******** for I am not attracted to you

[mahon83050]

As from my previous posts, I went out with this chick last week. I was attracted to her, but I was getting some bad body language signals. We talked on the phone the other night and she agreed to a second date and then she hit me with this e-mail:

"How was your New Years? Mine was good. I was thinking about the first time we met up. I think there were a lot of awkward uncomfortable silences. Our conversations seemed to be strained. I just don't think that we clicked.

It would be nice to keep emailing each other but I don't think going out together is a good idea. Sorry about the short notice for tomorrow night. Let me know what you think."






Well, What goes around comes around man. I recenlty dumped a girl after three dates and hurt her. I always said the same would happen to me.

 

[Knicknack]

sounds like you need to work on your conversation skills. you should have her laughin more.

 

[mahon83050]

Yeah, I felt like I was interrogating her. She said I seemed shy too, which I thought I wasn't. I was asking most of the questions.

 

[xblitz44x]

It wasn't anything you *did*. You did just fine. If she liked you more, she wouldn't have let it get to the point where it was like you were interrogating her. There just wasn't chemistry. It's not "********", she is telling the truth. I've been on many dates where there wasn't chemistry. Just let it go and move onto the next one. Again, don't take it personally because it's nothing that you did, or didn't do.

 

[mahon83050]

Originally posted by xblitz44x
It wasn't anything you *did*. You did just fine. If she liked you more, she wouldn't have let it get to the point where it was like you were interrogating her. There just wasn't chemistry. It's not "********", she is telling the truth. I've been on many dates where there wasn't chemistry. Just let it go and move onto the next one. Again, don't take it personally because it's nothing that you did, or didn't do.

Well, what I meant was she probably did not find me physically attrative then. I am by no means ugly, but this could of been the case. We were set up by a friend, so the first date we had was the first time we saw each other. Since there was no chemistry on her behalf, she probably did not care for what she saw. If she did, there would of been chemistry. Looks mean alot to women, I do not care what they say. I thought she was cute, I just felt a little uncomfortable that she did not seem to like me. Also, she also said in our AIM that I seemed a little shy. She said this after I said I thought she was shy. That is what dissapointed me the most...coming across as shy to a woman is 95% BAD!!

 

[InLawsHateMe]

That's tough bro....

..shake it off.... there's plenty out there... just next time.. try no to look at it as a 'date'... try to look at it as just going out with a possible new friend... when it's a buddy, you're really more yourself, and less worried about saying something wrong.. ala uncomfortable silences.

Try going out with some female co-workers for drinks after work... BS with them, if you are around women enough, you will realize that it becomes less of a 'Quest For Acceptance' and more 'Just Chillin with Female Homies' ...should one or two, or three fall for your personality, that's just a bonus....

 

[white_hype]

i need to personally visit you and slap the pussiness out of you

you didnt click with a girl? so what? if you had better conversations and did FUN things with her looks would hardly matter

get over it, its just one girl, the time you spend sulking about this crap is time of YOUR life thats lost when you could be doing other things... going to the movies, haning out with friends, lifting weights, whatever

whenver a girl rejects me i just take it as a learning experience and say "the next girl wont know what the **** hit her" and go out for more/better girls

shes not worth your time so stop thinking about her

AND IF I CATCH U EMAILING HER I WILL BEAT UR ASS

lol hope that helped

 

[ManOMan]

Mahon,

dont sweat it man. Just because you didnt have chemistry doesnt mean you are unattractive.

I have known many good looking women ive been on dates with and the chemistry just wasnt there..but it doesnt mean one or the other person is unattractive

InLaws,

I know you have good intentions to help Mahon with the "treat them like any buddy", but that will eventually get you into the dreaded friend zone

I think a more appropriate advice would be to treat them as a potential date/bang/g/f, but dont put too much stock into the results

Every guy should have the mentality that "hey if it doesnt work out, oh well, NEXT"

 

[Ricky]

MAHON.

A big thing I noted in what you said, was that you were setup with this girl.

I HAVE HAD NOTHING BUT BAD EXPERIENCES BEING SETUP!

