For those who have used Online Dating

[zekko]

I was reading the "How to make women approach you - in 5 easy steps" article at the top of the page. One of the strategies (the fifth one, in fact) was to use online dating. I ran across this quote in the article:

"When you learn how to fully utilize dating sites, and have hordes of women pursuing you online, you will undergo a major shift in the way you think about women and dating.

You’ll realize that you never, ever need to chase women and this will effect the "vibe" you send women as you go about your day"

I have never used online dating, never felt the need. So what little I know about it is what I have read on this forum. And most posts I have read on this forum seem to suggest that women will be flooded with requests on these sites, and men... not so much. So is it realistic to expect that you will have "hordes of women pursuing you online"? Or is this just the segue into the author selling his book on online dating?

 

[ELMER_GANTRY]

I've never used online dating either, its a waste of time. The sites are filled with mostly, single moms looking for a baby daddy, desperate chicks, and nut cases who look for the AFC guy who they can control.

I think guys mostly go on there looking for chicks they can bang and the women wait to see who is available to them. I'm sure good looking guys would get lots of responses on there. I'm sure there are some gimmicks and some tricks you can use to get them to come like from what you read.

I had a lot of success on myspace when it used to be good, and I still get some messages but not as much because people aren't using it as much. When it used to be popular, and I was the "Cool New Person" or when I was on the first page in the browse people, I had tons of friend requests and messages from girls. Some even in their late 30's and early 40's were trying to get with me being a young guy. I had a cool looking profile, pics, and my friends were all on there.

It gave me even more confidence because I had all these women writing to me and requesting me from all over the U.S. and I had who I could pick and choose, on there plus meeting girls offline. I had it made. I got some stories too haha

I know how that feels, so I agree with that, and I guess if you make a good profile and have good some pics, and get exposure on there, the women will start writing and maybe some gimmicks are probably needed for those dating sites.

 

[MonkeyButt]

I certainly did.
More bone worthy women than I could cope with.

I think the key to success with these sites lies with ...
a) Good pictures (where you're doing something of interest - not holding a fish)
b) Write a profile describing what you like that a woman would like to be a part of.
c) Don't be vague. If they open your profile and read it, give them something to read.
d) Careful with the age range you list. If you're 50, don't list 30 - 50 range. The older woman (closer to your age) will believe that the 30 year old Denny's waitress will win over their accomplishments.

That's it!

 

[Fuglydude]

Zekko,

I was on POF for several months prior to meeting my current fiance, and I gotta say, that hooking up with girls from that site was pretty easy. If you have a well-written profile and good pics you'll immediately stand out against all the other losers that use online dating!!

I was just starting my stripping career at the time, and I was in school fulltime, so online dating was just another efficient avenue for me to meet women. I think its great for guys who are busy and don't have a lot of time to pursue women. I'm not sure if I had "hordes of women pursuing me online", but given the nature of my profile/pics I did enjoy a fairly high response rate when I did decide to message girls. I actually met my fiance off that site!

The type of pictures you put up, in my experience, will determine the intentions with which girls message you/respond to you. I had a few promo pics up displaying my physique, and hence generally speaking, girls that wanted to phuck me would be the ones that were responding more readily. I'm not sure what the results would have been if I had displayed more conservative pictures.

I think in the end it all boils down to the quality of the guy who's using online dating. If you're a high quality guy who's in elite shape, has a great job/business, and have intelligence/education coupled w/ social/sexual awareness and game, girls will be all over you in the real world as well as online. Personally I think guys on this site spend WAAAY too much time working on game and not on themselves...

 

[The Duke]

I've used online dating for a few years. I've continually improved my pics and my profile. Every time I made an improvement I got more and more chics contacting me.

I've finally got a profile that is nothing close to 99.99% of the rest of the guys on there. Its captivating, bold, and conveys that I know my way around women very well and what kind of person I am with out telling my audience. This is the first time I have ever had the girls pretty much pursue me.

