think I took being a challenge (and being ****y) a little too far on saturday night, and missed out on one of the most blatant demonstrations of interest from a girl so far in my life..
was in the club, relatively merry, with 2 mates, we were drinking, talking and I noticed a group of 4 girls drinking champagne (or fizzy white wine probably) in the corner near us. When my mates went off to buy drinks I was stood on my own, so I did something I would never have done a few months ago, and approached the group of girls, they didnt seem to notice me coming, I said, "so what are you ladies celebrating tonight then?" and one turned to me and said, "we're just out having a good time" then turned away, I replied "so you drink champagne on every night out do you?" and she said, "its her 21st birthday tonight" pointing to one of the girls, then turned away again. I said happy birthday to her, and decided to cut my losses and walked back to where I'd been standing. Maybe it was my lack of social proof, or that I'd interrupted an important conversation they were having but they didnt seem interested in talking to me, I wasn't too bothered though, I'd made the effort and it still felt good.
Then my mates turned up with loads of drinks, we carried on drinking and chatting, then one of the girls from the group came up to my friend and started talking to him about it being her birthday, and how about he bought her a birthday drink... He said, "well, I would, but its not my round, its his" and pointed to me.. So she came to me and started asking for a drink.. Well, since she'd shown no interest before, I was definitely in no mood to buy her anything, and I'm usually wary about buying drinks for girls anyway unless we've been chatting for a while, so I said (in a friendly way) "you'll be lucky! Do I look like I've got MUG tattooed across my forehead?" (I wish I'd remembered the 'I only buy drinks for girls I've seen naked' line)
Later on, after I've been to the bar, come back, and had a few more drinks, that justin timberlake song comes on, the one that goes, "it feels like somethings heating up can I leave here with you" and then the ladies sing, "I don't know what I'm thinking bout, really leaving with you" well one of the girls from the group, a solid 8 (not the birthday girl) suddenly appeared in front of me, and sang the line to me, maintaing full on eye contact as she did so. Once she'd finished I took my phone out of my pocket for the time (I dont have a watch at the moment), and then said, "It's a little early for that don't you think? Its only 20 to 1." She looked dissapointed, and then I think she said something, (although I can't remember what it was) to which I replied, "Well, I'm a hard man to please." Then she went back to her friends.
I've been kicking myself, she was fit, she was clearly interested, it was on a silver platter, but with only a split second to reply to her I remembered how little interest she'd shown on my initial approach and that I would therefore punish her for it by playing hard to get a little longer.. pathetic. All I achieved is upsetting her a bit and making her give up on me, plus making it harder for me to try and initiate anything later. I didnt make it obvious enough that I was joking and that I was interested..
A little later on the birthday girl tapped me on my arm and said "sorry to bother you again, but can I borrow your lighter?" she seemed almost intimidated by me now. I said "no problem" gave it to her and then took it back when she'd finished. Then me and my friends decided to go on the dancefloor and we didnt see them again...
Still, while I've missed out, at least the episode has boosted my confidence and ego a little more, and approaching groups no longer seems quite so scary.. Next lesson, remember that I am trying to attract women, and If I succeed in doing that I should take advantage rather than being annoyed that they may not have been initially attracted to me. Sex is better than pride.
2 factors in this field report I think, social proof and being a challenge.. After my initial approach (which failed possibly because of lack of social proof) I didn't really look over at the girls much or give that much attention, but the approach had sparked interest.
was in the club, relatively merry, with 2 mates, we were drinking, talking and I noticed a group of 4 girls drinking champagne (or fizzy white wine probably) in the corner near us. When my mates went off to buy drinks I was stood on my own, so I did something I would never have done a few months ago, and approached the group of girls, they didnt seem to notice me coming, I said, "so what are you ladies celebrating tonight then?" and one turned to me and said, "we're just out having a good time" then turned away, I replied "so you drink champagne on every night out do you?" and she said, "its her 21st birthday tonight" pointing to one of the girls, then turned away again. I said happy birthday to her, and decided to cut my losses and walked back to where I'd been standing. Maybe it was my lack of social proof, or that I'd interrupted an important conversation they were having but they didnt seem interested in talking to me, I wasn't too bothered though, I'd made the effort and it still felt good.
Then my mates turned up with loads of drinks, we carried on drinking and chatting, then one of the girls from the group came up to my friend and started talking to him about it being her birthday, and how about he bought her a birthday drink... He said, "well, I would, but its not my round, its his" and pointed to me.. So she came to me and started asking for a drink.. Well, since she'd shown no interest before, I was definitely in no mood to buy her anything, and I'm usually wary about buying drinks for girls anyway unless we've been chatting for a while, so I said (in a friendly way) "you'll be lucky! Do I look like I've got MUG tattooed across my forehead?" (I wish I'd remembered the 'I only buy drinks for girls I've seen naked' line)
Later on, after I've been to the bar, come back, and had a few more drinks, that justin timberlake song comes on, the one that goes, "it feels like somethings heating up can I leave here with you" and then the ladies sing, "I don't know what I'm thinking bout, really leaving with you" well one of the girls from the group, a solid 8 (not the birthday girl) suddenly appeared in front of me, and sang the line to me, maintaing full on eye contact as she did so. Once she'd finished I took my phone out of my pocket for the time (I dont have a watch at the moment), and then said, "It's a little early for that don't you think? Its only 20 to 1." She looked dissapointed, and then I think she said something, (although I can't remember what it was) to which I replied, "Well, I'm a hard man to please." Then she went back to her friends.
I've been kicking myself, she was fit, she was clearly interested, it was on a silver platter, but with only a split second to reply to her I remembered how little interest she'd shown on my initial approach and that I would therefore punish her for it by playing hard to get a little longer.. pathetic. All I achieved is upsetting her a bit and making her give up on me, plus making it harder for me to try and initiate anything later. I didnt make it obvious enough that I was joking and that I was interested..
A little later on the birthday girl tapped me on my arm and said "sorry to bother you again, but can I borrow your lighter?" she seemed almost intimidated by me now. I said "no problem" gave it to her and then took it back when she'd finished. Then me and my friends decided to go on the dancefloor and we didnt see them again...
Still, while I've missed out, at least the episode has boosted my confidence and ego a little more, and approaching groups no longer seems quite so scary.. Next lesson, remember that I am trying to attract women, and If I succeed in doing that I should take advantage rather than being annoyed that they may not have been initially attracted to me. Sex is better than pride.
2 factors in this field report I think, social proof and being a challenge.. After my initial approach (which failed possibly because of lack of social proof) I didn't really look over at the girls much or give that much attention, but the approach had sparked interest.