WHY?

Because it is awkward for both parties. It is very counterseductive and lacks romance for the girl to be setup with a guy. Both parties feel strange about it.

Fellow DJ"s, I recommend no matter what and I say this with utter confidence, that you don't take up offers to be setup. I get them all the time from girls, typically married girls that want to set me up with their sisters.

It is so much better if you can create a situation where you can meet them all for drinks and hit on them with no pretense of a blind date.

 

[Ricky]

In fact I have a great plan for this. I will personally test it out too.

When a girl next volunteers to set you up with her friends. Tell her that you are too much of a bad boy for her friend and that it wouldn't work out well.

Tell her to bring her friend along for drinks one night. The girl will no doubt talk you up to her friend who she wanted to set you up with. Be alittle bit aloof, but be ****y and funny.

In this manner you will win over the friend. Far better than if you were set up with them.

 

[DJ_Dork]

Originally posted by mahon83050
Well, what I meant was she probably did not find me physically attrative then. I am by no means ugly, but this could of been the case. We were set up by a friend, so the first date we had was the first time we saw each other. Since there was no chemistry on her behalf, she probably did not care for what she saw. If she did, there would of been chemistry. Looks mean alot to women, I do not care what they say. I thought she was cute, I just felt a little uncomfortable that she did not seem to like me. Also, she also said in our AIM that I seemed a little shy. She said this after I said I thought she was shy. That is what dissapointed me the most...coming across as shy to a woman is 95% BAD!!

She found you ugly to her. Move on.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Originally posted by mahon83050
...Well, What goes around comes around man. I recenlty dumped a girl after three dates and hurt her. I always said the same would happen to me.

Whoah, now that's the winning attitude to take!

Suggestion: do some interior work and figure out why that's bullshyt.

I'd reply and tell her she's right, you didn't click with her and didn't enjoy the date very well, either.

Then end it with "I don't really see any reason to e-mail each other, though. Take care..." and sign off.

She LJBF'd you -- no! worse! she doesn't even want to be friends in person, she will only accept contact through e-mail (which she won't respond to or will block you out eventually.)

Screw that. Don't make nice--don't be a bastard either. Just tell her it works both ways (or doesn't work both ways) and end contact.

Or just don't reply. I wouldn't waste the time myself...

 

[Befuddled]

Originally posted by xblitz44x
It wasn't anything you *did*. You did just fine. If she liked you more, she wouldn't have let it get to the point where it was like you were interrogating her. There just wasn't chemistry. It's not "********", she is telling the truth. I've been on many dates where there wasn't chemistry. Just let it go and move onto the next one. Again, don't take it personally because it's nothing that you did, or didn't do.

i agree with this.
She seems to be quite clear, and im honestly surprised that it wasnt some other lame excuse. if i were you id appreciate such honesty and accept 'friendzone' status with this girl.

Cheers.

 

[vudufixit]

One example is this:


........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

That's the profound silence of them not calling you back. Heed it well, then go on to the NEXT one.

 

[mahon83050]

Well, why I said ******** because I feel their was no "chemistry" due to her not finding me physically attractive. Yes, It does not necessarily mean she found me ugly. However, there was not anything in my physical appearance that drew her attention in a good way. What else could it have been? I thought I acted confident and talked intelligently. What she really felt like saying was, I did not find you cute, so I do not wish to see you anymore. If you are physcially attracted to some one then there is most likely chemistry. Please correct me if I am wrong.

 

[becker]

I don't think that just because you find someone physically attractive that there will necessarily be chemistry. If you read my last post series involving my HB10 experiment, I can tell you right now that I found this girl stunningly gorgeous (as I'm sure any guy who saw her would) but we just didn't quite have that chemistry because we were such different people. Like night and day in many ways, so we also didn't have a lot of exciting things to talk about. You start losing interest after a while. Believe me, I was the most skeptical about this being possible, because the whole purpose of my little experiment was to prove myself right, that looks are basically everything and I'd be happy just being with this girl. In the end, we found each other physically attractive, but that's where it ended.

Oh well, social proof, don't forget it