FR: Solo club mission, free drink but no digits?

[So Many Ways]

Last night I decided to do a solo mission and head to the club by myself.

I'm sitting in my house and all my friends pretty much lagged and didn't want to do anything and I have an extremely rare Saturday night off from work. I'm kinda pissed off and I'm like f*ck this, I'm going out. After all, I started reading the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers so figured it would be good to face the apprehension of going out and approaching women without my friends backing me up. I'm tired of sitting at home at night because my friends don't want to do sh*t. F*ck that. I can't meet any women sitting on my ass, right?

The first spot I went to was dead, the parking lot was empty so I head to the second spot. I pay my $10 to get in and I get me a beer to calm my nerves. I look around to see who would be favorable targets and walk around a little bit. I check my vicinity looking for signals, following Player Supreme's observation game and the only one I see giving off those vibes is Warren Sapp in a wig, hell the f*ck no.

I decide to post up somewhere else, trying to psych myself to do a cold approach. I've decided to avoid just randomly going up to chicks on the dance floor when I go out. Even though it has worked for me in the past, I want to improve my conservational skills, since I think that would be more valuable in the long run. At any rate, after sipping on a rum and coke, I spot a favorable target.

This shorty had some tight jeans, revealing some delicious curves, a white top and glasses. There's something about women with a nice pair of glasses, she kind of had that cute nerdy look going on. I didn't approach right away, I pretty much violated the 3 second rule. On top of that, I didn't get eye contact before hand, I went in completely cold.

I don't remember the conversation word for word. I'm astonished at the memory of some of the posters of the field reports on this site and on the ASF site. Here is some things to note.

* When I walked over to her, I was nervous as hell but as soon as I introduced myself, all nerves disappeared and I felt completely confortable. The last time I did an off the dance floor club cold approach, I got more nervous as the conversation progressed to the point where I ejected and wanted to hide. This didn't happen this time.

* She was friendly and receptive, laughed at my jokes, there seemed to be good rapport going on.

* I did very light C&F, just playful type stuff. She made a comment saying that she wasn't used to looking up at a guy in reference to my height, so I told her that she'd better get used to it, which was accompanied by a shocked "I can't believe he just said that" look. I also told her that she looked good for age, since she was 31, which she ate up.

* She offered to buy me a drink, which I accepted of course. She left to go get the drink and I noticed some fat chick giving me the eye, but fat chicks are off limits. I'm not going back there, no way.

* She came back with the drink and I thanked her, told her that I had to get going, and then attempted the # close. She gave me some story that she lives with her parents but I could give her my number. I know this is a blowoff, but I give her my number anyway, give her a hug and left. I didn't see any good targets for the rest of the evening, so I went home shortly thereafter.

I know there are some things I could have done better. Perhaps I could have teased her about living with her parents at 31. Maybe I could have been more persistant with the number close or tried to do a venue change. I probably should have gotten her on the dance floor, so I could get more physical with her.

At any rate, I'm going to go out by myself more often, it's not really that big of a deal. I do have some sticking points:

* Approaching groups by myself. I'm used to approaching with a wing.
* Getting over the awkward feeling of being by myself
* Getting into state/relying on alcohol to get in state

I think that stuff can improve with time.

Thoughts?

 

[DoubleA]

Yo

Why didn't you talk to her longer? I would have been trying to get her back to the crib. I mean she bought you a drink. She could've been open to going back and to doing something. I found the best way to get a honeydip open is to get her by herself. But try it again and let me know how it goes down again. Holla.

 

[Donald Kaufman]

You challenged your comfort zone and didn't fall back on old game. You discovered things that, in the long run, will be more valuable then a single #. Give a man a fish/Teach a man to fish.
Chalk it up as a win.

 

[Enzo]

I had a similar experience where I was at a club and it was a poor night. I nearly afc'ed out on myself but I decided f'it and just try. On the first woman I tried it on I tried approaching her but had heard that asking someone to dance does not work. So I grabbed her hand and mumbled something really lacking confidence cause I had nothing to say. It did not work.

I decided that as long as I approach a girl with confidence it does not matter what I say. I saw another girl and confidently asked her to dance but she said she is already dancing (indicating that she does not want to dance with me!). I had that sensation where after approaching, the nerves just dissappear too. I noticed that she had a different accent and just started chatting to her about where she was from and what she does and it was cool . I did not try to get her number cause when I got up close to her I did not find her that attractive but I was a bit of a confidence boost as there was quite a decent conversation going and those pre-approach nerves just vanished. Definately something I will do again. Once you get going it is fun wether it works out or not!

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Good stuff to go outside your box and do your thing.

I'm not trying to be a pessimist, but 31 and she can't give you the number to her mommy and daddys? What no cell phone? But of course she took your number right?

I think she genuinly digs you...but she has a bf. That's what my experience with that kind of blow off comes to. Its all good, when the bf slips, she'll call.

But yea. I would have gotten more rapport from her. Go with her to get the drink...do some isolation to get her away from her group of friends.

I dont know your senerio completely, but I totally feel your attitude toward your buddies. If you were in Seattle, I'd wing with you.

When I hit 28, like 98% of my guy friends are in LTRs of 3+years or more and/or married. The other 2% are too freggin lazy to hit the spots or cheap to pay the cover.

Like you said..you can't meet women staying at home playing Halo all day.

 

[LADawg49]

Hey So Many Ways, I gotta give u huge props by goin out by yoruself and approachin women. Like u, most of my freinds would rather play video games or whack off to porn or are too shy to talk to women. Like u , I haven't had much time to go out with college takin up all of it. But when I approach, its usually solo. Since u also live in the L.A. area, what are some good spots u would recommend me hittin up when it comes to approachin women?

 

[Ricky]

Only thing I'd add to that is, maybe you should have asked for her e-mail instead of the phone number. I do that sometimes as a first choice. It helps me balance a few girls for a week or two.

Then after a while get the phone number by e-mail. It's amazing how well this can actually work. Now a caveat is that sometimes it works great and sometimes it doesn't work at all, but either way it is really a great way for a busy guy to juggle a few girls and the best part is building interest through e-mails (****y and funny)

I have actually now picked up several girls after playing the e-mail game for a while and then eventually calling them and going out with them.

It can be a 2 or 3 week process anywhere up to a 2 month process but it is well worth it.