For those who still won't approach

[J2K]

Men, ask youselves these questions. Apply this to other areas of your life too, not only meeting women. Have you made a serious, conscious attempt to talk to women? Have there been several significant events in which you were severely unsuccessful? Without putting forth effort, how can one claim he is unsuccesful? Until one puts forth the effort to even attempt a feat he cannot be considered a failure. So far you've been "getting by" in life, but is that what you want? Is that all you're capable of? As Marcus Aurellius said, there are three things that make up a man: flesh, breath, and reason. Approaching and talking to a women won't affect the first two and any affect on the latter is created entirely by yourself. Don't let it affect you.

Stand Tall,
J2K

 

[penguin]

I don't think i've ever approached lol. I don't think it's about fear as much as "oh i already know the outcome. Why bother?". That's how it is for me, anyway, i don't know if that's what the main reason for it or not.

For me it's "I COULD go and talk to her..... but I already know the result of that, so nah, screw it". It's like trying to support your team during a replayed football game when your friend comes in and says they got beaten bad. How are you gonna root for your team and get into it when you know they're gonna lose this one? Or when someone spoils the end of a movie.

I think it's the self-defeat that's more of a problem than the fear of rejection. It's the "i'm not good enough" attitude. I know when I see an attractive young lady I instantly think to myself "no chance. Look for a bit.... but c'mon, you can't have that". In fact, the only females I can see myself approaching are ones that I'm not even attracted to because then, to me, they aren't beyond me. However, why would I want to approach them?

I think it all comes down to what you think of yourself and confidence. It's something that's been said over and over again but it's true, it's all about the confidence. Confidence in yourself. You don't have to be sure that they're gonna give up the number, you just have to be sure that you ARE good enough for any female. Whether they see it or not is their problem.

 

[Sexus]

Fear of approach? This is a falacy...

It is the fear of what comes next, the fear of the unknown, that prevents most men from approaching women.

Canned material at the beginning stage of transition from AFC to DJ can help you through. I defy anyone to disagree. Its field tested right here.

Just dont rely on it once youve crossed the bridge. By then the wisest of us will realise this before we come to it.

Just remember: That for every bridge we cross we are creating another one just down the road.

No planning or techniques can allow for this. Just accept when it arises and deal.

 

[J2K]

Penguin, you've just strengthened what I said. Fundamental logic demonstrates that your assumption that you "already know the outcome" is invalid based on the premise that you explicitly stated that you don't even approach women. How can you shut yourself out without even giving yourself a chance to see. Once isn't enough, twice isn't enough. Your sample space is non-existant since you haven't even given it a shot yet. Get shut down over 100 times, yes, literally 100 times in one week and you MIGHT have something supporting your stance. Just go give it a shot or 1000.

 

[Virtú]

IMO, not having your game on 24/7 is probably another reason, missing opportunities by not having your eyes and ears (and d!ck) open.

This is probably why most guys go to specific places to meet women; it doesn't occur to them to approach anywhere else. And probably a normal work/school environment doesn't have them aware of their sex drive.

Shutting yourself out before you even know the outcome is entirely possible - it's called "pessimism"; you believe that the negative outcome is the more probable one, so you don't try.
I do it all the time without even thinking.

 

[Mjfan12]

AWESOME post. I need to get over this fear.

Its just that before I got this knowledge of how females work, and how to attract them, I always did the total AFC stuff. Last year a girl I REALLY REALLY wanted, I totally messed up with. I smothered her too much, wrote her some letters, tried to talk to her all the time. She felt like I was stalking her. Maybe I was in a way. lol. The thing that kills me is that everyone agrees that I could have gotten her if I played my cards right. If only I had known of PU techniques sooner! I just cant get over this girl.

The sooner I try, the sooner I can get over her.

People tell me I'm good looking, I got a good athletic body, I'm intelligent, have a decent sense of humour. All the pieces are there, but I still think I'm not good enough.