Forget this "Transformation" Mantra. Be you, but Indulge the Fantasy.

[ShawnStJames]

Becoming the alpha male image is, truth be told, probably a lot harder than it seems. For one thing....changing your self image is very difficult.

Besides, being a sensitive, caring, "nice guy" has its advantages. It leads to meaningful conversation,,,and you dont have to "pretend" to be some kind of Moronic, airheaded, Bad boy....which is really a LOSER.

I've found it better to change SOME things...what i call indulging the fantasy.

For example, LOOKING masculine is fairly easy. Lifting weights, looking tough, that's not a hard transition and it gives women what they want.

BECOMING decisive, firm, and traditional isnt too hard either. Making quick decisions and taking control is a process that can be learned.

But changing your basic personality into someone who never reveals weaknesses to women....never has extended phone conversations, i've chosen to forget all that. I break rules as i choose. Im not a robot. And besides...being decisive means making your own decisions.

Ive accepted that Im an intellectual...soft heart, compassionate, kind, and hopefully intelligent.

But at the same time...ill make some of the easy changes that benefit me.

I have the suspicion that i attract worthwhile women more than bad boys. After all....any chick that wants mystery more than reality.....well theyre living in a fantasy world with the type of baggage that i dont want.

 

[UltraMan]

Your approach reminds me of a quote I heard once, can't remember who said it..."All women want is a bouncer with a Ph.D."

 

[Dirtheart]

Nice tip!!! It took me a long time to reach this realisation, and now that I have, and I have stopped obeying the "rules of the game", I feel very comfortable and my success has improved as a result.

 

[que_est_suave]

Yeah that really helps... i was kinda getting to that conclusion myself. I can't really be myself if i have to follow the rules which make you not yourself... ahhh the power of paradox...

 

[Krassus]

Becoming the alpha male image is, truth be told, probably a lot harder than it seems. For one thing....changing your self image is very difficult.

Using "harder than it seems" and "very difficult" as arguments to justify not doing something is just plain stupid. Also, you're not supposed to become an IMAGE of anything! Be the real thing, dammit!

Besides, being a sensitive, caring, "nice guy" has its advantages. It leads to meaningful conversation,,,and you dont have to "pretend" to be some kind of Moronic, airheaded, Bad boy....which is really a LOSER.

Your logic has more holes in it than swiss cheese! Being a "nice guy" has no advantages, get over it. That's first. Second, you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not if you change yourself to be who you wanna be. Then you can just be you, but a new and better you. You say pretending is bad, yet that's exactly what you're advocating by saying we should give women an illusion of being great men instead of actually becoming great men. Isn't THAT being a loser? Finally, "moronic, airheaded" guys don't attract women. Physically and mentally STRONG men attract women. It just so happens that many of these men ALSO happen to be "moronic and airheaded."

I've found it better to change SOME things...what i call indulging the fantasy.

For example, LOOKING masculine is fairly easy. Lifting weights, looking tough, that's not a hard transition and it gives women what they want.

BECOMING decisive, firm, and traditional isnt too hard either. Making quick decisions and taking control is a process that can be learned.

You're just plain confused man. What you described as being an ALTERNATIVE to the transformation IS the transformation. It's all about changing the way you think and having your new thoughts direct your life in a more positive direction. Making the right decisions, such as the decision to start lifting, dressing better and being more decisive. That's not an illusion or a fantasy, that's the real thing.

But changing your basic personality into someone who never reveals weaknesses to women....never has extended phone conversations, i've chosen to forget all that. I break rules as i choose. Im not a robot. And besides...being decisive means making your own decisions.

The idea isn't to not REVEAL weaknesses to women. The idea is to not HAVE any weaknesses. Or at least to be able to deal with your weaknesses on your own, without relying on emotional support from others.

With regards to extended phone convos: you're supposed to genuinely be TOO BUSY to sit on the phone and talk to some chick for two hours, not PRETEND to be too busy. If you have an active social, sports and business life, this shouldn't be an issue.

Ive accepted that Im an intellectual...soft heart, compassionate, kind, and hopefully intelligent.

You share those qualities with myself and most other successfull men out there. They compliment and go hand in hand with everything i've talked about here.

But at the same time...ill make some of the easy changes that benefit me.

You start out with small changes to get yourself in the habit of making changes. Larger changes will gradually come in time.

I have the suspicion that i attract worthwhile women more than bad boys. After all....any chick that wants mystery more than reality.....well theyre living in a fantasy world with the type of baggage that i dont want.

Someone classified as a "good guy," or a person who has all/most of the best traits of the jerk and the nice guy and none/few of the worst, will be far more successfull at attracting women than either of those two characters. This is a category most successfull PUAs and successfull men in general would fall under.

All that also has little to nothing to do with creating mystery, which is a whole other topic. Mystery is a tool you can use selectively when you feel the need, not a personality trait. Although some people use it so consistently and to such great effect that to them, it does become a personality trait.

Anyway, i hope this opened up your eyes a little bit. It sounds like you're just getting started, but making some good decisions already. Just keep at it and never stop improving yourself.

 

[Six-String Samurai]

Krassus, you said everything I was too lazy to type

 

[AgonyUncle]

And Im sure, a 20 year old and 19 year old have more than enough experience to actually complement on the effectiveness of these methods.

 

[Krassus]

Originally posted by AgonyUncle
And Im sure, a 20 year old and 19 year old have more than enough experience to actually complement on the effectiveness of these methods.

As opposed to a 26-year-old who indulges his insecurities by claiming others are less intelligent than him because of their age?