Now, for the average guy with a decent profile you will not have hordes of women chasing after you. It doesn't work that way in the real world, so why the hell would it online? I see a lot of trash online that gets their value boosted by a bunch of chump guys telling them how great they are.

It comes down to a numbers game and you better stand out from the crowd.

My last thought.....its difficult to find quality girls on there(looks, brains, personality, job, etc). If you want just hot and fun then it can be had. There are tons of hot girls with baggage and lacking skills to be successful in life.

And ELMER GANTRY.........people like you crack me up.......The title of this thread is "for those who have used online dating"..........and your opening line is "I've never used online dating either, its a waste of time." blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

 

[Solomon]

I've used online dating for a few years. I've continually improved my pics and my profile. Every time I made an improvement I got more and more chics contacting me.

I've finally got a profile that is nothing close to 99.99% of the rest of the guys on there. Its captivating, bold, and conveys that I know my way around women very well and what kind of person I am with out telling my audience. This is the first time I have ever had the girls pretty much pursue me.

Now, for the average guy with a decent profile you will not have hordes of women chasing after you. It doesn't work that way in the real world, so why the hell would it online? I see a lot of trash online that gets their value boosted by a bunch of chump guys telling them how great they are.

It comes down to a numbers game and you better stand out from the crowd.

My last thought.....its difficult to find quality girls on there(looks, brains, personality, job, etc). If you want just hot and fun then it can be had. There are tons of hot girls with baggage and lacking skills to be successful in life.

And ELMER GANTRY.........people like you crack me up.......The title of this thread is "for those who have used online dating"..........and your opening line is "I've never used online dating either, its a waste of time." blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

You don't mind posting your pro do you?

and I agree with fugly, great pics+ great profile= Success on pof

It's that simple

When i was doing well most of the chicks I got were of the strength of my pics a lot of them ain't even read my profile

granted most of the chicks were average nothing to brag about

If you are great looking guy women will message you on the regular

But "hordes" i doubt it

 

[Zarky]

boned about 20 chicks from online dating over the years. It takes a LOTT of time. Cheap though, which is why I like it

There are never "hoards" of women pursuing you, ever. unless youre a movie star. I'd get 1-2 lays for every 100 introductory emails I sent out.

 

[DMSR76]

I used to tinker with online dating as recently as about three years ago. To piggyback what many posters have said, it's a powerful medium if you're attractive and if you have good "font" game. However, I think it does very little to help your in-person game if you're not well-versed with many of the philosophies preached on sites like this one.

All that said, I used to have a relatively high F-close rate online. I think that had much to do with the fact that I could contact and arrange meetings with a LOT of women in a relatively short period of time.... Think plate spinning on steroids. Also, it may have had something to do with the fact that the women I met online tended to be a bit more carefree about sex, for lack of a better description. (Maybe they were a bit more desperate, and maybe I was a bit more willing to play along chicks to get poon at that stage in my life.)

...At least that's how it was in the early to mid-2000s. Things may be totally different now that it's a more widely accepted medium for dating. The same flaky, psudeo-smart, attitudinal chicks that used to be restricted to the clubs are probably equally prevalent online these days.

 

[Lexington]

I use OKCupid to supplement my "real life game." You are right that women get flooded with tons of messages whereas guys don't get nearly as many, but that pretty much mirrors real life. I get messaged every once in a while. The only advantage of online dating is that you can play the numbers game in much larger numbers than you can in real life....you cast out a big net and see what you can haul in.

I find that my "approaches" are far less successful online than in real life. But it's easy to compensate by sending 1-2 line messages to large number of girls. Of the girls that do respond, however, I have a higher f-close rate than in real life. I guess once they've already vetted you online, they give it up a lot easier. Most of them give it up by the second or third date at the latest.

 

[nismo-4]

Ugly guys should never use online dating. It will not work for you at all.

Average guys: Better photoshop some muscles on you, because you've got an uphill battle and luck is a big factor.

Handsome guys: Got it made super easy!

 

[runner83]

Ugly guys should never use online dating. It will not work for you at all.

Average guys: Better photoshop some muscles on you, because you've got an uphill battle and luck is a big factor.

