Former one-itis just separated from husband, I'm seeing her this weekend....

[Greasy Pig]

When I was 18, I worked with this chick and I was in love with her.

But, as I was still well and truly plugged in to the Matrix, I went complete AFC....you know, listened for hours while she b1tched about blokes, then she got a boyfriend and I orbited her like a lost little puppy hoping she would just acknowledge my existence.
It was the classic scenario. Me thinking that if I was really, really nice to her, one day she would just snap to her senses and pledge her undying devotion for me. blah blah blah.

After a couple of years, I left town but we kept in touch. She eventually got married, had two kids. I've caught up with her a few times when I passed through her town. Just lunch and one night out at the pub with her and her husband.

Anyway, two weeks ago, she texts me saying she's changing her phone number. I asked her why and she said she'd just separated from her husband and was moving house.
I immediately started running game on her and, after a couple of weeks, suggested we get together for a drink to celebrate her just graduating from university and starting her new life as a single mum.
She instantly and enthusiastically agreed. She even suggested the time, date and venue and suggested I crash at her place `so we can have a few drinks'.

Now, I'm under no illusions here and I am determined to approach this meeting with ice water in my veins. I will not feed her ego if she tries to get me to validate her worth as a 35-yr-old divorcee, and I will continue establishing myself as the prize.
I will continue to game her using the C&F techniques which she has seemed to respond to best and I will fill her full of booze and see what happens.

As I've said on these forums before, I'm not interested in raising someone else's spawn, and she lives 300km away, so I'm not going in for anything other than to fulfil a 20-year fantasy. She still looks fit and as hot as she did when she was 18, maybe even hotter.
I call it "Shawshanking", as in `The Shawshank Redemption' when it took Andy Dufresne all that time just chipping away until he achieved his goal.
I've done it before, but this would be my finest achievement - a 20-year Shawshank!

I'm just wondering. Who here has been in this situation before? How did it pan out? Any tips for success? Any pitfalls to avoid? She's only been separated for a month or so after being married for 10 years. Does this mean she will be keen for a good fvcking from some other dude or will she still be mindful of her ex?

I'm really aware that maybe she's so keen to see me because she just still sees me as that good, old dependable friend from 20 years ago who poses no threat to her and won't try to take advantage of her.
I'll see what happens and not get too invested.

Cheers.
I will post an update after next Saturday night's meeting.

 

[Findog]

I'm just wondering. Who here has been in this situation before? How did it pan out? Any tips for success? Any pitfalls to avoid? She's only been separated for a month or so after being married for 10 years. Does this mean she will be keen for a good fvcking from some other dude or will she still be mindful of her ex?

I'm really aware that maybe she's so keen to see me because she just still sees me as that good, old dependable friend from 20 years ago who poses no threat to her and won't try to take advantage of her.
I'll see what happens and not get too invested.

I've been in this situation before. First girl I ever really fell hard for, took her to my high school prom...but of course I was the classic AFC at the time, put her on a pedestal, killed her with niceness, definitely had oneitis for her. Anyways, shortly after prom she started dating a friend of mine, and as soon as she graduated from high school, he joined the navy and they eloped.

Ten years pass. I've not seen or heard from her in 10 years. I come across her myspace profile (this is 2007) since we had some friends in common. By this time I'm long over her, and I genuinely had no agenda other than to catch up, so I send her a "hey, how are you doing?" message. She replies back "Terrible. B____ and I are getting a divorce." We exchanged a few more messages, I suggested meeting up for a beer, one thing led to another, and we hooked up a few times.

She's probably really hard up for some sex. In my case, her ex-husband had cheated on her, left her for somebody else, and she had been celibate for months.

Just be cool, and at some point after a couple of drinks, gently initiate some kino.

 

[ilikecharlene]

if you just want to **** her, then there is no issue. But dating her may be different since she's out of a long marriage, and may want time to ground herself.

 

[sodbuster]

Freshly divorced women do everyone...one might as well be you.

 

[Greasy Pig]

UPDATE: OK. went out for dinner with her on Saturday night. I had not inclination she was interested in anything more than catching up with an old friend, but I was prepared for that and just kept being C&F and teasing her, not engaging her on personal or serious topics, being a bit mysterious and using a bit of kino.

Anyway, we get back to hers and start drinking. About an hour in we start reminiscing about the old days when we used to work together and how we used to talk all the time.
Then she blurts out that she always fancied me back then but never thought I would go for her because she thought I was so smart and wouldn't want to be with her because I used to give her sh!t for not knowing stuff.