 

[AgonyUncle]

Never said you lack intelligence. Just that you are fvcking naive if you think that KIDS your age are in a position to give advice on the effectiveness of methods in your what, 3-4 years dating experience?

Never ceases to amaze me. You get blokes who have gone through marriage on this site, yet you have babies telling them how why they don’t understand women. Stop posing, and start listening more. You have a hell of a lot more to learn about women before you are going to be in a position where you can start giving solid advice.

 

[Six-String Samurai]

Ignoring, for now, the fact that your post reeks with mean-spirited insecurity that hints at some (frankly) deeper personal issues, I'll indulge you for exactly one post and offer some form of a rebuttal.

Krassus and I make posts for the LEAST COMMON DENOMINATOR. When I post, I'm not usually too concerned about the person who originally posted the thread. I'm worried about all the thousands of lurking AFC's who might come across advice like the shyt in this post. This stuff will feed right into the average AFC's emotional apathy, allowing him to fall back into his own routines, except now he can justify it because he read on the sosuave boards that it was okay.

Plain and simple, I've been around enough women to know that the original post is flawed (thanks Krassus for breaking it down). Yes, you do get guys who have been married on this site, but you also get hundreds of virgins and hopeless AFCs. I am neither a virgin nor a hopeless AFC... in fact, I'm pretty successful with women, which puts me at a higher success level than 75% of the people on this board. So that's where I get off giving advice.

I hope I have made my point clearly. And in conclusion, eat my ass and balls.

 

[JSH]

Originally posted by AgonyUncle
Never said you lack intelligence. Just that you are fvcking naive if you think that KIDS your age are in a position to give advice on the effectiveness of methods in your what, 3-4 years dating experience?

Never ceases to amaze me. You get blokes who have gone through marriage on this site, yet you have babies telling them how why they don’t understand women. Stop posing, and start listening more. You have a hell of a lot more to learn about women before you are going to be in a position where you can start giving solid advice.

I agree with Krassus and Six-String-Samuri

While i have most likely had less experiance than you and some of my experiance will be very irrelevant to those who are a lot older, it sometimes helps to have a different viewpoint.

In addition, by the mere presence of yourself on this board at age 26, I have probably had more success than yourself, at least in my formative years. This site helped me in certain ways and what i want to do (like most others here) is help others by giving them information and learning from their experiances. Everyone has different experiances and we should learn from all of them.

What about natural PUAs, those that got women easily, surely they are in a more solid base to give advice than you could ever be, because it comes naturally to them.

In addition through learning by discussing others experiances you can learn through observation, something that i have also done. Surely you cannot argue with that.

From what i have seen and what i know a) shawnstjames is still really insecure and wants to be able to continue how he is (well done if you truly are successful, but i doubt it)
b) he hasnt got the point of this site and self improvement - ie evolution into someone you want to be
c)he does have a kind of point but did not phrase it that well
d) appears to disparage me and my approach by refferring to it as rules


@shaun - u seem to have got the wrong end of the stick, those things are not rules, they are guidelines for newer people who want to learn. The best way is to adopt a fluid approach and not stick to any type of canned lines or rules.

 

[Krassus]

Originally posted by Six-String Samurai
Ignoring, for now, the fact that your post reeks with mean-spirited insecurity that hints at some (frankly) deeper personal issues, I'll indulge you for exactly one post and offer some form of a rebuttal.

Krassus and I make posts for the LEAST COMMON DENOMINATOR. When I post, I'm not usually too concerned about the person who originally posted the thread. I'm worried about all the thousands of lurking AFC's who might come across advice like the shyt in this post. This stuff will feed right into the average AFC's emotional apathy, allowing him to fall back into his own routines, except now he can justify it because he read on the sosuave boards that it was okay.

Plain and simple, I've been around enough women to know that the original post is flawed (thanks Krassus for breaking it down). Yes, you do get guys who have been married on this site, but you also get hundreds of virgins and hopeless AFCs. I am neither a virgin nor a hopeless AFC... in fact, I'm pretty successful with women, which puts me at a higher success level than 75% of the people on this board. So that's where I get off giving advice.

I hope I have made my point clearly. And in conclusion, eat my ass and balls.

Thanks for saving me 5 minutes As far as reasons for discrimination go, age is among the dumbest... though it's not like the rest are far behind. I've met 20-year-olds who have laid more women than most people of any age, make more money annually than most people of any age, and are generally far happier and more successfull than most people of any age. I don't claim any of the above as my achievments, but nevertheless, i think that if we were to compare what i've achieved in my 21 years to what he achieved in his 26, he'd probably get depressed. Regardless, enough with this. Let's try to stay on-topic and avoid criticizing eachother.

 

[AgonyUncle]

And here is the problem exactly. Ego.

Sorry to say chaps, but women at the age of 16-18 are different prospects to women who are 18-21. Same goes for ladies who are older. Wait till they hit 24-27 and the majority seem to be men hating baggage carrying maniacs from hell. If you can honestly believe that a 21 year old has enough experience to offer advice on how to handle all types of situations with women, even women of older age brackets, I find that extremely hard to believe.

Its simple logistics gents. A bloke who is 35 has gone through most of it already, and his advice is surely a hell of a lot more valuable than the 21 year old "PUA" screwing varsity chicks. You learn just as much from peoples failures as you do from their success.

But then what do I know Krassus? You come across as a typical message board troll who has the pyscic ability to determine people's entire character, motives and history through their posts. Or just maybe you could be a fvcking poser? Hell, you and Samurai are almost the same age, maybe you should start dating each other.