can get into relationships and they seemingly go well early on. But their frame erodes bit by bit as they try to please a woman, they let her get away with anything, and the respect slowly dwindles into nothing.

 

[Focal core]

Making me wish my dad was more at home when i was younger. i would have turned out way better.
TBH im far from a AFC but i k that wanting to please ppl too much is bad for me
My Dad got some bad character traits like being an A-Hole to many people and he has his own buisness with about 30 employee that he leads like a dictator.

Might not be the best form of leadership but still he always had things turn out how he wanted.

If Pleasing people are deeply entrenched in you and its giving you power and self esteem everytime you do so, it might be a symptom of poor self worth.due to the absent of father attention like you mention, and bad parenting. Raised your self worth, and you might have trouble differentiate between feelings and thoughts, try to differentiate between feelings and thought, honor your feelings, responds to your own personal needs matters the most.

 

[fastlife]

Sorry buddy, core values can't be changed. It's forever.

But it can be suppressed and not hold primacy.

That's where principles come into play.

That’s horse sh1t lol. Your values & identity are always in a state of flux, based on your environment.

For instance, as a kid one of your core values might be “drugs are bad.” Your parents, teachers, etc. all tell you drugs are bad. But then you get to middle school and all your friends smoke pot and then all of the sudden you think weed is the best thing ever.

Or your core value might be that “girls are inherently good and deserve a default respect.” That’s pretty a commonly socialized core value. and then you get a girlfriend and she cheats on you and all of the sudden women are evil and can’t be trusted, etc.

But that’s just a demonstration of how external pressure or trauma can change your core values. Once you’re aware of the dynamics that drive you, you can change them. Yeah, it’s hard to change 20+ years of internalized beliefs—it takes a sh1tload if work. But it’s totally doable. Don’t give me (and especially people who are earlier in their transition and less sure of their direction) a, Welp, you were just born that way, better luck next time, copout.

 

[HughJasolphd]

Keep exposing yourself to life and you’ll have a stronger and stronger frame.

This is something I need to continuously remind myself. I think the only way we truly learn is by going through the proverbial fire. It's so interesting how we're all wired so differently. Like for instance I'm super new to this forum & am around guys who are so beyond experienced with getting tons of girls & are able to hold frame regardless of what goes on in their personal lives with chicks, where as I know I'm my newness of red pill philosophy I still falter to old conditioning here & there. It's apparent you guys didn't get good as this **** overnight & had to deal with all the **** I'm currently learning about. It's nice to see that others have made it through to the other side & improved in they wanted..it keeps me motivated to keep going.

Frame for me has always been about keeping my cool in or under high pressure. I wish frame was a one size fits all across all situations sometimes; with my lung issues I've been through so much **** in 27rs of life that when something happens medical wise, my heart will rarely skip a beat..cold as ice. I get more nervous & in my own head chatting up chicks than I would having a chest tube put in in the emergency room..it makes no sense lol

 

[Spaz]

That’s horse sh1t lol. Your values & identity are always in a state of flux, based on your environment.

For instance, as a kid one of your core values might be “drugs are bad.” Your parents, teachers, etc. all tell you drugs are bad. But then you get to middle school and all your friends smoke pot and then all of the sudden you think weed is the best thing ever.

Or your core value might be that “girls are inherently good and deserve a default respect.” That’s pretty a commonly socialized core value. and then you get a girlfriend and she cheats on you and all of the sudden women are evil and can’t be trusted, etc.

But that’s just a demonstration of how external pressure or trauma can change your core values. Once you’re aware of the dynamics that drive you, you can change them. Yeah, it’s hard to change 20+ years of internalized beliefs—it takes a sh1tload if work. But it’s totally doable. Don’t give me (and especially people who are earlier in their transition and less sure of their direction) a, Welp, you were just born that way, better luck next time, copout.

R u trying to bullshiit people into believing they can travel into their past and change their childhood ?

They can't.

Go back and read the entirety of my post in this thread to understand better.

If you can't then let me know, I'd be happy to explain it.