Handsome guys: Got it made super easy!

True. Pics make a big difference.

I'd only rate myself as an average looking guy, but when I've been on it, girls were contacting me. Not 500 a day, but enough that I didn't have to do any first contact.

 

[zekko]

Okay, from reading these posts it sounds like the "hordes of women pursuing you online" idea was a hyperbole, pretty much as expected. But it does sound like a lot of guys have had some fairly decent success online. It makes me wonder why most of the prior posts I've read here about online dating sites were filled with so much whining.

 

[mrRuckus]

I don't know what world you "cast a big net" guys live in, but I don't know where you find all these chicks to mass email. Most women on these sites don't even meet minimum criteria and that's before even considering looks, of which few have.

There's a few okay women out there, but I've never seen enough for the 30/day or whatever number you guys imply, and I live near a large metro area.

 

[joverby]

I don't know what world you "cast a big net" guys live in, but I don't know where you find all these chicks to mass email. Most women on these sites don't even meet minimum criteria and that's before even considering looks, of which few have.

There's a few okay women out there, but I've never seen enough for the 30/day or whatever number you guys imply, and I live near a large metro area.

I was just about to say it has to do with where you live until I saw your last sentence. I live in a 60K+ population town, the closest one next to me is like 500K like 35 miles away. So it's SLIM pickin's for me. I really need to up my font game I think on mine.

 

[squirrels]

Be picky/choosy who you communicate with.

If your pics are good enough, or your profile is interesting enough, then just wait for the women to contact YOU. If you chase after them, you get lost in their inbox.

"Dating" sites aren't good targets, because most of the guys are hornballs anxious to whip out their penii but completely inept socially. Women are generally either fat or "damaged goods".

Better choices are websites that aren't specifically for "dating". Forums are actually good targets, since it gives you a common interest right off the bat. (hey Iqqi... ) MySpace was good back in the day, before it got overrun by spammers and commercialism. Facebook WOULD be a good site to meet new women...if I had any friends who had attractive female friends. Facebook doesn't lend itself to meeting "brand new people".

IRL is still better, honestly. The problem is, aside from bars and such, people are just very closed-off in general, at least in big urban areas, to new people approaching them in real life.

 

[Colossus]

I've had mixed results with online dating. Never used POF, but I did use OkCupid and Match. Match is a joke---never seen a more homogenous group of women who think their pvssy is lined with gold. Not to mention you pay for it.

OkCupid was largely great for me---I met one girl there I dated for a year, and my current gf who has been the most complementary chick I've met. I went one 1-3 dates with at least 20-25 others, mixed bag of cute twenty-somethings who thought too highly of themselves, desperate 6's, and the odd 8 who was weird or just wasnt into me.

My dad met his soon-to-be wife on eHarmony....I'd never use it but it worked for him. Same with my sister, met her soon-to-be fiancée on eHarmony.

Online dating really is what you make of it. Pick the right site(s) for your interests, use short, light-hearted messages, and cast the net wide. 90% of chicks you'll filter out on the first date. The ones that go to 3 have potential. There is only a stigma around it if you feed it with your mind---it's no different than meeting chicks at the bar, bookstore, concert, etc. In many ways it's better because you can sometimes catch red flags before you even meet them. It does have it's limitations, obviously...pictures can be deceiving. And many times you will spend a week or two emailing a cute chick only to find out when you meet her she's a nutbag or just has no manners.

So the take-home point is dont make it your SOLE vehicle to meeting women, still approach and do something social to keep fresh faces rolling by.

 

[joverby]

Make sure messages are light hearted and short. I have a problem w/ making short messages. When I get asked a question I tend to ramble but it kills attraction I've found.

 

[Findog]

Had two serious relationships from online dating. Since my most recent ex left me, I've laid two different girls and fooled around with several more.

 

[Lexington]

It gets maligned a lot here. Sure girls do get flooded with tons of messages, so your odds with each individual girl are less than what they would be in the real world. But you can also hit on a much larger number of girls too.