I was gobsmacked. To think I'd lusted after this girl and lost sleep over her, thinking she didn't see anything romantic with me, and here she is saying this?
Obviously I know actions speak louder than words so I didn't make a big deal out of it but we were laughing about it when all of a sudden she just says: "Can I kiss you?"
So we start making out and then when I was going for gold, she put up the ASD because she `didn't want to lose me as a friend' blah blah blah.
But then, she dragged me to her bed and blew me for all I was worth. I was extremely pleased. I had this huge smile on my face thinking that after 20 years of uncertainty, here she was with her lips around my d!ck. Fvcking awesome.
She wants to meet up again soon but I'm a bit wary of continuing being physical with her. Of course I'd dearly love to fvck her brains out but she's recently separated with two kids, thinks she'll never find another man and is probably desperate for some contact from a some guy who's got a bit going for him.
I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I'm single, fit, drive a nice car, have a good job, no baggage.....I'm sure that's irresistible to women in her situation.

Anyway, we'll see what happens. Thanks for the advice and support!

 

[timmylivingalie]

UPDATE: OK. went out for dinner with her on Saturday night. I had not inclination she was interested in anything more than catching up with an old friend, but I was prepared for that and just kept being C&F and teasing her, not engaging her on personal or serious topics, being a bit mysterious and using a bit of kino.

Anyway, we get back to hers and start drinking. About an hour in we start reminiscing about the old days when we used to work together and how we used to talk all the time.
Then she blurts out that she always fancied me back then but never thought I would go for her because she thought I was so smart and wouldn't want to be with her because I used to give her sh!t for not knowing stuff.

I was gobsmacked. To think I'd lusted after this girl and lost sleep over her, thinking she didn't see anything romantic with me, and here she is saying this?
Obviously I know actions speak louder than words so I didn't make a big deal out of it but we were laughing about it when all of a sudden she just says: "Can I kiss you?"
So we start making out and then when I was going for gold, she put up the ASD because she `didn't want to lose me as a friend' blah blah blah.
But then, she dragged me to her bed and blew me for all I was worth. I was extremely pleased. I had this huge smile on my face thinking that after 20 years of uncertainty, here she was with her lips around my d!ck. Fvcking awesome.
She wants to meet up again soon but I'm a bit wary of continuing being physical with her. Of course I'd dearly love to fvck her brains out but she's recently separated with two kids, thinks she'll never find another man and is probably desperate for some contact from a some guy who's got a bit going for him.
I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I'm single, fit, drive a nice car, have a good job, no baggage.....I'm sure that's irresistible to women in her situation.

Anyway, we'll see what happens. Thanks for the advice and support!

Awesome!

 

[blueeyedgent]

Spin that plate! What's the harm in f*ck closing her?

 

[st_99]

I had this huge smile on my face thinking that after 20 years of uncertainty, here she was with her lips around my d!ck. Fvcking awesome.

LOL, the lord works in mysterious ways.

 

[Skalioppe]

You're the rebound fvck, the fvck to raise her damaged self esteem : the self esteem fvck.

Divorce = emotional fallout = fvcked self esteem = self esteem fvck.

If you can take it in context and milk the metaphoric cow for what you can get without falling into the milk bucket, you'll be ok. But presently you're the guaranteed action, and she'll probably drop you as soon as she's repaired, her marriage grieving is over, her confidence is raised and when she starts looking further afield for Alpha c0ck.

 

[pdx1138]

You're the rebound fvck, the fvck to raise her damaged self esteem : the self esteem fvck.

Divorce = emotional fallout = fvcked self esteem = self esteem fvck.

If you can take it in context and milk the metaphoric cow for what you can get without falling into the milk bucket, you'll be ok. But presently you're the guaranteed action, and she'll probably drop you as soon as she's repaired, her marriage grieving is over, her confidence is raised and when she starts looking further afield for Alpha c0ck.

Without a doubt. Thats exactly the situation. I've been there too.

I made the mistake of getting emotional because she was my first true love from high school that I never got to have.

20 years later and the fire re-ignited.

If I'd only kept thinking of her as a F buddy and NOTHING more, it would have gone much smoother.

If you play you're cards right, you could be getting free bangs for a year.

 

[Greasy Pig]

You're the rebound fvck, the fvck to raise her damaged self esteem : the self esteem fvck.

Divorce = emotional fallout = fvcked self esteem = self esteem fvck.

If you can take it in context and milk the metaphoric cow for what you can get without falling into the milk bucket, you'll be ok. But presently you're the guaranteed action, and she'll probably drop you as soon as she's repaired, her marriage grieving is over, her confidence is raised and when she starts looking further afield for Alpha c0ck.

Definitely agree and I don't mind at all.

If I'd only kept thinking of her as a F buddy and NOTHING more, it would have gone much smoother.

If you play you're cards right, you could be getting free bangs for a year.

That's a very good point. She's made it very clear that her first priority is her kids, second is her university studies, third is her work and fourth is her own family.
I"m waaaay down the list but I don't mind at all. She said she's happy to catch up whenever we're both free but made it clear there wouldn't be any pressure from her to meet up.